I'll hold you close

Chapter 9

TW: abuse

Back in their room, the two lay on the bottom bunk, not wanting to waste a minute away from each other on their last night together. Levi lay on his back, and Nicky lay on his chest. He tangled his fingers in her thick hair.

"God, I can't get over how pretty your moans sounded." She told him.

"Shut up" he replied, getting embarrassed.

"Make me, cutie."

He lifted her chin up, kissing her softly. He was still shaky and tired from how hard she had made him cum, and he didn't have the energy to be more aggressive. She moved herself up so she was more over top of him and deepened the kiss, pinning his hands over his head.

he whined against the kiss, and she took his bottom lip between her teeth, biting down softly. He whined louder.

"See? I told you you sounded pretty."

He blushed harder.

Nicky sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. Levi whined and reached for her, mad that she had created distance between them.

"The guards will be making their rounds soon. I'll be in my bunk until they're done for the night." she told him.

Levi nodded sadly.

She leaned in and kissed his forehead and then climbed into her own bunk.

The other women who had previously been in their room didn't return and Levi assumed they must have been assigned already. He was so grateful for this last night with Nicky. Every time he thought of falling asleep without her his chest hurt.

Finally, Nicky climbed back down into his bunk and snuggled up beside him. She let out a contented sigh.

"Nicky, I'm really scared." He told her.

She was silent for a moment

"Me too." She finally replied.

"You've done this before, how can you be scared?"

It was true, the only reason Nicky had been in the same room as Levi is because she had just gotten out of the SHU.

"This time feels different" she said.

She had navigated this prison on her own for so long and suddenly she didn't know what she'd do sleeping without the ginger boy in her arms. She tightened her arms around him. She accidentally pressed on a bruise and he winced.

"Oh I'm sorry baby" she apologized.

"It's okay."

She adjusted her arms making sure to avoid any other bruises which covered his torso.

"Love, I've been meaning to ask, how did you get all those?"

"I-" he avoided eye contact with her as she stared up at him.

She put a hand on his cheek "you don't have to tell me."

"No it's okay." He said before taking a deep breath.

"My- my mom is really abusive. She was beating the shit out of me one day and I snapped and fought back. I strangled her." He paused for a moment. "As I had my- had my hands around her neck-" His voice broke and he stopped talking mid-sentence.

Nicky pulled him closer. "Baby, you don't have to keep going."

"No-" He said wiping a tear away. "I want to." He took another breath.

"I had my hands around her neck and she was pounding on my back with her fists, and shoving my chest trying to get me off. I just kept yelling "fuck you" in her face, and I- I didn't let go even as I watched her face turn blue. Why didn't I let go?"

He began to cry. Nicky didn't know what to say. She just held him even tighter. He continued speaking after a moment.

 "I guess a neighbour must've heard and called the cops because they showed up at the door and found her passed out on the floor, with bruises on her neck. I told them I was just defending myself but they didn't believe me. They arrested me and that's why I'm here."

Nicky put her hand on his cheek, and wiped a tear from his eye.

"So I guess we've both got mommy issues, huh?" She said after a while. Levi still wouldn't look at her.

"I wanted to tell you, I really did I just-"

He broke down into tears again. She wiped them away and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Does this make you think differently about me?" He asked quietly.

"No baby, I don't see you any different, you did what you had to do."

He finally met her gaze and smiled softly.