Lay Me Down to Sleep

Chapter 14

This is STUPID. Macau knows he requested they stay at the compound, but if it means they have to have dinner with Uncle Korn every night? Then NO. He doesn't like how tight the smile on P'Pete's face is. He doesn't like how tense Hia looks. It's bad enough that Macau crawls into his lap again. He thinks Hia likes that. Cuddling. He did when he was drugged up and somewhat childlike in the hospital. P'Pete told Macau it likely gave him comfort because Hia has apparently been suffering from emotional abandonment issues for a while. He didn't know how to express that he was depressed and feeling very alone. Hia could have easily said, "Hey, Macau. I am feeling depressed and alone. Can I talk about it?" Macau would have done it in a second! But only the drugs and coming out of a coma got Hia to actually do that. Despite hurting and being depressed over having permanent injuries, Hia seems happier in a lot of ways. Macau thinks being showered with affection and love by him and P'Pete really helped a lot. 

So even before Macau woke up as a toddler, he was set on making sure Hia knew how much they loved him. Now, it's even easier. Macau can sit on his lap whenever he wants! Before, he was too big to do that. It probably would have looked strange and Macau wouldn't have thought about trying. That is the one good thing about becoming this small again. He can cuddle with Hia better. He can also get away with more stuff, even though Hia still makes him do homeschooling so he won't fall behind. But he is more easy to manipulate into breaks. Back when Hia was just tutoring him in trigonometry, they would get frustrated with each other. Now, Macau can start crying and Hia will hold him and let him take more breaks from trig. 

School just doesn't seem like a priority. He gets where Hia is coming from. He doesn't want Macau to have an educational setback if this gets resolved in a month or two. He doesn't want Macau held back a year if they can avoid that, because Macau has never liked school. He likes foreign language classes, creative writing, history, and some of his humanity electives but he HATES math! And science is cool, but it's really hard sometimes! 

Macau starts crying just thinking about it. But that's okay. This was the plan anyway. It's just being triggered by his intrusive thoughts.

"Hey," Hia murmurs, rubbing his back as Macau wails into his shirt, "What's wrong?" 

"I hate math!" Macau cries, "I don't want to do it anymore!" 

"Macau, you aren't doing math," P'Pete reminds him, "We're eating dinner."

Macau turns his head just enough to see Uncle Korn at the head of the table. It feels dangerous to even THINK, but Macau might want to do math for seven hours straight more than sit here with Uncle Korn for seven more minutes.

He hates Uncle Korn! Uncle Korn killed Pa, and Macau didn't even like that guy! But out of the two, Pa was slightly more preferable. Why can't they both be dead? Macau would love that! But instead, he's stuck sitting at this table with his evil uncle, all because he got magically turned into a toddler. Figures. Just when he was getting really close to a girl he's really falling for - one he can talk to in ways he has never felt comfortable enough talking to anyone else - this has to happen. Instead of going to the movies or an arcade with her, he's stuck living in the compound with the man who faked his death and manipulated Hia and Pa, all so he could kill his brother.

He hates this! Even though moving here so he could have friends going through the same thing was his choice.

It makes Macau toss his head back and sob. 

"Sorry," P'Pete says to Uncle Korn gently, "It…It was an eventful day. He didn't get his nap." 

"I DON'T NEED NAPS!" Macau screams as Hia situates him in his arms, making it so Macau is crying into his neck.

"It is fascinating to see," Uncle Korn says over Macau's crying, "Once you get past the confusion and concern this is all causing. Kim is quite prone to tantrums now too-"