Always & Forever

Chapter 11

Hello!

if you've stuck around so far I'm sending hugs and kisses your way! If you're brand new, welcome and hello!! I really hope you like where this is going.

Just to clear up any confusion this is set towards the end of 2006 in Octoberish, the other chapters were all set in Jan-Feb 2006 :)

Happy reading, xx

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Chapter 11

2006 - Lou's POV.

Ever feel something you're not allowed to feel? Or shouldn't feel?

Yup. Not fun at all.

Wishing those shivers, tingles and butterflies didn't mean what you know they mean. Wanting those day dreams and night dreams to not be so alluring. Hoping you don't get caught staring for a little longer then is okay, hoping you don't slip up and say the wrong thing. Keeping your emotions in check so that you don't let any accidentally seep out in conversation or longing looks you're also trying to hide.

So much hard work. All the god damn time. It's exhausting!

We've been friends for months, best friends for almost as long. We've pretty much become inseparable. Texting or talking all the time. Spending countless weekends and week nights together. All our spare time outside of work and school is pretty much spent by each others side.

Teachers at school are so sick of us. Our drama teacher has banned us from pairing up together, and our psych teacher won't even let us sit on the same side of the class room anymore. It's not like we do anything wrong... We just don't shut up. Ever. Okay so maybe we are a little disruptive during class, but in our defence it's not really our fault. I'm not sure whose fault it is exactly, but it's not ours.

We're currently in double psychology. I should be focusing on reaction times and the neurons associated with reaction times, instead I'm day dreaming about Anthony... Again.

I cannot get this stupid boy out of me head. The problem is, he isn't stupid. At all, he's actually really smart even though he doesn't want anyone to know that. He's also really caring and sweet, despite the brooding bad boy I don't care about anyone or anything facade he puts forth. It didn't take me long to see past that facade. Regardless of what he wants people to see, I see just how sweet, caring, smart and amazing he is.

I sound like a love sick school girl... And the worst part is - that's exactly what I am.

I am in love with my best friend.

That's not even the worst part. The worst part is he doesn't even feel the same way about me.

I think I realised about 3 months ago. Every time he smiles at me a heard of butterflies trample around like elephants in the pit of my belly. Leaning on his shoulder makes me happier then is considered normal. The smile that sneaks in without my permission when he calls and texts should have been a giveaway enough, alas no. I am blind to my inner demon who has decided Anthony is a perfect candidate for us to love. I've nicknamed that little voice in the back of my head a demon. Always causing problems and thoughts I should not be having about my best friend.

All of that wasn't what made it Jerry. Nope. Getting stupidly drunk at my 16th birthday because he couldn't make it was what made me realise I was probably in love with Anthony Patterson. I spent most of the night texting him and complaining about the fact that he wasn't there. Then Carleigh bought out the vodka when my mums back was turned. Complaining very quickly turned to crying… very drunk crying. Thank goodness I have good friends. Somewhere along the line before I got too far out of control, Jenn thought it would be a great idea to confiscate my phone and I could not be more thankful! It saved me from a lot of very embarrassing and regretful text messages I know I would have sent to him.