Heikazuscara -the dead maid-

opinion about this relationship

the three men all had a great time with eachother and they all genuinely had fun
except scara was acting really distant to heizou and kazuha wich was unusual since he was really open to them

today was no different heizou and kazuha got up to make breakfast for the 3 of them, but scara never came down and just layed in bed wich was something he started doing the last couple of days

was scara ok though, they didn't really know what to do, so they just accepted that he was feeling down

after breakfast kazuha went up to see if scara was ok

"hey hun are u alright, i know u haven't been coming to breakfast but this has been going on for about a week now and im worried"

"im fine, u don't have to worry about it maybe im just scared to be married and stuff i don't really know"

"okay, if u say so, but remember u can always talk to us"

so kazuha left scara alone and went back to heizou to see that he had some wedding planning stuff out

"planning already i see, what do u have?"

"mhh, oh yeah just looking at some venues and decorations"

"just a suggestion but what if we make the decorations in the dark blue theme"

"that would be pretty nice i guess but we would have to ask scara what he thinks of it"

"I'll text him... he said its ok"

"mkay what about this venue seems pretty nice isn't it?"

so in the end they started talking about the weeding and what they were gonna have or who to hire and all that stuff

scara was during all this in bed, he really wasn't feeling well about this whole weeding thing like it was all just happening to fast and he couldn't really comprehend it

after all the planning scara got up and also went to both kazuha and heizou to see if he had something against the planning they both other guys made

"everything is fine by me" not that he really cared though

"great, so we've got everything settled, we just gotta find a date to marry"
heizou said

"what about the '8.11' that one is okay" (H)

"but it doesn't have anything meaningful to it and our day has to be perfect" (K)

"right" (H)

"what about the day we all had our first date, what day was it again... the 5.12 ?" (S)

"thats actually a pretty good idea, i like it" (K)

"yeah i agree" (H)

"so everythings settled ?" (S)

"yep" (K)

"im going on a walk" (S)

"im coming with you" (H)

"alone" (S)

"oh, alright, Kaz lets prepare dinner" (H)

"sure, please make sure ur going to be ok on that walk, love you" (K)

"dont worry about me, I'll be fine" (S)

Scaras pov:

so after i put on something casual i went outside to be greeted with the wind blowing in my face, it was a nice and calimng feeling exactly what i needed in this moment

it felt like everything was going to fast, i didn't even think i was going to get married at least thats what i thought as a child and now we are going to get married crazy right?

it was all way to complicated for me to process even if all the planning has already been done, i mean i guess it had already been a pretty long time but it still feels like im only dating kazuha and heizou is like a plus one for kazuha and im only allowing it to happend to make both of them happy

i am not happy about this though

I'd still rather only date kazuha, fuck I'd kill for him but heizou i don't know he's kazuhas fiancé but not mine technically yes but mentally not he isn't what i want for my future

we are going to get married and i don't want to do anything about it since its also kazuhas wedding and i want him to be happy

in the end of all this walking i ended up in a strange park I've never seen before or even the surrounding were not visited by me ever, its a bit creepy its dark and im alone

i was lost, well fuck i don't have my phone, no money, and no way of contacting anybody because there weren't any people i could ask for help

so i guess for the night I'll be wandering around till i get home what a great idea isn't it?

after about 4 hours of wandering i managed to get home to find a passed out heizou and kazuha both drunk, smelly and halfway naked

what a nice thing to see when u walk in thru the front door, fuck i hate it

i got myself some leftover dinner and went up to our room sat at my desk and ate in silence, am i ever going to be loved? i know im supposed to be a lover and i am but why am i not loved the way i love him

god i hate this live, they are so much happier without me, i wish i was dead sometimes well not sometimes but everyday, every hour, every minute, some days are ok but most are just hell to see them act so lovey dovey with each other

while i just exist as their free house maid, since heizou only calls me to come and 'help' clean and in the end im the only one cleaning everything like always

i just wanna kill myself again and not fail like last time its not like they're going to care