Taking Control

Chapter Twelve - Back To The Music

As I mentioned, some of this book was written in November 2022 and this chapter is one of them. I don't want to change or alter it as I think it's very interesting to see where my mindset was this time last year, so keep in mind that this chapter a year old when you read it to avoid any confusion. After I left sixth form, I was stuck. I didn't know what I wanted to do. My initial goal was to walk really hard on my TikTok and music until it took off, and get a job in the meantime. After I turned 18 I started applying for jobs but I wasn't successful until April 2022 when I got a job at Tesco which I absolutely hated and frantically quit after one day. It wasn't until August 2022 that I got my second and most recent job working in Morrisons Cafe, which I also hated but way more than Tesco. I knew that I couldn't quit right away because I had already quit Tesco and I didn't want to seem like a quitter. After a little less than a month working at the cafe, I just couldn't do it anymore and I decided that even though I was certain I was done with education forever, I wanted to go to college. I wanted to further my education in music so I quit my job and auditioned for a place on the music course at college. I was so nervous because there was only one place left on the course and I had to sing for my place. Luckily I passed the audition and I was offered a place on the course. My year off was actually one of the most stressful years of my life because I had no idea what I was doing and where my life was going to go. I'm so grateful for every moment though because it led me to college and I'm truly meant to be here. I feel so happy. The people on my course range from 16 to 21 so I fit in great. I am genuinely so interested in every aspect of the course. The music history classes, the music industry classes, the gigs, the recording projects, the whole lot. I'm only 2 months into my course but I already love it and I'm so excited to continue it. I get along well with most of the people on the course and it just couldn't have come at a better time. A few weeks ago, October 18th 2022 to be exact, I had my first gig with college which was actually my first time performing in front of a live audience since 2019, before the pandemic. I was bricking it but I had so much fun up there and I can't wait get back up on stage in a month or so. I'm also working really hard on my music right now. When the pandemic hit I had plans to release an album or EP and at the age of 16 I released my single Sober Of You, originally intended to be the lead single to my project. I quickly grew to dislike the song after putting it out and that was only worsened when people from school kept making fun of it, often coming up to me and repeating the opening lyrics "7am, usually just think of you but it's all different now." After Sober Of You, I scrapped my original project and didn't release anything until 2 years later when I released my single Gossip, in response to Emma's lies. It addresses the whole situation and it is a song I genuinely love and am so proud of. Just one week after the release of Gossip, I finally released my debut album My Side. I am so incredibly proud of every single song on there, they all mean so much to me and address important situations. It was 5 years in the making and it's finally out there. I'm currently working on putting on a My Side show in 2023 so watch out! I am still working so hard on my music and I intend to put so much more out next year, hopefully my second album too. I've also started to work really hard on my TikTok as that seems to be the best and most efficient way for me to build my platform. I turned 19 years old a little less than 2 weeks ago and I'm in a really good place right now and it's all thanks to everything I've ever been through. I'm grateful for it all - the ups, the downs and the in betweens! My dreams are finally starting to come into fruition and I couldn't be happier, it's all finally in my reach and after working at it for 15 years (since the age of 4!), I know exactly what moves I'm going to make to achieve my dreams. I hope that you're reading this in years to come as one of my biggest stans and I'm almost certain that you are, and if that is the case (which it will be) I am so grateful for all of your love and support. I love you more than you will ever know. This book has been so theraputic for me to write and it's brought out all of the emotions. I can't wait to write another book after I've lived more life.Back to writing in October 2023 and wow! How happy I had finally become a year ago? It's so weird that when I wrote that I truly had no idea what was to come. I was so happy at college and I felt like I had finally found my place, which was sort of true for a little while. Working on my debut album My Side throughout 2022 was so much fun and something I had wanted to do for my entire life. I recorded the whole thing on my headphone microphone and I think when you listen to the songs it's very obvious to hear how much I didn't know about mixing! After investing in a recording microphone and being at college for a year however, my songs are getting better and better. I'm learning more about mixing and mastering songs and specifically vocals every day and now having the chance to record them in much better quality is a huge improvement. My second album Fragile Teenage Heart which came out this year sounds a lot better quality wise, mixing wise, vocal wise, and everything else. It still isn't perfect though and I'm well aware. In 2024 I'm focusing on improving my music even more and getting it to sound the quality I want it to, up to par with the rest of the music industry. I'm getting an even better microphone for Christmas, one that they use in actual recording studios. I'm excited to hear where my music will take me in the new year.