Break The Distance

3

"Y/N L/N. Height 5'6", female..."

You tune out the repetitive information as you follow directions for your required medical exams and you're put in the system for JYP Entertainment's security system. Picture, blood draw, physical exam, eye test, fingerprints, anything you can think of they test for. You opted to cut your hair rather short- effective for security work and easy to put a wig over to ensure that Han doesn't know you cut your hair. Personally, you think the whole disguise thing is a little silly but it's also entertaining. Normally, you need corrective lenses but the company gave you colored contacts to further your disguise. 

Han has only seen you with long dyed hair so you opt for your natural brown hair as a disguise- leaving the makeup and costume department to make your chopped hair into a decent wig that you'll use for any video calls with Han. Your naturally brown eyes are covered up on the clock with green prescription contacts and you leave your freckles be as they're all over your body from years in the California sun where you grew up. As for your uniform, it's kept gender-neutral with loose cargo pants and a bulletproof t-shirt vest that will stay under any shirts you wear. Only the vest and your employee ID are mandatory, so you can blend with crowds, easier than if you had to wear a complete uniform.

You wonder how many undercover bodyguards they have, considering they have you dressing as a civilian while some other security have official uniforms. You get all the different staff uniforms as well in case they are ever needed and they sit in your new closet, neatly organized on hangers while the remainder of your belongings are still in boxes.

Once all the medical exams are done, you're given your badges and security clearances. Lots of radios, equipment, and tours later, you're allowed to go to your room around 5 pm and you'll meet ITZY the day after tomorrow. This gives you time to unpack properly and talk to Han like you usually do, albeit at a different time than usual. Most of your conversations happened when you got up at 7 am (PDT) which was 11 pm (KST). But now that you're both on Korean time, you're not sure how to explain why you'd text him at 1 am (PDT).

You debate on what to tell him as you change and settle for saying you moved to Japan for work and to be with your late mother's family as they're in the same time zone as South Korea. You did tell him you were moving and wouldn't be able to talk to him for a while. And you haven't messaged him in a week because you really were moving.

You: Haaannnnnnnnniiieeee 🥺🥺

Han: OMG look who finally texted me
Han: I exist to her againnnn 🥲

You: Hush, drama queen. I was moving!

Han: You didn't tell me where

You: O
You: Yea

Han: ...

You: ...

Han: Istg I'm not a serial killer, why won't you tell me anythingggggg

You: Your pouting face is cute

Han: We're texting 😑😑🤔

You: So wanna video call?

Han: Yes
Han: Wait, no
Han: I'm being mad at you for not telling me like anything
Han: So you aren't allowed to see my handsome face 

You giggle at his antics, adjusting your wig in the mirror and making sure your glasses don't mess it up before you close your closet and verify that nothing work-related is visible in your single-bedroom apartment. The complex is owned by JYP so you also make sure to close the blinds in case he recognizes the view. Ignoring Han's indecisiveness, you start a video call and wait for him to pick up; he can never turn you down if he's not busy, especially not a rare video call.

"Y/Nnieeeee. I said you're not allowed to see my handsome face!" Han answers, already pouting.

He shifts his camera so you can see him flopped on his bed and you snort as he smashes his face into his pillow.

"You could have rejected my call~" you tease, assuming he's not really mad at you since he didn't hang up after answering either.

Han picks his head up from the pillow and sticks his tongue out at you, saying nothing but you can see the hint of a pained look on his face.

You put your phone down so all he can see is the ceiling and start jokingly singing your words to lighten the mood.

"Woe is me, my soulmate won't talk to me~" You peek at the camera before continuing, "Guess I'll just have to hang up 'cuz there's no one on the other end. Maybe I'll just unpack alone. Live my life alone. Soulmateless because he doesn't speak to me~"

You pick up your phone and pout at Han who is trying so hard not to say anything. You sigh dramatically before mentally going through songs in your head to get him to stop being so stubborn. You can't think of anything so you just start softly playing music from your laptop, propping up your phone so you can see the screen but only the corner of your head is visible.

"Two can play at this game, Jisung. I can't solve anything with you mad at me," you sigh, normally he gives in when you pout because he's not really upset but you must have done something this time.

You stay on the video call and see that he's muted himself and the camera is pointing at his ceiling. You decide to check your emails, humming to the music to distract yourself from the guilt you feel. You've always tried distancing yourself from him- you didn't want to get your hopes up for a soulmate who lives across the world, who you haven't seen in person since your timer declared him your soulmate at a concert. Despite your best attempts, you really do like him, he makes you feel comfortable and you can joke with him like there's no tomorrow. He always makes sure to check in on you and tell you about his days.

And here you are, still refusing to tell him anything. You want to tell him you're falling for him and his jokes and his cheeky smile but it feels impersonal to tell him that when you only really know his online persona. You want to tell him things, but you don't want him to stop texting you because he doesn't want your family drama or he doesn't like your line of work. It scares you because all you have is texting and calling. All it would take is for him to decide you're not worth his time anymore and leave you.

It would be so easy for him to do it, too. Society doesn't want him to have a soulmate as an idol, all he would have to do is stop fighting that influence. You sniffle, blinking away tears. It would be so easy for him to leave you so why did you go and get attached? He's become your safe place, your person you look forward to talking to but what if he doesn't feel the same?

So you sing. You sing a song to describe part of what you feel so you don't have to speak it. Even though you can hear the emotion in your voice, even as tears stream down your face for the words left unsaid.

I miss you when I least expect it
I miss the way you feel on my lips
And I don't know when I'll see you again
I miss you when I least expect it
So when are you coming home
Home
When are you coming home
Home
Feelings were fleeting, but now I'm surrounded
Visions of you shaved into the side of my head
And as I sleep on the other side of the country
I wonder how it feels to be safe in the palm of your hand
And I just want to go home
Home
I just want to go home
Home
I don't take spoonfuls of romanticism in my tea
But this is not a love song
It's my truth I have to speak
Oh, you are so important to me
And I won't let you go
I won't let you go
'Cause wherever you are is home
Home
Wherever you are is home
Home
I miss you when I least expect it
I miss the way you feel on my lips
And I don't know when I'll see you again
So won't you please come home?
Home
Won't you please come home, home?
Home

You sniffle at the end, Han is still muted and his camera is disabled. You wonder if he left the room and didn't hear you at all. You don't want him to be mad at you.

"I'm sorry," you mutter, grabbing your phone and pausing for a moment when you see your own crying face on the call, "I'm so stupid, Jisung."

Hastily, you wipe the tears away and end the call. You don't have the energy to talk anymore. You shouldn't have shut him out so much.

You groan in frustration and toss your phone on the bed, opting to take a shower to wash your stress away.