The Deep End ✔️

15 - under the milky twilight

Dallas got a tattoo. I noticed it as soon as I walked in the downstairs guest room at Erick's place.

Phoebe asked me to help her move the furniture back into place after everyone was gone which was when Dallas excused himself to his room for the night. Aubrey had woken up so Erick volunteered to tuck her back in, leaving me occupied for a solid thirty minutes before I thought it was time to creep into Dallas's room.

But then Erick came back down to lecture me. "Do what you want, Meek, but I think you're both idiots," he said before he sauntered into the kitchen.

I pressed my lips together and glanced at Phoebe for some form of reassurance, but she turned away to busy herself with picking up shreds of wrapping paper off the floor. With a sigh, I followed after Erick with my tail between my legs.

"You're not wrong, okay? I know I shouldn't keep entertaining this, but . . ." I trailed off. But what? I couldn't justify seeing the man behind his girlfriend's back for a second time. "You remember what you said about, uh . . . soul ties, or whatever?"

Erick stopped messing with the dishwasher and turned to face me with curious eyes. "Yes."

I stared down at the granite countertops, tracing along the dark grey lines that lead nowhere. My tongue felt too big for my mouth to say it. I was never good at speaking words, I was much better at writing them. And even then it was iffy. I felt Erick's eyes on me and I faltered even more.

"You know I've never . . ." I started to say, glancing up. "He's just so— Fuck, man, I can't get over him. I thought I was, you know? It's been two years since that summer and that should be enough time to forget your feelings for someone, but—" I buried my hands in my cropped hair, harder to latch onto but still enough so to tug on. "I never will, Erick. I literally never fucking will."

He didn't say anything for a minute. I feared he thought I was a lunatic. Maybe I was. We hooked up for a summer, whoop-de-fucking-doo. I wasn't sure it was means for—dare I say these words, even in my mind?—falling in love with someone. Mom said she fell in love with my dad in ten minutes, but I couldn't believe it. Love took time, it took patience. It didn't take half of a summer and some soul-tying sex.

Did it?

"Meek . . ." Erick mumbled. "You have to decide if how you feel about him and how you think he feels about you is worth breaking that girl's heart. If it is, then you both need to grow up and stop pretending like she's just gonna leave on her own."

I knew this. I knew this.

With a shaky breath, I only nodded. I tugged on my sweater, feeling self-conscious with my feelings out on the counter like this. "Want some hot chocolate?" he asked. I cracked a smile and nodded, taking a seat at the island to wait for my best friend in the whole wide world to make me some hot cocoa.

Eventually, I had a steaming mug in my hands and I was ready to face Dallas.

I held my breath as I knocked on the bedroom door and waited. It opened to reveal a now shirtless blonde in plaid pajama pants that I recognized as Erick's. They were slightly short on his longer legs, the size difference between my former lover and my best friend clear as day. He stepped aside to let me in and I entered slowly. My hands burned from the ceramic mug, steam clouding my vision when I raised it to my lips.

"Is that coffee?" Dallas asked hopefully.

"Hot cocoa," I said with a sheepish smile.

He peered into the mug curiously. "Can I have some?" he asked. I furrowed my eyebrows, but nodded nonetheless. He didn't take the mug from me, only stepped close and held my hands in his to bring it to his mouth. I watched closely as he took a sip of my hot chocolate, the tiniest bit of foamy whipped cream leaving a trace on his top lip before he licked it away.