Learning to Love - Natasha Romanoff and Maria Hill

Ten

Three weeks later.
After their date, Maria and Natasha began to grow a lot closer. They slept together every night they could and were with each other every chance they got. The sex had gotten even better, if that was even possible. Natasha was on her way back from a mission. She was getting in her car outside S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters when she saw something on her windshield. It was a folder. She grabbed it, opening it. She saw a picture of her and Maria sleeping. She flipped through the folder. More pictures of her and Maria. Some of them being them sitting on the couch in Maria's office, other being pictures of them kissing or sitting on the couch together, one of them being her and the brunette taking a shower together. What she noticed is that every picture was taken in Maria's apartment, none of them being at Natasha's quarters. She saw a slip of paper in the back of the folder behind all of the photos. It had something written on it in neat letters. Although it wasn't in English, it was Russian.

You can't hide, Natalia. We'll always find you no matter how hard you try. We can't wait for you to come home, darling. -I.S.

She got in her car, dialing Maria's number. Maria didn't answer at first, but finally did after a few rings,"Maria, baby, where are you?"

"My place. Why? I thought we were staying here tonight."

"Maria, listen carefully. I need you to grab your gun and keys and get out of there. Act as if nothing is wrong."

"Okay," Maria did what Natasha said, grabbing her gun and her keys before leaving the apartment.

"Drive to headquarters as fast as you can."

Maria got into her car,"Natasha, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you when we get inside. The most important thing is that you get to my place safely, okay?" The worry was evident in Natasha's voice.

"Okay."

Once both Maria and Natasha made it up to Natasha's quarters in the Helicarrier, Natasha handed Maria the folder. Maria's face turned pale and she looked like she was going to throw up as she flipped through the pictures. Natasha handed her the paper.

"I.S.? Who is that?" The brunette looked up at her girlfriend.

Natasha sighed,"Ivan Shostokav. He..well, he was basically what the Red Room's equivalent of my handler is for me."

"Shit," the taller woman mumbled.

"I can handle this. We just can't be seen together for awhile and we'll have to keep our distance unless we're either here or completely alone elsewhere. Anyone could be watching. You can stay here for awhile because clearly your apartment is compromised. Chances are that they'll target you to get to me, and I won't let that happen."

"Ivan wasn't just your handler, was he?"

"What makes you think that?" Natasha pressed her lips into a thin line.

"You hesitated when you were telling me who he is."

"No, he wasn't just my handler. He grew feelings for me, and he..raped me."

Maria felt rage boil up inside of her,"He what? I'm gonna kill the motherfucker if it's the last damn thing I do."

Natasha shook her head,"No, Maria. You can't get anywhere near this. You shouldn't be brought into this, it's too dangerous."

"Neither should you, Natasha. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit after getting out of that place," Maria tucked a stray piece of Natasha's hair behind her ear before resting her hand on the redhead's cheek,"I'm sorry you had to go through that and that now you have to go through this."

"Don't be. I did it to myself-"

Maria sighed, closing the folder and placing it down on Natasha's kitchen island,"Don't do that to yourself, Tasha. You don't deserve this no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that you do," Maria wrapped an arm around Natasha's waist,"Let's get some sleep. We can deal with this in the morning."

Natasha's mind was reeling, but she was also exhausted. So damn exhausted. She hated herself for putting Maria in danger. She hated the Red Room for making her into what she was. She hated this whole situation. Just when things were getting good, Ivan had to show up and ruin it all. Typical. She fell asleep quickly, her head resting on Maria's chest and an arm strewn across her waist.

Maria was also tired, and she didn't want to think about it, so she fell asleep soon after her girlfriend did.

Natasha ran down the corridor. She was looking for someone or chasing something. She didn't know which. Maybe it was both. When she got to the end of the hall, she stopped at a steel door. For some reason, her hand trembled as she pushed it open. She screamed, dropping to the floor and collapsing onto the body. Maria's body. Her blood was everywhere.

"Maria. Maria, no. Don't do this to me," a sob escaped her throat,"Maria, please. Please don't die."

Natasha woke up, sitting up in bed and finding that Maria was gone. She rushed out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, finding Maria drinking a glass of water. She rushed to the brunette, staring up at her and examining her. She was okay. Natasha let out a breath, and tears began to fall onto her cheeks.

Maria held her as she began to erupt into sobs. They sat on the kitchen floor as Maria rocked them back and forth, gently moving her hand over Natasha's back and telling her that she was okay.

"Y- you died," Natasha let out,"You died, and I- I couldn't save you."

She started to cry harder. She could still picture Maria's lifeless body on that floor. Her blood all over Natasha's skin. The way her cold, dead hands felt in Natasha's.

"That was only a dream, Tasha. I'm right here. I'm right here, and I'm never leaving. I promise," Maria placed a kiss on Natasha's head, pulling the redhead closer.

When Natasha had finally stopped crying, Maria realized that she had cried herself to sleep. Seeing Natasha like this made her heart hurt. She wanted to take all of the woman's hurt and sadness upon herself just so that Natasha would never have to feel like this again. But she knew she couldn't do that, so being there for Natasha would just have to do.

She picked Natasha up like a child, carrying her back into the bedroom and laying down with her. She stroked Natasha's hair and listened to the smaller woman's breathing. She fell back to sleep eventually, still stroking Natasha's hair, even in her sleep.