MUTE || Gallavich

Six: The Stupid Door

𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘥: 𝘕𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.
𝘈𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦: 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘥.
𝘐𝘯-𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯: 𝘚𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴; 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦.
-

I wake up with a headache. I have to blink a few times to see but my vision is still blurry. I stumble out of bed and fall on the floor, which is covered in empty beer bottles.

"Fuck." I groan, helping myself up and leaving the room.

Mandy is in the kitchen with some guy I can't remember the name of—if I ever knew. "Where's dad?" I ask.

"I don't know. Is something wrong?"

I open the fridge and grab the gallon of milk, chugging it, I respond, "Why does something have to be wrong?"

Mandy rolls her eyes. I set the empty milk on the counter and go into the bathroom. The mirror is still broken and glass is still in the sink. I turn the water on and just let it run. My head is throbbing. I open the medicine cabinet and search for something to alleviate my pain.

There's a knock on the door.

"What?!" I scream.

"Let me in, I need to brush my teeth!" Someone screams back. I can't tell who because of the water running.

I grab a random pill bottle and dump the entire thing in my hands, swallowing it with a handful of faucet water. I close the medicine cabinet, turn off the sink, and try to open the door... but it's stuck.

"Damn it." I sigh, sitting on the toilet.

"Mickey, hurry up!"

I don't even respond. I put my face in my hands and try to calm down. My heart is beating really fast for some reason, my head is still throbbing, and the stupid fucking door is stuck! Maybe God hates me. Maybe I'm cursed. Maybe I deserve the worst because I'm a terrible person.

I don't know what happens next except that I try to stand up, fall, and hit my head on the floor. All I see is black. All I hear is my own breathing and it's so annoying that I stop just so I can get some peace.

It lasts for just a few hours.

-

"He's dead." I hear someone say.

I half-way open my eyes. "What?" I don't even feel myself talking. "Why's it so fucking bright?"

"Mickey?" This is Mandy's voice, but I can't make out her face. She's holding my hand, squeezing it. I pull away and try to sit up but I can't.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Why would you do this? Do you not care about me at all?!" Mandy screams, shocking me. Why is she so mad?

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I open them again and I can see her face; pale, sad, and covered in tears. She resembles myself and I hate that.

"What happened?" I ask, "what's wrong?"

It's silent for too long. Mandy mumbles some things, wipes her eyes, groans, and stands up. "You almost fucking died, you idiot. Is that what you wanted?"

I'm confused.

"Did you try to kill yourself again, Mickey? By taking those pills?"

I'm... I'm at loss for words. Did I? I try to remember. I didn't, right? No. I just wanted my head to stop hurting. Why does it still hurt? Why the fuck does it still hurt?

"You know, you're so selfish. You just don't care about the things you do and how it affects people. I can't see you like this anymore. My life is hard enough." Mandy says. She grabs her bag and then she leaves. Just like the last time.

"Shit." I whisper to myself. I think, maybe I am dead, but I know that I'm not but I'm not exactly alive either. I'm somewhere in-between. I'm somewhere lost and I can't find my way.

I try to sit up again and succeed. I'm in a hospital. Of course I am. I stand up and steady myself. I won't let them take me again—lock me up in that place and force me to get better. This wasn't an attempt. I'm not going to attempt anymore.

I'm going to succeed.

-

Mickey: I'm ready to leave this time.