Escapism

4

It's been like two days now that I haven't talked to Grace and I miss her i'm just upset she didn't come to me first like it's my secret to tell and she just went and told Cj and now i'm thinking to myself am I being too petty and childish I guess she just needed the help to keep me grounded and told him. I wonder is he nice to me out of pitty or is he nice to me because he want's maybe Grace is begging him to be nice to me, yes as you can guess i'm an overthinker I do this alot when i'm alone or I feel like I messed things up or just being a stuck up bitch like it's fine that Cj knows.

I look at my phone to see the time and I noticed it's 2:00 in the morning and all this overthinking is giving me a serious headache but I could just watch a movie or anime to stay awake, lucky for me i'm all alone in my dorm and i'm scared to fall asleep. I miss Grace and I need to talk to her and tell her how I feel about the whole situation but in the mean time lets watch Blacklist because I only have afternoon classes tomarrow.

'' Please don't hurt her get off her you fucking monster she's just a child this is wrong you can't touch a child like that you molester'' I was screaming at that old bastard to get of my younger self tonight I just had to have a nightmare about this why why I don't wanna see this me sick that that thing of a man fourcing is way on me'' Stop just stop i'm just a child this is wrong fight him I know we are sick but fight him off please'' I was screaming bloody murder at the man I wanted to help but I cant move it's like i'm in a box watching all those memories replay over and over again and I don't know how much longer i keep reliving these memories.

'' Princess wake up it's just a dream wake up princess'' I know that voice it was Cj but why what was he doing in my head I just need to find him and ask for help maybe he can help me ''Cj is that you if it's you help me help me please'' no answer '' No No No Noooooo'' I was screaming i'm awake i'm up and I was crying I hate having that nightmare if I had to pick just one of my nightmares to relive I would pick to watch my uncle die right in front of me of this.

'' Princess are you a wake Grace is on her way from the store ok'' wait Cj was here damn it he saw me didn't he god I hate this '' how long have you been here did I say anything out loud'' he looked at me and then looked away so I guess i said something out loucd I shouln't, '' is she awake Selena are you ok'' it was Grace and she was panting like she was running was she running to come back for me or for Cj because he was here. I sighed '' i'm fine just a bad dream''  ''all that screaming was just from a bad dream princess you said something you know'' damn I need to know what I said because from the looks of it and how Cj was as pale as a ghost I said something real bad out loud and I just needed to hide for the rest of my life guess I am about to tell Cj my life story just motherfucking great.