Learning to Love - Natasha Romanoff and Maria Hill

Seventeen

*Major TW: Suicide*
One month later.
Natasha was exhausted. She was on a mission that was supposed to last weeks, but it was cut short when the targets all committed mass suicide. There were pictures in her head that she never thought she'd get out. When they found the group, Natasha was the first to walk in. She just stood there. She'd seen a lot of awful shit, but something about this just hit her hard. There were fifty seven men, all hanging from the ceiling. The redhead told everyone to turn around before updating Coulson, and he told them to come home. That was how Natasha ended up back at her quarters. She turned her key in the lock, walking in and discarding her leather jacket and boots.

"Hey," Maria was sitting on the couch drinking straight from a wine bottle,"You're home early."

"Yeah," Natasha ran her fingers through her hair before starting toward the bathroom,"I need to shower."

"When are we going to stop pretending like nothing happened?"

Natasha placed her hand on the wall in front of her, resting her forehead against the wall and bracing herself for an argument,"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do, Natasha. You know exactly what I mean."

"No, I don't," the redhead finally turned around to face the taller woman.

Maria sighed,"Whatever. Act like you're fucking clueless. I don't care, Natasha."

"It kind of seems like you care."

"I just wish we could talk about what happened instead of constantly avoiding it and acting like everything is okay. Nothing is ever fucking okay, Natasha!"

"I- I don't know what you want me to say, Maria."

Maria's sapphire eyes filled with tears,"You can't even tell me you love me."

"I- That's not true."

"Then say it."

Natasha looked around before opening her mouth. Nothing came out.

"Exactly."

"I'm sorry."

"Save it, Natasha."

Natasha's legs were trembling, and she almost fell but caught herself on the kitchen counter.

Maria's eyes softened when she finally looked over at the smaller woman. She walked over to her, gently grabbing her hips and rubbing slow circles over her hipbones.

Natasha was hyperventilating, her shaky hands grabbing onto Maria's forearms.

"Breathe, Tasha. Just breathe. In and out. It's okay."

"I.." Natasha sobbed,"I don't know what's wrong with me."

Maria pulled Natasha into her chest, one arm wrapping around Natasha's waist to keep her steady and the other cradling her head.

Maria shook her head, shushing the other woman,"Shh, baby. Nothing's wrong with you. I'm sorry."

Natasha wrapped her arms around the taller woman, trying to find something tangible to hold onto. Maria picked the small redhead up, carefully holding the woman in her strong arms.

The brunette layed Natasha down in bed, stroking her head gently,"I'm gonna grab you some water and a rag for your head, okay? Do you want warm or cold?"

Natasha took a deep breath in an effort to steady herself,"Cold..please."

"Alright, I'll be right back," Maria squeezed the shorter woman's hand before standing up and heading toward the kitchen,"Don't you go anywhere," she joked, trying to somewhat lighten the mood.