Taking Control

Chapter Three - The Music Begins In MileyWorld

Before you know me, you need to know where my love for music came from and truly why I am who I am today. The first time I ever watched Hannah Montana must have been in 2007. I was still in nursery at the time and I was at my cousin Harriet's house when she was watching it. Me and Harriet were really close growing up and I absolutely idolised her and copied everything she did so it was a no brainer that her favourite TV show was soon to become my favourite TV show. As I was with Harriet watching Hannah Montana for the first time (season 1 episode 3 to be exact, I remember every detail of that life-changing day) a beautiful young teenage girl with the prettiest emerald green eyes, long brunette locks and a slightly gummy yet gorgeous smile appeared on the screen. When I asked where Hannah Montana was Harriet told me that the brunette girl WAS Hannah Montana which I met with much confusion. She quickly filled me in on the plot of the show and I was invested. She lent me her Hannah Montana Pop Star Profile DVD and I watched the entire thing at my house as soon as I got home. This was me gone. I had never felt this way watching a TV show before or listening to music. This was a new level of obsession. From that day forward I became a Smiler and Miley Cyrus was my first ever idol. A lot of girls my age watched the show because it was incredibly popular with our age group but for me it was different from the get go. Right away I was on the run-down computer in my hallway watching hours worth of Miley Cyrus videos on YouTube, visiting the MileyWorld site, reading the most random facts about her and taking quizzes on her. Bare in mind I was literally 4 years old. I had been exposed to the internet from a very young age and my parents would always allow me to use the computer so I developed quicker than everyone else my age when it came to computers. By the time I was 6 I was typing at the speed of a fully developed adult, no joke. Right from the beginning, it was never just Hannah Montana I was interested in but it was the girl behind the wig and I think that is where I differed from a lot of the other kids I knew. It became my whole personality that I was this crazy obsessed Miley Cyrus fangirl and that is something that has never gone away to this day. The first ever CD I owned (minus that nursery rhymes one I was telling you about) was the original Hannah Montana soundtrack which my parents treated me to shortly after my obsession began. I have too many memories with Miley and Hannah to possibly list them all, but I do have some key moments that I would like to share. One of my favourite memories is getting my first ever Hannah Montana wig from Tesco. It was an addiction, once I got my first Hannah wig I was constantly getting Hannah wigs and at one point I even remember getting a Belle wig and pretending it was Miley, then putting the Hannah wig on top of the Miley one. I'm brunette anyway so don't ask me why I thought I needed a Miley wig! My endless Hannah Montana birthday parties were some of the best moments from my childhood. My 5th, 6th, and 7th birthday parties were all completely and utterly Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus themed...as was my 19th! Getting the Breakout CD for my 5th birthday and The Driveway becoming my favourite song is something I still often think about to this day, also me getting the Miles To Go book for my 6th birthday from my sister's girlfriend's 12 year old cousin who I had a huge crush on at the time. Another thing I remember vividly is watching Miley and Mandy's YouTube videos and obsessing over them, they really were a whole cultural reset. How could I forget me mimicking Miley and Jake's relationship from the show by getting a Year 3 boy to give me my first kiss whilst I was in reception? My friend Jess who I had met in reception also loved Hannah Montana and I remember both of us counting down the days to the Hannah Montana The Movie premiere; her grandad actually got us each a pirated copy of the movie before it was even released so I was doing the Hoedown Throwdown whilst y'all were still stuck in 2008 singing Rock Star! Going down to Mansfield to see my grandparents and my mum's side of the family and pretending like I was Miley in the movie going back to Tennessee also became a popular choice of mine, also going on a "date" with my next door neighbour who was 10 at the time whilst I was 6, he for sure had absolutely no idea what was going on. Getting the Can't Be Tamed album on the day of release is something I'll never forget and seeing the TV advert the night before too. I made my first Miley fan account in 2013 when We Can't Stop dropped because I didn't like how much hate she was getting and I always had to be there to defend my girl especially when everyone's parents hated her guts. Being in London on Bangerz release week and seeing a billboard flash up advertising the album, going to take a picture of it and it changing to a washing up liquid advert just before I could take the picture was a devestating moment. Feeling like the only Smiler left in Dead Petz era and listening to the album every lunch time for the first few weeks of Year 7 because I had no friends and then begging my mum to take me to America to see a show of the Milky Milky Milk Tour which she of course refused to do. Mileyworld liking my tweet for the first time in 2022 about the Attention Live album was also a really exciting moment. Every moment I've spent with Miley over the last 15 years has been