The Deep End ✔️

4 - sloppy

'tis the season of giving
so double update <3
happy holidays!

—

It was the girl from Walmart.

The pretty one, with all the freckles. She told me about how her boyfriend brought her flowers for the first date. Like how her boyfriend did to me. I wonder if he told her about me. If she knew how I made him feel.

I wonder if he painted me like the bad guy.

Her name was Shelby. It suited her. I finished off the shots tray and I felt my eyes struggling to stay open we we all lazed around the living room. Aubrey had long gone to bed and everyone else with kids retired for the night, leaving me, Erick, Phoebe, Carlos, the lesbian girl, Joey, and Dallas and Shelby.

Joey kept trying to talk to me and make moves, but I was 1. way too drunk and 2. way too preoccupied to entertain his advances. I stole long glances at Dallas from across the room, how close he sat to her and how he let her play with his fingers while they engaged in conversation.

How he looked unbothered.

Was I supposed to be unbothered?

"You wanna get out of here?" Joey asked.

I scowled, too drunk not to hide my distaste, and put my hands on my cheeks. "No," I said bitterly, ignoring the disappointed look on his face. I made eye contact with Dallas, the hairs on my arms sticking straight up. He looked at Joey, then back at me, before turning his attention back to Phoebe.

Air. I needed air. I stood up and almost face-planted into the TV stand. I was so sloppy, but I didn't really care.

"You okay, Meek?" Erick asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, uh," I slurred, glancing around at everyone who was watching me carefully. "I'll be right back."

I stumbled out of the room and towards the front door, barely grabbing one of my jackets on the way out. I pulled it on over my sweatshirt as soon as the cold hit my burning cheeks. I definitely overdid it and drank too much. Fuckin' pumpkin pudding shots.

There was a wooden bench on their front porch so I sat there while my head spun and tried to think about the situation. Nothing was making sense, everything was confusing.

At the point of my ass probably stuck frozen to the bench, the door opened. I hoped it was Erick or Carlos, but I knew better. The only person that would and shouldn't come check on me stepped out onto the porch, looking left first before seeing me huddled on the bench, my legs to my chest.

"Thomas," Dallas breathed.

"Hello," I said absently.

He stepped towards me. My eyes followed his every move, tried to calculate what he'd do next. It was hard to distinguish which was fantasy and which was reality. What I wished he'd do next versus what he'd realistically do.

"I didn't think you'd be here," he said after a beat.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why the hell not?"

He sat beside me, not nearly as close as he used to, and definitely not as close as he sat to Shelby. I scooted away pointedly, unsure of why I wanted to be petty, but doing so regardless.

"Well, Phoebe said you didn't show last year, so I just thought maybe you wouldn't," Dallas said, sitting calmly with his hands clasped together in his front pocket.

My heart was throbbing as I looked away. So he only came because he thought I wouldn't be here? He was avoiding me after all this time? I felt sick and willed myself not to throw up. Dallas sighed and said my name, so I looked up.