Lilith and Amity oneshots (REQUESTS CLOSED)

You Don't Deserve This Pain

It was the weekend on the boiling isles. Most kids were happy to hang out with their friends and do fun things, but that was the opposite for Amity. She doesn’t have any real friends. Sure Boscha technically counted but she was an asshole and constantly bugged Amity. Besides, being with her reminds her of Odalia.

Unfortunately, Amity would be left alone since Lilith had to work at the castle. It did upset her for a little while but she knew she’d have to accept it. She had started to feel a tiny bit of separation anxiety when she started to trust Lilith a little bit more. It became hard for her to do anything without being near Lilith. Many school days were tough because she felt like she wasn’t safe without her. It was still hard to open up with her mentor though. She felt safe with her, yes, but she would always get intense anxiety whenever she would even think about talking to Lilith about her mental issue and problems.

When they said their goodbyes at noon, Amity decided to go to her room for the time being. She tried to take her mind off of being away from her mentor, but nothing worked. She tried reading, writing, drawing, watching shows, but no matter what, the feeling of nervousness and dread stayed.

A couple of hours have passed when suddenly, that anxious feeling heightened. It was getting intense and she couldn’t do anything. Lilith would usually be there to help calm her down but she wasn’t here.

“No one loves you,” A voice, her voice, told her. Her brain was doing that funky thing again where it would force negative thoughts and feelings onto her and make her feel like shit while making it impossible for her to feel happy. She couldn’t control it either. Lilith said that it was likely she had an anxiety disorder or depression.

“Your siblings let them hurt you,” it said. Her siblings never did a thing about her parents hurting her. They just stood by and even helped. They would tell them if she got a question wrong or wasn’t being sociable.

“Where's your friends? Oh right, you don’t have any, because no one likes a weakling and a bully,” It continued on. Guilt and shame waved over her as she remembered the horrible things she did to her only friend because she was too weak to stand up to her parents.

Amity hugged her pillow tightly, trying to block them out, but they kept coming.

“Lilith doesn’t care, she’s probably obligated to take you in,”

“No one would care if you were gone,”

“You deserve pain”

“No one likes you”

They kept going and going. Amity ran to Lilith’s room, looking for comfort, but remembered that she was gone. She needed to get these emotions out. She needed to do something, feel something! Eventually, she realized that she couldn’t do anything to help her situation. Lilith was gone and she couldn’t feel at peace.

The voices and thoughts continued as she ran back into her room. The drawer to her desk opened with the use of her magic, and she took out a screw driver and pencil sharpener. Her hands shook and her breathing was heavy. Tears blurred her vision as she got off the screws holding the blades in place. She gripped the sharp razor piece with her thumb and index finger. Blood and pain ripped from her skin as she dragged the blade across. More and more cuts were made. She sat in her blood, enjoying the agony.

A couple minutes passed and regret and shame became the new emotion. She had promised Lilith she would stop or get help. And now she had broken it. More tears started to come out as guilt washed over her. She finally realized that she couldn’t cope alone and needed help.

…

Lilith hated doing desk work. She would much rather be out on a mission right now like Flora, rather than reading over papers and contracts. The ringing of her crow snapped her out of her desk work trance. She picked it up, not knowing who it was.

“Lilith…” The voice said over the crow. They sounded like they were crying. Lilith realized who the voice was in an instant.

“Dearest?”

“L-lilith, I- I did it again… ‘m s-so-orry. I need you…” Amity sobbed and hiccuped. Lilith knew what that meant. She must’ve cut again.

“It’s okay, sweetie, I’m on my way. Stay on the crow with me?” she heard a ‘mhm’ come from the line.

Lilith listened to Amity cry as she packed up her stuff and left a note for the emperor on why she had to leave early. She got out her Raven staff and exited the castle before starting the flight to the house.

“I’m going to hang up now since I’m outside the house, okay?” she said when she landed in front of the house. After an okay was given to her from Amity, she hung up before making her way inside and climbing up the stairs to her room.

The door to the bedroom was cracked open, so Lilith knocked lightly before entering. She saw her protege crying on the floor next to her bed, wrists bleeding out. Once Amity saw Lilith, she jumped up and ran to hug her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she continuously weeped into her chest. Lilith embraced the girl tightly back, knowing that weight and tightness helped keep her grounded.

“Shh, shh, its alright, dear, I’m not mad,” She assured her as she continued to cry. She swayed Amity back and forth as she held her close and rubbed her scalp and back.

This continued for a while and Amity was finally starting to calm down enough. Lilith pulled away a little to begin talking.

“Sweetie, can I heal these for you?” she gently held the wounded arm. Amity nodded and went to sit on the bed so it would be easier to heal. Lilith sat next to her and performed a healing spell. They sat in silence for a bit before Amity spoke up.

“Lilith, I’m sorry,” she said again.

“Dear, I already told you, you have nothing to be sorry about, I just want to make sure you're okay. You dont deserve any of this pain,” Lilith told her, rubbing her back when she was finished healing.

Amity kept silent. Lilith realized she might not feel like talking.

“How about we spend the day together to help you get your mind off of this, hm?” she suggested. The girl nodded and gave her another hug.

Lilith moved into a comfier position and pulled Amity close to almost be in her lap, so they could cuddle. Amity relaxed in her hold as she gently scratched her scalp. A purr erupted from inside her chest as she finally felt at peace