Haida x Male Reader

Lies

I lay there on the bed, thinking about him. He meant the world to me, and that world just left. I haven't slept yet, it doesn't feel right to sleep in this bed without him. Him. I can’t even say his name. I wish he would understand that Nico is just a friend, and our conversation was entirely friendly. He hasn’t come back for his stuff yet. If he came I don’t think I would be able to let him go. He probably knows that as well as I do. He knows me so well, so how can’t he see that I wasn’t lying?

//Timeskip//
After finally falling asleep I wake up to a figure in my armchair. When my eyes focus I see my mom reading a book in front of me. “Mom what the hell?! How do you just show up in my apartment?” “I could sense something was wrong, you know those motherly instincts.” “Well I’m fine so you can leave.” “See, as a mother, my instincts are better than any real senses, like sight or smell. And they’re telling me that you are hurt. So I’m not leaving until you aren’t.” “Mom I-” “Nope, I don’t wanna hear it, I already brought over my things anyways.” “You brought over your thin-” I look over to see a mound of items. “HOW LONG ARE YOU PLANNING TO STAY?” “However long it takes for you to get over this painfully obvious heartbreak.” “Heartbreak? What heartbreak-" “You’ve obviously been crying, the puffy red eyes are not a good look by the way. And you were exactly like this when Benson broke up with you.” Benson. My high-school ex. “Look I appreciate you and your….. instincts, but I'm fine, you can leave.” I say in an extremely agitated tone. “See, I don't believe you-” “Mom, please, leave now.” “Ok then, I’ll go.” She looks back at me, then walks out of the apartment, leaving her pile of items here.

I sit down on the couch, thinking about the time we watched that movie. If only I knew then what I know now. It feels so suffocating in my apartment, so I decide to take a walk. I walk outside to then realize I'm in my underwear and work shirt. It's even better that my landlord is having some dumb celebration so everyone is outside. Looking at me. In my underwear. I would die of embarrassment if I wasn’t dying of heartbreak, so I slowly walk back up the stairs and then change into my jeans and black hoodie. I walk to the park, admiring the trees and birds, feeling slightly better than I did in the apartment. Sitting down on a bench, I take in that fresh outside scent, getting lost in it all until I feel a hand on my shoulder. Nico. He smiles at me. “Hey Y/N, how’re you doing?” “Pretty bad.” “I know that feeling.” “My boyfriend accused me of cheating and left me in our apartment.” “Oh man, that sucks. Hope it gets better.” He places his hand on my thigh and I shift slightly. “Yeah…so I was just out here for some air, I’m gonna head back. See you later.”

I walk away thinking about that interaction. What was that? Was he trying to make a pass at me? I don't have enough sleep or energy to think about it so when I get back I immediately lie down. My head is swirling with thoughts. Thoughts of him, thoughts of my mom, thoughts of Nico, it's all just a mess of thoughts. I need some sleep, but another sleepless night occurs. When I see the sunrise, I groan in exasperation and exhaustion. This is definitely gonna be a problem. I hear my alarm go off and I turn to see that it's my work alarm. wait. IT'S MY WORK ALARM. I rush to get ready. How did I just completely forget about work? I guess a lot has been going on lately. I drive there in complete silence, except for the screaming voices in my head that don't fail to remind me over and over that he will be there. Right next to me. I almost turn back around but then I remember that this job determines whether or not I have a place to stay tomorrow. Does he have a place to stay? That's not my business, and I couldn’t care less.

‘Oh but you do.’ Says one voice. ‘What? No I don't.’ ‘Yes you do, you care so much about Hai-’ ‘Don't finish that.’ ‘Okay okay, but you know I'm right.’ ‘Whatever.’ I then realize that I've been talking to myself all the way to the locker room. I go silent faster than someone can say it, embarrassment blocking out the rest of my thoughts. Walking into the accounting department, my heart begins beating extremely fast. Has it always been this hot in here? My feet walk forwards faster than my mind can tell me to turn back and next thing I know I'm sitting down at my desk. Next to nobody? I spoke too soon. He sits down next to me and I feel my heart sink. We both sit in silence, neither of us moving a muscle. “Um, hey.” I say. He doesn’t even look at me. “I know that we haven’t spoken since that night, but I just wanted to tell you that I-” “I can't do this.” He says and walks off. I sat there, silent and stopped myself from crying. He never came back to his desk, and after a tiring day, I walked out of the office defeated. Retsuko stops me though.

“Hey Y/N.” “Hey Retsuko.” “I noticed you and Haida in the office. Are you two ok?” “What do you mean?” “You guys work so well together. If I didn't know any better I’d say you two were dating.” “D-dating?” My face flushes a deep red. “Well, I should probably get going, see you around. “Yeah you too.” When I get home, I see my mom sitting on my couch deep in thought. She doesn’t even see me walk past her to my room. I changed into some pajamas and sat down next to mom, her finally facing to look at me. "Hey sweetie, I was getting ready to leave. I just wanted to stop by for a second." She stands up to get her stuff, and I battle with myself deciding on whether she can stay or not. As she’s about to leave I stop her. “Wait. You can stay. I’m sorry for snapping at you yesterday. It hasn’t just been one thing after another, it’s been every damn thing at once.” “I know how that is. But are you sure you don’t want me to go, I mean I could find somewhere else.” “No it’s fine, besides I need some company right now.” “Ok, if you say so.” She then drops her pile of items right in front of my door. “Could you at least sort that out, it’s been lying around this whole time.” “You have an extra place I could put this stuff in?” “What even is all this?”

We spend the next hour or so sorting it all out into clothes, toiletries, and extra items that she brought for no reason in particular. “You might as well have taken your house.” I say sitting back letting out a loud sigh. “I would but they haven’t installed the wheels yet.” She says laughing. I laugh too, even though it wasn’t really funny. I put her clothes in my bottom drawer, moving everything in there with the rest of the drawers. She sets a picture frame down on my desk, and I can’t quite see it. But then I do. It's me, Mom, Dad, and Haida. She notices me staring and puts a hand on my shoulder. She doesn’t say a word, but this moment doesn’t require words. She’s said all that she needed to say with just a touch. That must be her mother magic doing its thing. We don’t talk for a while, just standing there, in silence. Not a deafening silence though, It’s a comforting silence, that just knowing she’s there makes everything else go away. “Well I’ll leave you to this, I have to go get my mattress out of the car.” She says. I don’t know how long I was there, but I turned around and it’s pitch black outside, the only light coming from buildings.

I lie down, using that comforting silence to fall asleep.