The Deep End ✔️

9 - ugly

"What?"

"No, no, no," I said, pushing myself up on his chest and looking down at him. "You're not telling her. I . . . This was a one time mistake."

Dallas's head fell back onto the pillow and he closed his eyes, sighing loudly. "What if I don't want it to be a one time mistake?" he asked and I rolled my eyes. "How come you get to decide everything when it comes to us?"

I pulled away from him completely and laid on my side, facing him. We stared at each other for a second and it felt like we were back in Florida, on our homemade King-sized bed, our sun kissed skin bare naked on stark white sheets, our lips swollen and bruised from endless kisses. The feeling gave me shivers.

"You said it yourself. You can't be openly gay—or bi, whatever—in law. You have a chance here to be happy, I promise you. I know it's fun but . . . Me? My shit? That's what's going to end us in the long run anyways," I said, a tear forming in the corner of my eye. "You can't fucking tell her, Dallas. I mean, for God's sake, who even knows you're bisexual besides whoever was at the beach house?"

Dallas met my eyes. "My dad."

Oh, wow.

"Your dad . . ? I thought he was—"

"Yeah, he's incarcerated. I try to visit him around the holidays," he said, his voice a bit nasally. Was he crying, too? "I told him about you."

I felt my eyes widen in surprise. He told his dad, who was in jail for murder, about me. "Was he cool about it?" I asked curiously.

Dallas cracked a smile, though it was only half lit. I might have ruined my chances at seeing his thousand watt smile in full power ever again. Curse my self sabotaging habits. Always taking the little things I loved and crushed it before my very eyes.

"He was very cool about it. I think you'd like him. You actually kind of remind me of him in a weird way," he said and reached up to touch my face. "I don't know what it is. You both have that dry sense of humor that never misses. He was always a bit of one for the dramatics, too."

"I'm dramatic?"

"Yes, Thomas. We've known this."

I scoffed just as his finger traced my bottom lip, cupping my cheek. "I'm not the one who showed up at my mom's house and gave me the choice of you kidnapping me or holding me hostage in my own home."

Dallas laughed. "Oh, please, like you weren't waiting for me to show up."

Yeah, I kinda was.

We went silent for a few minutes. I think the both of us were trying to figure out everything that's happened in the last forty-eight hours and everything that's going to happen for the rest of our lives. The stars were never aligned for us, that much was true. I couldn't see us working out outside of my idealistic fantasies. He just had too much potential to have to deal with me fucking it all up.

"So you're staying the night or do I get a choice?"

Dallas snorted, scooting closer so our bodies were pressed together. "Not this time. I'm staying."

—

I woke up to him leaving. He didn't wake me but I felt the bed move when he got up.

Deciding the goodbye was going to be too hard, I kept my eyes shut every time he looked in my direction, which was always. I listened from my bed while he pulled all of his clothes on, gathered his phone and wallet and keys, and slipped his shoes on. I smelled his scent, that beautiful leathery scent, as he neared closer.