Wretched || H. Lecter

} CHAPTER ONE {

} CHAPTER ONE {

I could feel my heartbeat pounding against my eardrums as I waited patiently in this bright cream-coloured waiting room.

The view of similar-styled buildings outside the singular window adjacent to where I was sitting did nothing to cure the nervousness that seeped into my skin, binding with bone. My leg bounced up and down rhythmically and my breathing slowly became more laboured as the minutes went by. I attempted to distract myself by scanning the empty room I was seated in, eyes locked on the closed brown door I would soon be entering and the large silver plaque that clung to the wall with the words 'Dr Alana Bloom's Office' engraved neatly across the front.

This wasn't the first time I had been here, but I still didn't enjoy these weekly meetings as they made me anxious, which manifested through my shaky hands and restless legs. However, I was grateful for the opportunity to attend them because the alternative was too much to think about, but it got infuriatingly repetitive after a while.

"Miss Addams?" A feminine voice called out, dragging my attention towards the now-open door I had been staring at. In the doorway stood a slender, dark-haired woman with eyes to match. She wore a green blouse, a black skirt, and similar green heels. I just nodded in recognition as I got up to follow her inside and she closed the door quickly behind me.

"Please take a seat and we shall begin our session." Her voice was calm and professional as she gestured to one of the black comfy armchairs in the centre of the large office. I did as she said without question, sinking into the chair with little energy. "How have you been since the last time we spoke?"

"Okay, just tired I guess." My small voice contrasted drastically with her confident one and I tugged my hoodie tighter around myself at the sound of it.

"And what of your nightmares?" My breath caught in my throat at her question, forcing me to cough at the sensation. She didn't seem to notice my discomfort as she sat down opposite me or just didn't care, either way, I felt slightly cornered.

"They... they are still prominent," I admitted, turning my face away from her curious eyes, in an attempt to hide from the question bubbling on her tongue.

"Are they still about your father?" Her gaze softened as I flinched harshly at her words. I didn't answer, merely keeping my eyes trained on the slight scuff marks on the wooden floor from where her chair had been moved back and forth. She took that as an answer, scribbling some words down on her little white notepad with pity embedded in her features.

She was always so easy to read, and it infuriated me.

Her expression made me feel more like shit than before. Her pity seeped across the room towards me, washing over me and leaving only self-hatred in its wake.

Then after a few moments she took my silence as a sign that I had no intention of answering that question and her pity was replaced with annoyance as she huffed at my lack of a response.

"What about your mother? Do you think of her?" Her voice tested, almost as if she was trying to use my emotions to spark an answer. As her words reached my ears, I slowly brought my eyes up to stare at the, no doubt expensive, diamond necklace that held a small forest green crystal in the middle, tightly wrapped around her smooth neck. I once again kept quiet, not liking the topic of our latest conversation.

Her face then grew flushed with dissatisfaction as she slapped her notebook and pen down on the arm of her chair."Look, Miss Addams... I can not help you if you do not talk to me. My job here is to ease your pain and that will never be achievable if you continue this method of keeping me in the dark." Fresh, warm tears filled my eyes at her scoldings, leaving a stinging sensation as they watered. I shrank even further into my chair as my eyes dropped to the floor once more. "You do this every session... You shut down at the mere mention of your parents. How do you expect to move past this when you refuse to face what happened-?" Her voice resonated through the office before she was cut off by her own rational thinking.