Lay Me Down to Sleep

Chapter 17

Tankhun: About to head in your direction. Will try to arrive before Vegas does. See you soon. ❤️

Despite feeling strange about letting someone in on this so soon (especially Vegas, of all people), Arm can only focus on the heart Tankhun sent him. 

So he doesn't regret last night. Good. Arm doesn't either, but he has never gone in for a kiss first, mainly because he has never wanted to really kiss someone until Tankhun. It isn't as though he never thought people were attractive. He did, and he was open to a select few kisses others initiated with him in college. But kissing and everything past that? He doesn't have a great history with it. His orphanage tended to turn a blind eye to investors whose interests were more nefarious than noble. There is a reason they eventually got shut down. 

Arm. Arm is the reason, despite his older foster sister begging him to let them put all of their past behind them. He hadn't judged her. She was abused too. But Arm can't forget stuff like that. When there is a problem - especially one he is particularly bothered by - he can't do anything else but perseverate until he fixes it. 

He expected that to be a huge issue once he watched all the tapes. It was while he was watching them. He may not know Aree, but watching her for hours and knowing at least a little of her situation made him care for her. He wants to know if she is safe now. He wants to reconnect her with her mother and brothers if she isn't and is still alive. He wants to help her and make things a little bit okay for her if they aren't at the moment. 

He wants to fix everything. It's like an impulse. Sometimes, it can be a problem. A flaw. 

But he never wanted to fix Tankhun. He never wanted to change him at all. Korn's comments about his oldest son rubbed him the wrong way as soon as he hired him. And as Arm grew closer to Tankhun, the dislike for Tankhun's father grew as well. Any outbursts from Tankhun were always caused by Korn's words and interference and followed up with calm admonishments disguised as concern. Arm was forced to disguise his resentment as cool professionalism when interacting with the man. 

However, once Arm realized he LIKED Tankhun - more than he probably should - Arm started to hate Korn. Along with his feelings of fondness, attraction, and love for his boss, his feelings of hatred for Korn grew. 

He's hidden it well enough until the last week or so. Being more blunt with Tankhun about his father was probably a risky move. But he couldn't stand the more recent hurt that would appear on Tankhun's face when Korn would make his comments, ones that were becoming ruder than what Arm has witnessed in years. At this point, he has no second thoughts on exposing the man. 

He had second thoughts about kissing Tankhun. At least, he did at first. It was one of the most impulsive things he has done, even though he has done so much worse. But those things didn't make him feel like he might lose something important, meaningful, and huge. His heart felt like it would thump out of his chest when he went in and put his lips over his, but he made the decision completely sober. But when Tankhun reciprocated and the kiss became deeper, he felt drunk. It carried on until he felt light-headed, which was probably aided by the fact they both overstayed their welcome in the hot tub. They immediately went into the aroma therapy room since it was the only room with a couch. Tankhun pushed him onto his back, straddled him, and then it eventually went farther. Not too far. That was when their communication came back in full force. Arm knows Tankhun's history. He wanted to be very careful, especially when they were already moving fast enough. And Tankhun knows his history too, more of it than Arm realized he had known. That became apparent when Tankhun fixated on consent, asked Arm to be honest if he was overstepping a boundary, and demanded that he say a safe word if anything felt overwhelming or frightening. Arm promised him before asking Tankhun do the same.