Ready Made Relationship

Phoning From Home

Buck was lost to his mind. It whirled around him at a hundred miles per hour.

He was alone, no visitors allowed overnight, so his thoughts were crushing him.

Hen and Eddie left. They left. Buck had been left behind again. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever meant as much to the 118 as they'd meant to him. His mind swiftly moved on to what his father figure had told him.

At first, he'd refuted the idea with all of his might. Fists clenched and face screwed up in fury. Now, he wasn't so sure.

Buck had told the 118 in no uncertain terms that he couldn't be left behind again because of how much it had damaged him when they'd done it before. He was less surprised by Hen's departure as she had never actually apologised for the previous occasions. But, Eddie? Eddie had apologised profusely. He had sworn on Christopher's life that he would never do it again.

Eddie's leaving felt like the most bitter betrayal. Eddie was supposed to be his best friend.

That led to another realisation for Buck. Another question. In all of their time as apparent best friends, had Eddie ever really been nice to Buck?

Buck remembered several occasions on which he'd supported Eddie. Helping the older man find Carla, all the times he looked after Christopher so that Eddie could take off for the day, whenever Eddie had a breakdown and Buck sat with him until he calmed down and inevitably decided not to talk about it. That kindness had never been repaid. Of course, Buck didn't have a child, although he liked to think that he loved Christopher like he was his own, so that did exclude him from some of the kindnesses that he bestowed on the other man but even so. Every time Buck had a breakdown, Eddie was the first person to tell him to suck it up, Eddie had laughed at him when he'd come clean about his nightmares. Eddie had ignored Buck's mental health issues as though it had been his life's ambition, and Buck had let him. Buck ket him because all this time, he'd let himself be fooled into thinking that Eddie cared about him, but Eddie didn't care.

It was time for Buck to face the facts. Eddie had never been a good friend to him. He'd used and abused him.

A sob tore from Buck's throat, and he pressed his right fist against his mouth to muffle the noise. Taking a few deep breaths, he reached for his mobile phone. He needed to make sure that the only two people he had previously thought he had, back in LA, were actually his people.

The phone rang and rang, ringing out the first two times that he called. On the third try, the call was picked up.

"Evan? Is that you?" Maddie's worried voice filtered through the phone and straight into his ear. Another sob left him, this one soft with relief. Maddie, at least, still cared for him. "Evan?"

"They left me again, Mads. They left me." Buck's voice cracked, and tears rolled down his face. "I think I'm finally accepting that they never did treat me right, and I'm scared, Maddie. Owen told me that I should think about leaving the 118 and, for the first time, I can't think of any reason why I should stay."

"Oh, Evy," Maddie sounded sad, Buck could almost hear the frown on her face. He heard her call for Chimney, her voice almost equally as choked up as his own. "Howie's coming. I'm gonna put you on speaker." Buck could hear soft padding footsteps and then the sigh of the Buckley-Han sofa cushions as someone added more weight to it.

"What's going on, baby?" Chim sounded tired, which caused Buck to realise that it was the middle of the night.

"Oh, shit," he groaned. "Maddie, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"Holy shit! Buck? Is that you?" There was a loud scrambling noise which led Buck to believe that the man was moving closer to the phone.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry for waking you up, I needed some reassurance." Buck muttered. He was so ashamed of himself. Who was he to wake people up in the middle of the night for his own benefit?