Escapism

1

''No,No,No,please don't let me relive this again please I'm just a child''.Waking up drench in sweat from my nightmares has become a regular thing for me from the age of 12 where have to relive the moment I saw my uncle my world died and crash right before my eyes I was also aimed at because I saw it all happen and me being SA at the age of 8.

I was 6 at the time just a couple more months until my birthday I watched as a bunch of police came into my family lot and murdered my uncle for something he did not do that proven two years after he died and it felt like yesterday. But since turning 19 my nightmares has changed now I watch my 6 year old self relive that moment the pain the horror the agony how I watched as they pulled my mom ,grandma and step-father out the yard and left me my cousin and my uncles girlfriend at the time in another room with his friend.

But I was so hell bent on going to my mother because she was hurt and  I needed her for my safety to feel safe and to see if she was ok but as  soon as I open the door I watch how they shot him in his knees first so he couldn't run and he was begging for his life saying they got the wrong person but they didn't care and ended him like he was nothing in the most cruel way ever.

I can remember every detail about how it happend and how I was also almost killed by one of the police officers  who saw me  and realised that I saw everything and he took a shot at me. I was in too much shock to move and my uncle friend was the one who pulled me out the way from the bullet and from then on I became the introverted fun and happy girl everyone knew but I douth they know how broken I am and since I'm awake now no point in going back to sleep right. I checked my phone to see they time and it was 3:30am ''Just great now I'm gonna be up with nothing to do other than read a book or watch K-dramas/Bl dramas and I have school at 9''.

I don't sleep most times until 5:30 in the morning I stay up to get away from my nightmares by reading and listening to music they took me places where I was the most of myself  a happy girl with the perfect life no nightmares no mental health problems nothing just me and someone who loves me. There is the place I always  wish to ecaspe to when it's too much for me away from reakity but that's just a dream.

The place it's like home just where there is just  me the trees then night sky the wind in my hair and how calm I am in this place and I sometimes wish to find my love intrest that place but it's a world I could only dream of where I'm free to be me to dance and sing with the animals under the  moon in the night sky.

I liked anything that has to with the moon I mean isn't she just fasanating she uses her loves light to shine so bright in the dark sky and he asked for nothing more than to meet every 1 or 2 years to creat an eclipse to prove their love for one another as one the sun and the moon lver for eternity.