Dimmed Star: The Queen of Actica

Chapter 5: Giving up

The bitter scorching strong mixed alcohol find itself into her system and blurred everything and she found herself on the dance floor with strangers lost in her world. Instead of forgetting all her agony, her blurry functioning mind brought up what she tried to forget for moments, Flashing the dreadful images of what transpired in few days.

The beating of the musics hard against people ears and heart, the dancing and grinding bodies,the stench of alcohol and sweat in the air all oblivious to Serene,lost in her thoughts only the scorching and boozing feeling of the strong alcohol in her system as the worlds stood still and blurry to her.

Her heart felt too heavy behind her ribcage as it pounds harder and tears stroll down her face in a new wave like a broken tap as her fuzzy brain remind her of her position and status. She has lost everything and is now no one but an outcast and broken self of once her bright beautiful successful actress self.

She subconsciously walk out of the bar dragging her travelling bag along the road deeply immersed and submerged in her deep dark depressed world as her brain continued to remind her of her utter complete loss and loneliness. Reminding her she has no one and nowhere to go.

She has no idea, no plan on how to start living now and where to start from.

Where can she start from when she has no place to go and no one to turn to for help. She lost her parents when she was in her last year of high school and has no relatives.  She has to work herself out to cater for herself and fulfill her dream of becoming an actress, so she has no one to turn to,no family or friends.

And when it comes to how can she start anew when her videos are vitals and all the false accusations released by her ex boyfriend and best friend. So her image has been destroyed and no one will wanna work with her, not even in any kind of business when people will fear associating with her can ruin their business.

Serene continued walking aimlessly along the busy road side till she came to a stand on the bridge looking at the river below. Tears stricken her face like a Halloween makeup, her face hopeless, her eyes soulless and her body a walking corpse.  She has no aim again, no purpose, no place,no one, even if she die now, no one will be affected, no one will care.

She thought looking at the river who serves a purpose shimmering under the star light and she look up to the beautiful and bright stars whose Image can never be tainted and will never dim till it existence serve it purpose and come to an end.

But she, who has no aim and purpose to serve, she whose image is tainted, she, whose light has dimmed, she, a now dimmed star in the movie industry.

She stepped on the railing enclosing the bridge and scoot further climbing it to stand at the top of it gazing down the river with dried teared eyes.

She can't continue, even if she continues to breath she will only exist rather than live. There's no more happiness left for her,no more place for her here. Her heart feels too heavy for her body to hold, it aches so much that feather touches can't soothe it and her eyes too dull to see hope.

She can't fight it anymore and she won't believe anything otherwise as she's too weak to challenge, too weak to dare and too weak to fight anyone or take revenge.

Not everyone is a fighter and she's one of the weak ones,if people see them as weak,then so be it. She give up and can't hold on longer.

Serene closed her eyes and took a deep breath preparing herself for the support of gravity, she pushed herself forward embracing the weightlessness of her body brought by the big villain and she throw herself.

she waited for the feeling of weightlessness but she was harshly pulled back by her right hand wrist and yanked down to the floor and into someone's sturdy arm.