Lay Me Down to Sleep

Chapter 11

When someone picks him up off the floor, Kim’s first instinct is to let himself rest his head on their shoulder. He feels as tired as he did when he was dying. Okay, maybe not that tired. It’s a different kind of tiredness. Dying from sepsis is the worst kind of tiredness. The kind of tiredness he feels from staying up for hours to talk with Chay is much better.

At least it is until the person lays him down in some bed and talks.

“You get some rest,” Pa says as he strokes Kim’s hair. 

As soon as Kim’s eyes pop open, his teeth snap out of reflex, but he only gets the cuff of Pa’s pajamas. Pa gives him an unimpressed look and Kim glares right back. Then, he remembers the unfortunate decision he made to protect Namphueng. He has to be nice to Pa. He has to act cute and excited to see him. 

This is terrible. 

Regardless, Kim spits the cuff out of his mouth and lets his eyes get wide. 

“Sorry, Pa,” he lies as he stares up at his unfortunate sperm donor, “You scared me. I didn’t know who you were. I thought I was getting kidnapped again. I’m really, really sorry.”

Pa studies Kim with a calculating gaze. It’s almost comforting, having Pa trying to analyze his actions over being sweet with him. But Kim’s innocent toddler demeanor must work in his favor (and against him) as Pa gets all soft again and strokes his hair. 

This is so annoying. 

“It’s alright,” Pa says gently, “I’m sure that was very frightening. This is why you need protection. I hope now you can see that I’m right about having an around-the-clock guard.”

Kim can’t STAND him!

Stay calm.

“Beam was there,” Kim says tightly, “He was assigned to Chay. I had more protection than usual when it happened.”

“Hm, that is true,” Korn says, “But I would have suggested a team for you. Ones with a higher skill set and more experience. Beam was…Well, he was nice and knew how to make himself scarce. Chay needed someone around, but maximum protection was not necessary for him like it would be for you.”

A growl escapes Kim’s throat as he jumps to his feet before he can control it. He bounces up and down on the bed so he won’t bounce on Pa and rip out his jugular with his teeth. 

“Chay needs the most protection!” Kim tells him, itching to attack Pa, “He needs it more than anyone else! Do you understand? If you even imply…”

Kim trails off again as Pa looks at him, almost seeming amused. That’s when Kim can get with it enough to understand what’s happening. Pa is gaslighting him. He’s trying to get Kim riled up so he’ll seem irrational. Pa does this to Khun. He says things or implies things to make Khun either react or clam up, then does it more and more when he wants to make Tankhun seem crazy. Kim noticed a certain pattern when he was a teenager, but he never put it together until just now. He only understands it when he has experienced it for himself. Khun has been a victim of it for years. They’ve all dealt with some level of it, but Khun has dealt with the brunt of it, especially after the kidnapping. And Kim can see how bad it has gotten again. Maybe it’s just because he’s staying here now, but it suddenly feels like Pa has something to prove. He has a reason to make Tankhun seem crazy again.