Bird of Paradise • taekook

Twenty

South of the affluent Californian towns of Carmel and Monterey, there's a vast natural reserve called Point Lobos. It consists of hundreds of acres of jagged coastlines, with sharp rocks that would cut through Taehyung's flip flops as he scrambled around as a teenager. Monterey cypress is in abundance here, being one of the species that can take roots amongst the rocks, and survive the occasionally violent wind gust by contorting its branches and submitting to the temperamental weather.

Taehyung parks his rental car and heads down on one of the longer trails that meanders along the coastline. It's an early February morning, a thin mist drapes over the landscape, the icy dampness palpable and cutting into his exposed skin. There's not another soul on the trail, and the crashing waves and seagulls gawking are similar to Maui, yet different, seeped in coldness and uncertainty.

Victoria has always loved the outdoors. Wandering off trails, bonfire with friends, scrambling up some rocky slope just to see if they could. She's always had a worn out book with dried plants or bird feathers tucked between the pages, and a pocket of strange rocks to show her geologist dad. "Look! See the whales in the far distance over there? They came early this year." She would nudge Taehyung hard and knock his earbuds out intentionally. Taehyung would smile and listen, trying to follow her meandering conversation that would move from whale migration schedule to storm forecast to psychological effect of rain on voting outcome, and wonder how a brain can simply contain so much... exuberant curiosity for every tiny detail in life.

Taehyung thinks, as the trail dips and curves amongst withered bushes and rich black soil, of how he's always followed Victoria along in one way or another, ever since the first day she smiled at him warmly on the playground and grabbed his hand, when no other kid could crack his introverted exterior. She made her friends acknowledge him, got him his first part time job at a coffee shop where he was too shy to say hi, and showed him the beauty and power of coding.

The thoughts clench at his heart painfully, Taehyung tightens his jean jacket against the cold draft, and keeps walking. Over the past month, he's been traveling all around California, visiting places that Victoria and him grew up in. Bleachers at the Monterey high school sports field, neighborhood playground with the creaky swings that scent his hands with rust, the harbor arcade with the forever broken Spider-Man pinball machine. He took his time, searching not only for clues, but also residual memories, each too precious to be forgotten. Sometimes, late at night, alone in yet another grimy motel room, a voice would creep into his thoughts, targeting at his loneliness: give up already, go back to Maui, to the endless sun, there's no shame in hiding, she doesn't want to be found, not by you anyways, a traitor.

Taehyung scoffs at the thought, kicking up the dusty soil on the trail. No, he doesn't deserve Jungkook yet, doesn't deserve the warmth of the island that embraced his weary bones and calmed his frazzled thoughts. It's a little easier to face his resolve in daylight: peace of mind is not a wishful thought, atonement for what he's done, what they've all done needs to be earned.

He focuses on the trail at hand instead, one step at a time, crossing a few makeshift wooden bridges, hiking through a section lined with dense oaks, then the space opens up in front of him, vast and mysteriously veiled by the mist in parts. A seagull flies above him nearby, swerving and gliding in the wind, beckoning for him to come closer to the perilous cliff.

A branch in the trail appears, flanked by two windswept cypress just as he remembers, like crooked sentinels guarding the past. Taehyung follows the smaller trail and starts to descend towards the jagged coastline. In front him, he sees the familiar view of Headland Cove, a pebble beach hidden amongst tree branches and protruding black rocks. The water is too shallow for swimming, and the trail is overgrown with thorny bushes, but Victoria loved this spot for it was hidden away from public view, loved staring at the water for hours at end in the summer, when the foamy waves were in shades of bright jade and glimmering turquoise.

Taehyung steps on to the beach. He inhales deeply, unsure if the scents of the past still lingers in the air or only on his mind. The burnt wood of bonfire, sticky sweet of marshmallow and graham crackers, cheap PBR beer mixed with laughters. Taehyung allows himself a moment to dwell in the past, and then, he steadies his thoughts to scan around the perimeter of the cove, and goes to work. He flipped over all the boulders on the beach, checking the soil underneath. Then the bushes away from the water, walking through them carefully for any object left behind. He even takes his shoes off and wades through the shallow water, looking for unique features or rocks with marks on them.

When nothing yielded anything of interest, Taehyung makes his way towards the usual bonfire spot half way down the beach. A ring of rocks borders the cold amber. He turns over the burnt residual at the center, and prods the blackened soil with the small garden shovel from his backpack. Still nothing.

Taehyung stands up, and wipes away the thin layer of sweat on his face. The hollowness within him expands again, threatening to numb his thoughts. His effort suddenly seems futile, absurd even. Taehyung throws the small shovel onto the ground with a frustrated grunt.

And that's when he spots it in the corner of his eye, a small glint in the graveled ground where the shovel has fallen, feeble but glimmering. He steps closer, and stares at the spot for a long time, before picking up the shovel again to start digging. With each shovel, the object is unearthed in front of him, making his heartbeat quickened. When he is finally able to pick it up and hold in his hand, a sudden rush of dizziness overcomes him, making the moment feel surreal.

Taehyung knows instantaneously that this is what he's been looking for. A weathered glass bottle, just like the digital photo Loey has found online with hidden data. A black waterproof seal covers the metal lid, it takes Taehyung some effort to tear it off and open the lid. Within the bottle, there are two items.

Taehyung sits down on the beach, holding the bottle gently in his hand like it's the most precious thing on earth. The misty wind kisses his skin as he pulls out the first item in the bottle. It's a USB stick wrapped in waterproof wrapping. Taehyung stares at it for a beat, contemplative, before shifting his focus to the second item, a small piece of paper with torn edges. His hands tremble as he retracts the paper to read the words written on it in black ink:

The whole is greater than the

The handwriting is hast but familiar, full of the little flourishes that she loves. Taehyung reads it over and over, letting the overwhelming emotion well up like a spring coursing through his veins. Relief, that makes him slump into the ground and finally exhale out loud.

He remembers, of the worryfree days before all this, even before lulzsec, Victoria's eyes beaming with excitement, explaining the first codes she ever wrote while collaborating with others in a white hat hacking group, "you don't understand, it's like- it's like breaking down your thoughts in a different language, and having others understand them, improvising upon them to create a whole new world. A world where we define the rules, one logic at a time. Because that's how humans were always meant to be, no? Not just as individuals, but as a part of a collective whole that goes way beyond our own fears and insecurities. A great whole with infinite capabilities."

Sometimes, Taehyung feels he's never truly understood Victoria, the optimism, the beliefs in these lofty dreams for greatness, all the impossible highs and low lows. But he wanted to, it was nice to look towards a shining beacon as the world descended around them into chaos. But eventually, he would have to find a path of his own.

Taehyung thumbs at his finger subconsciously, rubbing the phantom ring that he's left on the island. He can almost see it, the vibrant blue and red of the bird of paradise flowers behind the lonely little house on the beach, hardy against the relentless ocean wind. The memory chases away the gloomy mist, lingers on his mind the whole hike back to the parking lot.