Mother...please Erudite: House of The Matthews (Rewriting)

Darling get over it

Word Count: 5593

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I fell from grace far before my father was buried into the dirt and I didn't even know it. I fell and I can't seem to be able to get back up, especially when my own mother wouldn't even help me - after my father's death she didn't help me with anything besides 'being an excellent example of what an Erudite was supposed to be'. It was a cold move on her behalf but it wasn't as bad as her successful attempt at covering up my father's death and wrapping it up a year after he had passed. I was thirteen at the time - I'm fourteen now but it still doesn't come anywhere near being able to let go of his death - unlike my mother who packed up his things and threw them out as if he never existed. Bet she wished she could do that to me - pack me up and throw me away. 

After my father had passed mother and I began to fight a lot more. All the fights we had were silent ones - ones that resulted and began by ignoring the other and forcing ourselves to forget that the other never existed. The fights would come up randomly, most of the time it was because I did not perform well enough in the public eye, so before I knew it she was giving me the cold shoulder and basically telling me without using her words that she was highly disappointed. I would always lose and come crawling back to her and it always made her grin or even smile. 

She liked that I had no choice but to rely on her because without her I had nowhere to go and without her I had no one. This consistent game for power and control loomed over my shoulders when I was at home and even at school where everyone knew who my mother was and knew me as her smart, intelligent, and always happy daughter. Big reputation to uphold - it is the largest given the fact that Jeanine Matthews was and forever be my mother. 

Unfortunately today was one of those days where I did a poor job on upholding the way of the Matthews's - what Bs. I once again found myself walking home alone. I walked until I found a bench, at this point my feet were dying because the flats I was wearing were basically far too close to the tough concrete. I took them off and began to massage my own feet with far too many books to carry on my own, resting beside me on my right. I was far too stuck in my own worries of my feet to notice a shadow looming over me as I cringed at the pain of my feet. "Are you okay, hon?" A gentle and soft female voice spoke, helping me to reconnect with the reality around me. 

I look up and see a woman with brown hair and eyes, dressed in the color grey. I curse myself for not realizing that I literally decided to sit on a bench just a road-crossing away from Abnegation. I remember my manners and finally decided to say something with the most plastic smile that even barbie would be jealous of. "Yes, ma'am I'm okay" I say ever so sweetly. She returns my smile that was more skeptic than genuine. "I don't mean to be so broad but I would have to say otherwise. I see you are rubbing your feet and you seem to have a lot of things to carry with you, so... would you like a hand?" she asks with a mother-like look in her eyes. I gagged at the thought of taking help from a stiff but it seems that I'm nowhere near home and my arms along with my feet are killing me. 

"Yes, please that would be lovely" I huff, with a defeated look on my face. The woman in grey looked shocked for a second - that tells me that no Erudite has ever accepted the help of an Abnegation member before. She smiles before taking a seat next to me on my left. She extends out her hand. "I'm Natalie Prior and you are?" she smiles, her eyes wrinkling up as she did so. "It's lovely to meet you Miss Prior. I'm Kathrine" I choose to use my first instead of my last name to avoid her from deciding that helping me was not worth it, while shaking her hand. "Well whenever you're ready" she reminds me, whilst I slowly put my shoes back on. I stood up and handed her half of the books I was carrying and took the other half into my arms and off we went.

We walked in silence for a while, after all I couldn't conjure up a decent conversation with how much pain my feet were in. I just swallowed the pain by biting the inside of my cheek while I feel the woman beside me burn holes into the side of my head. "Okay, lets take a small break" she breaks the silence while guiding me to a bench. She forces me to sit before taking the books out of my grip. Before I could say anything she was taking my shoes off for me and deeply massaging where my feet were truly aching. I wanted to pull away and ask her what she was doing, especially because I found it uncomfortable to have a woman I just met touch my feet. But I thought of my father who always even if I didn't ask him to, would always take care of the pain in my feet when I got back home dying after ballet class.