I'll hold you close

Chapter 6

CW: Transphobia

When Levi woke up, Nicky was already gone from the room, and he held onto the warmth that was left from where she had been lying next to him. He remembered the feeling of being pressed against her and smiled to himself. He finally hauled himself out of bed, and got dressed. He found his way to the mess hall, getting a tray of food, and sitting down in front of Sophia.

"You seem happy this morning" she commented. "Or about as happy as anyone gets in here anyways".

"I am" he answered simply.

"Any particular reason?"

"Don't worry about it"

She raised an eyebrow at him. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Nicky at her table, who seemed to be in a good mood this particular morning as well.

"Well, I have some idea" She told him.

He blushed profusely.

"Wh- how could you know?"

"There's somebody else who seems to be in a good mood today too"

Later, as Levi shelved books in the library, Nicky walked in and came up to the other side of the shelf where he was intently focused on finding the right spot for the book in his hand. She moved some books aside to peer through the shelf at him.

"Hey pretty boy" she whispered.

He jumped, having not noticed her until she spoke, but then smiled when he realised who he was looking at.

"Don't scare me like that" he scolded lightly. "What are you doing in here"

"I have to fix a um- uh- a leaky ceiling panel". She stumbled over her words.

"Do you really?" He replied sceptically.

"Definitely. In fact, I was told you would be able to tell me where it is. It's in a, um, secluded and hard to find part of the library. Y'know like where nobody ever goes" She emphasised certain words carefully so he would get the hint.

"Yeah I think I can definitely show you." He replied, smiling, and started to walk down the aisle. He made a few turns and came to a corner full of dusty shelves filled with seemingly ancient books. They sat down on the floor together, automatically lacing their fingers together.

"So why are we really back here?" Levi asked.

Nicky was silent, her face going hot and her ears burning. 

After a moment she said: "I'm just really passionate about-" She paused, grabbing a book off the shelf at random "-'The Lonely Man's Cookbook: Easy Meals for One'" she read the title, joking to dodge the question.

Levi giggled.

"No, Seriously" He persisted.

"I am serious. I've always wanted to make-" she flipped to a page in the middle of the book "- Microwavable casserole in a mug". She said, smiling innocently at him.

"Shut up" He said playfully.

"Make me" She replied.

Levi moved to straddle her lap, and placed a hand on either side of her face. He leaned in and kissed her roughly. She placed the book to the side, her joke now entirely irrelevant to her, and moved one hand to his ass, while the other made its way under his shirt. He pulled away all too quickly and she pouted at him.

"You're not getting out of the question" he told her, still holding her face in his hands.

"Okay fine, I missed you, is that what you wanted to hear?"

He beamed and nodded, kissing her again.

Later, The two walked back to their room side by side. Nicky was no longer concerned with her reputation, she just wanted to be with him all the time. 

When they got there, a CO stood waiting in the doorway. They stopped in front of him creating distance in between one another; nervous because of what they had just been doing.

"Just letting you ladies know you're being assigned tomorrow"

"Hey, he's not a fucking lady and- hold on so we're getting our rooms?" Nicky said.

"Yes, Nichols, and that's a shot for speaking back to me. If she wasn't a woman she wouldn't be here."

Nicky stood seething as the guard walked away, and Levi just slid past her into the room, slumping into his bunk. Nicky walked in and began pacing the room.

"I can't fucking believe he would talk to you like that, I just don't understand-"

She was rambling when she noticed the defeated way Levi was sitting; shoulders slumped, dejectedly staring at the floor.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm so sorry you have to put up with that I just-" Nicky started to say while sitting beside him and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"I don't care about that right now" He cut her off.

"Then what-"

"I don't want to be put in different rooms." He said, his voice breaking and tears welling up in his eyes.

She snapped out of her anger and suddenly remembered why the CO had been there in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. that." She said defeatedly. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face into her shoulder.

"Hey." she said, gently grabbing his chin and lifting him up to look at her.

He stared into her eyes sadly, bottom lip quivering. It hurt Nicky's heart.

"We're both gonna be okay." She told him. "You can make it through this, you don't need me."

"But what if I do need you." he whispered. He was so scared of spending a night alone in this place, with a roommate he didn't know.

Knowing he would have Nicky in his bed each night was keeping him going. He didn't know what he'd do without her warmth.

They stared at each other for a moment before Nicky leaned in and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back, desperately. Finally she pulled away.

"We get one last night together so let's make it a good one, okay?"

He nodded. And leaned his head against her again. She placed a hand on his head and stroked his hair.