Emotionless |seongjoong|

*4*

Seonghwa:

I woke up to the feeling of warmth. It was something I'd never felt before. And it gave me such comfort that I didn't want to move away. It felt so good snuggling to that unknown source of comfort. But at some point, I felt more awake and realized what situation I was in. I was snuggling with someone. Once I opened my eyes, I saw everything unfolding in front of me. I lay half-naked next to Kim Hongjoong. He was wearing only his underwear and cuddled me. We were so close that I could smell the scent of his shampoo and body soap. It was so nice! And his sleeping face too. Goddammit! His sleeping face was angelic. I could almost see the bright hallo around his head. But no matter how good it was, I had to pull myself together.

I tried my best to remember what had happened last night. We had dinner together, drank some beer and chatted about random things. But then what? I couldn't remember anything after that. Not even a single thing. It was burdening me, not knowing what had happened.

"Morning babe," Hongjoong said in that sleepy voice. So hot. Wait! Babe?! What had happened after my memory had given up? "Your eyes are still a little swollen," he commented, touching my puffy face. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes," I responded shyly. What the hell had happened?

"Then go back to sleep. It's too early," Hongjoong murmured, pulling me back into his warm embarrassment.

He fell asleep quickly, but how could I sleep when I knew nothing? There were a lot of weird things that couldn't be explained. Like Hongjoong's lovey-dovey behaviour. And he called me 'babe' out of nowhere. Not to mention being half-naked and cuddling in his bed. Did we, by any chance, hook up last night? But my body was fine. Only my eyes felt a little swollen. Maybe I cried, and he took pity on me. But that didn't explain the rest. There were so many unknown things. My mind was on the verge of overload.

...

"To sum it up, I confessed to you last night, you accepted my confession, and now we are dating?" I asked.

"Basically," Hongjoong said.

Hongjoong kindly explained everything once we were fully awake. We were drinking coffee together by now. Even if we were awake, he kept his outfit only to his underwear. That man didn't even realize how dangerous he was. I tried to avoid looking at him as much as possible. Otherwise, I could die on the spot. Yet, he wanted to end me. Hongjoong sat next to me, leaning closer. I could feel the touch of his hand on my forehead.

"Huh, you don't have a fever," he stated. "Your face is a little red."

"I-I am okay," I stuttered.

I felt so awkward and embarrassed after learning everything. If the ground could open up and take me whole. But on the other side, I had a crush on him, for so long, and now he was my boyfriend. At that moment, all of my worries turned into excitement. I felt on could nine. I had to tell my friends.

"Do you want to go on a date?" I asked as soon as I realized the benefits.

"Today?" Hongjoong asked a little puzzeled. "Sure."

After that, we agreed to meet in front of the cinema at 13:30 (1:30 pm). Just enough time for me to return home and prepare for our date. After that, we put on some clothes, and he sent me to the parking lot. There, San was waiting for me. My bestie agreed to pick me up since he was in the area. On our ride back to my place, we gossiped some. He asked me a lot of stuff. After all, he was the overly protective best friend. And his reaction was priceless when I told him, that I got myself a boyfriend. At first, San was shocked, but then he became suspicious. And in the end, he told me to have fun and tell him right away, if something was wrong. He was a good friend.

...

I stood in front of the cinema, waiting for Hongjoong. To be honest, I went there a little earlier, but I couldn't wait. I was finally having a date with Hongjoong. After such a long wait, I was finally going out with my crush. My feelings were more than excitement. It felt like the best day of my life. So, I stood there, waiting for him, my boyfriend. It was still a little strange to call him my boyfriend, but I could get used to it rather quickly.

The clock had hit the last minute. It was 13:30. That was when I saw him, coming through the crowd. Hongjoong was stunning. There was a strong glow surrounding him as he came my way. Everything about that man was incredible. To the point that I barely missed the gift bag in his hand. Or that his other hand was behind his back. But once standing in front of me, he gave me a gift bag full of chocolates and a flower bouquet. That was so sweet of him. My face was heating up, and I could feel tears of joy burning my eyes. But I had to hold them back. It wasn't the place to cry. Even if it was joy tears.

"I hope you like it," he smiled brighter than any prince charming.

"Thank you!" I responded, giving him a quick hug.

After that, we went inside the cinema. I couldn't even look Hongjoong in the eyes out of embarrassment. But he didn't seem to bother. Instead, he tried to hold my hand, yet I tried to pull away. There were so many people, instead, we were holding by our pinky fingers. It felt like a dream. As if we were the lead actors in a movie. We walked like that up to the tickets, and Joong asked me what movies I wanted to watch. He even left me to choose the movie.

Well, I had researched the movies for today and had one good in mind. It was a movie about a group of people who lived in an emotionless world and tried to fight against it. The movie followed their story of rebellion against the system. They fight to bring back emotions to the grey world. It was the only movie that got my eye since the rest were horror movies, and I was too scared of them. Even, tho I had no idea what genre Hongjoong liked, I hoped that, he would like it. To my surprise, he agreed to it with a smile.

I chose the movie, Hongjoong chose the seats, and we went for it. To my surprise, he chose our seats to be at the very back of the hall. That made me nervous. Back seats were usually for horny couples that wanted to do more than watch a movie. The thought of it made my heart fasten its beat. It was ready to escape from my body. I could hear my heartbeat banding in my ears. For a moment, I got afraid that Hongjoong could hear it. But he didn't notice it. Instead, he took my hand in his, kissed it and then turned to watch the movie.

I couldn't concentrate on the movie at all. Not with the man of my dreams next to me. I was secretly stealing glances at Hongjoong. His face was unreadable. No emotion was showing on it, his eyes coldly glued on the screen. So that was Hongjoong's concentrated face. Or he didn't like the movie. Did he pretend to like my choice because I picked it up? He was so sweet. I leaned my head on his shoulder. The rest of the movie passed by just like that.

...

After the movie, Hongjoong asked me out for a walk and offered to drive me home. But that was too much to ask from him. So he sent me to my bus stop. We sat there waiting for my bus. Hongjoong took my hand once again, and we listened to some music together. That was the best date of my life. I felt like kissing him, but people were passing by.

Hongjoong:

I sent Seonghwa off to the bus. I waited for the bus to depart. After all, Seonghwa was watching me from the other side of the window. That was a long day. I had no idea that dating someone would be that tiresome. Well, Seonghwa seemed happy, at least. And Yunho's advice was helpful. Gifts were a good choice, judging by Hwa's reaction. But the whole thing had a toll on me. I felt so tired after just one date with him. I've never felt that tired of spending time with someone. I had to use more effort with him compared to anyone else. It was a waste of my energy.

On my ride back, I was thinking about a possible solution. The best one was breaking up with Seonghwa. I decided to leave Seonghwa to have some fun dating me for a little longer. Then break up with him. After all, no one could stay happy by dating someone like me. Someone emotionless and cold. Someone who couldn't return his feelings. Who couldn't make him happy in the long run... I wasn't the one for him. I was simply an emotionless waste of space. Waste of his time.

A/n:
Chapters will be uploaded once a week. The day of upload is going to depend on my hectic work schedule. I'll try my best to keep it between Tuesday and Thursday time frame. Please be patient with it.
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