incredible and I can't even begin to tell her how grateful I am for everything. There is one thing that will forever top everything, however. I've seen my mum's old facebook posts and she tried to get me tickets to the Wonder World Tour in 2009, I begged and pleaded to go the Bangerz Tour in 2014 but money was tight, I tried to persuade her to take me to America for Milky Milky Milk Tour in 2015 and obviously that was never going to happen, I tried to get tickets to One Love Manchester where she was performing in 2017, and sadly nothing ever seemed to fall in to place. That was until 2019 hit and she was announced as the headliner of Radio 1 Big Weekend. The chance of me getting the tickets were slim because the event was so limited and it just was a one in a million chance so I was prepared to miss out on seeing her once again. You can imagine my surprise when I got the tickets. I was in shock, I didn't cry or anything at the time because it just felt so surreal. May 25th 2019 rolls around, the day of the show. We drive over 2 hours to Middlesborough and spend the entire day watching acts before Miley came on in the late evening. I remember her intro started playing and I still felt absolutely no emotions because after this long it just didn't feel like it was ever going to happen. It didn't hit me until the second she walked on stage and I saw her face. There she was. After all of these years of supporting her non stop and idolising her there she was. Miley Cyrus was in front of my eyes. I couldn't scream or anything so I just froze and about 5 seconds after she started singing I burst into tears in such a way I don't think I ever have done before. I couldn't get my breath back properly because I just could not stop crying and I even made my mum cry watching every dream I've ever had come true. It was the most meaningful moment of my entire life and it just makes me wonder what I'd be like if I actually met her. The reason I've written so much about Miley in this book is because she shaped me into the person I am today. She was like a third parent or an older sister, she taught me so many of my morals and how to treat people with kindness. Miley Cyrus is the reason I discovered my true passion for singing and music. She was the first person who made me realise that I could make a career out of doing this for the rest of my life. She is the reason I'm even writing this right now because she continues to inspire me in every possible way. She also led me to my lifelong hyperfixation on pop culture and numerous different celebrities. Literally half of my personality is that I've always been a huge fangirl and if it wasn't for Miley I never would've began my obsession with other singers and actors. She changed so much of my life and the reason I am who I am today is solely because of her so I felt as though it was crucial to give her an entire chapter because without her this whole book would be a completely different story to tell and I sometimes wonder what path I would've gone down if it wasn't for Miley. I wonder if I ever would have discovered my passion for music in some other way. Now I'm not going to give an analysis on every artist who has changed my life because we'd be here forever but I do need to touch on Katy Perry and Ariana Grande. After my Miley obsession began I also fell in love with other Disney Channel shows and their stars including Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. The first time I ever began a hyperfixation with a non-Disney celebrity however was in 2008. I had just started Reception and I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry was just starting to take off. I was hanging out with two older girls who I think were probably in Year 2 and I remember something about them taking a baseball bat from a boy and then we were walking around with it pretending to be police officers. I remember one of the girls started singing I Kissed A Girl and I had heard the song before so I joined in and I don't know what it was but that day sparked an obsession with that song for me. Every time it would play on the radio or MTV my parents would turn it up and I would sing every single word to it. Everyone including the teachers knew I loved that song and I remember once they were playing the radio in the dinner hall at school and when I Kissed A Girl came on, one of the dinner ladies made me stand in front of the entire dinner hall with a banana and sing along to the song so I think that was probably my first experience performing in front of an audience, no joke - this all genuinely happened. Not long after that, Hot N Cold came out and I also became obsessed with this song although not to the same extent as I Kissed A Girl. I have many memories of watching this music video on MTV and seeing her run through the streets in her wedding dress. For my 5th birthday I got the One of The Boys CD (along with Breakout of course) and I soon learned every word to every song on there. Just like I did with Miley, I constantly watched Katy videos on YouTube whether that be performances, interviews, or anything else. She became my other big obsession and she opened the door to a wider range of popstars to me, not just Disney Channel stars. Some of the earliest singers I hyperfixated on in reception of course included Miley, Demi, and Katy but also Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Cheryl, and Tulisa. Those were what I like to call "the first wave of Aiden" because they all shaped me. I continued to love more and more artists as time went on including Jessie