Escapism

2

'' Selena are you awake babe'' and thats my roommate Grace she's a sweet girl always helps me to fall asleep when she hears me screaming myself awake because of my nightmares and she was so helpful she helped me alot when social anxiety also kicks in around alot of people. We became besties the moment we walked in the same dorm room she was so nice to me when we meat '' yeah I have been awake since 3:30 this morning'' damn I shouldn't have said that here comes the lecture ''What are you crazy why didn't you come and call me you know I would put you to bed and before you say.

(I didn't want to wake you) you better think carfully or Imma slap the shit outta you. Have you forgotten what I said I bet you didn't but it looks like so here let me tell you again ( NO MATTER WHERE I AM OR WHAT I'M DOING CALL OR WAKE ME TO BE WITH YOU GOT IT) I mean i get what she is saying but I don't wanna be a burden to her and her boyfriend he's also a friend of mine even tho we don't talk much he's good for my friend and he also stand up for me infront of these horny dogs called boys.

''Hey i'm sorry you looked extremy exhausted last night so I did what I had to now let's get ready for class because we only have an hour to get ready and I don't wanna be late'' that was what I had to use to get away from her I mean I know she means well but sometimes she it the reason I'm vulnerable she makes me want to depend on her and I can't do that I have to be a big girl and depend on myself. I always had no-one but myself mom didn't get me any  proper help when I witness what happend she just sent me away the next year when I turned 7 and would start grade 3 there at my step-father parent's house in another state about 5 hours drive from my home and her. I was ok there for the first three months because my step-sister was there and mom came to vist and stayed with me every weekend, but then thigs changed I had to wash my own clothes and my step-dad father started touching me at the time I didn't know it was wrong and he said he loved me and i was he favorite grandchild.

Until on day I was sick and home in my pj's just me and him and I woke up to him forcing his dick in me I was weak and sick so i couldn't get away and it just happened I didn't know it was wrong for a man in his 50's to do that to a 8 year old  girl or anyone in fact because I hadn't learnt abot SA as yet all we only knew about bad touch and good touch. My mom came to visit and saw me washing my own clothes and was mad because who would give a 8 year old their own clothes to wash and my mom took me back and I was finally ok I didn't tell her about what happened and I still haven't my mom changed my school again and I had travel alone on an 1 hour bus ride alone for school far away from home at the age of 8 going 9 in a month all alone.''Hey you ready Chris is outside waiting for us so let go and are you ok you look a little pale'' I love how she cares about me '' Yes i'm good lets go before Cj goes bat shit crazy''.