J who got me into so much trouble when she came out with Do It Like A Dude, Cher Lloyd - the list is endless. One more person who I do have to mention in more detail though is none other than Ariana Grande. In 2010 this new Nickelodeon show called Victorious came out so I watched it and me being the all-loving 7 year old kid I was, I of course loved it. I formed an obsession with the cast, particuarly Victoria Justice and Ariana Grande. I loved Victoria and did all the typical things a stan would do - watched videos of her, took quizzes, put her on my build-a-bear...the list is endless. Ariana was different though. From the moment I first layed eyes on her she was different and everyone I've ever known can vouch for me. She only had one song in the show at the time so she wasn't even really a singer at this point yet I just loved her so much. I would do the usual: watch her YouTube videos, read facts, take quizzes, try and find dress up games of her on the internet, etc. I remember once she performed a song called Suitcase and I loved it so so so much and to this day I'm still devestated we never heard the studio version of it. I remember the exact day Put Your Hearts Up and there is a post on my mum's facebook back in 2012 begging me to stop playing the song because it was driving her insane. I basically pretended to be Cat Valentine at school every single day for 4 years straight and it drove absolutely everyone insane. I remember her getting signed and releasing the Yours Truly album and being so incredibly proud but also kind of shocked that she was starting to step away from this red-headed, cupcake, pretty pink bows Nickelodeon image. I went into HMV with my dad on the day it was released and when I asked the staff where it was they had no idea who I was even talking about, although they did eventually find it for me. At this point she was still my little secret and I would tweet her every day not really thinking anything of it until she released Problem in 2014 and became absolutley massive. The first time I heard it on the radio I screamed so loud and I could not believe it was real. From then on everything she released that year became huge and I was proud beyond words but also just in disbelief that it was real. It took me a long time to get used to the fact that I had to share her with the world and I still struggle with that to this day. I literally remember thinking I had discovered Ariana Grande which is so funny to think about now but I had literally watch her go from being a background character on a Nickelodeon show to the biggest popstar in the world right in front of my eyes and I was along with her every step of the way so I think I was really truly proud of myself for that. I finally saw her for the first time on the Honeymoon Tour in 2015 and it was one of the best days of my life. I have since seen her two more times - the Dangerous Woman Tour in 2017 and the Sweetener World Tour in 2019. Every time I see her the venue is bigger and the seats are more full and I literally feel like a proud parent watching her although she feels like more of a parent to me. She was literally my whole personality from Year 3 onwards really and I think when I got into about Year 10 I was kind of tired of it because I didn't want people to associate me with her and absolutely nothing else. I'm still working on that insecurity but utlimately I don't care because how amazing is it to have someone who's been by my side for 12 years nonstop and is now the biggest popstar on the planet? I never in a million years could have predicted that but at the same time it's not surprising at all because just look at that woman's incredible talent. The Manchester Arena attack had a huge mental impact on me. I was at the Birmingham show 4 days before but I just as well could have been at the Manchester show, in fact I almost did get tickets to that one and I even dmed Ariana on Instagram saying I'd see her at that show. I think the reason I chose Birmingham was because the venue was smaller so there was a better chance of being closer but I feel like some angel was looking over me. I remember when I first heard the news at about 11pm on the night of May 22nd and I was hysterical for days. How could this happen at my favourite persons show of all people? It was insane and it still makes me sick to my stomach. I can't even imagine how the victims and their families feel and the tremendous amount of trauma, PTSD, grief and loss they will continue to deal with for the rest of their life is unforgiveable. Seeing One Love Manchester live on TV did feel like a light at the end of the tunnel but at the same time seeing Ariana cry her eyes out broke my heart and I even still to this day feel emotional talking about it. I have so many amazing idols who I have looked up to for my entire life and I continue to gain more and more as time goes on, Miley and Ariana will forever be right at the top for me though. They inspire me so much, even my singing voice is kind of like a mixture of Miley, Britney, Tulisa, and Melanie Martinez. I couldn't not make an autobiography without talking about some of these incredible human beings because in order to know me you have to know my connection to them. It was Hannah Montana that made me realise that that was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to be on stage in front of thousands, singing my own bubblegum pop songs, dressed in sparkly outfits. That has been my dream since I was 5 years old and it truly has never changed since then, I've always known exactly who I was.