Emotionless |seongjoong|

*10*

Hongjoong:

I was alone in my apartment, trying to do my side job. Yet, I couldn't. On my mind was seonghwa. I still had no answer as to why Hwa had such an impact on my dreams. My mind couldn't handle it. So far, no one else could get inside of my nightmares. Not to mention, that he was able to bring light and colour into my darkness. Why? How? I couldn't understand it, and it bothered me. Because when I was with him, my body behaved strangely. My face was heating a lot, my stomach acted weird, and I shared things I would never have told anyone.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I barely noticed my phone buzzing. Once I picked it up, I saw a message from an unknown person. At first, I was going to dismiss it, but for some reason, I decided to check it up. It was a message from one of my high school classmates. She texted me, asking if I wanted to join everyone for a high school reunion. It was happening the very same night. In her text, she spoke enthusiastically. Well, I didn't plan to attend it. Or so I thought at first. But for some reason, I decided to accept her invitation. Maybe if I went there, I could find answers about my situation with Seonghwa. After so many years, my classmates have probably changed and matured. Everyone changes with time, except me.

After I confirmed my attendance, I texted Seonghwa to warn him. I had to cancel my home date with him. When Hwa learned the reason, he tried to change my mind. But I argued with him. We had a fight, during which Seonghwa attempted to call me. Yet, I didn't pick up his calls. I put my phone on silent mode and prepared for a night out. Being around people would be annoying, but I wanted some answers.

...

The reunion was at a small pub. It was close to the main bus stop. I knew what that meant. They were getting wasted. Even as I walked inside, I could smell the heavy scent of booze and hear the cheerful voices. And that was what I saw. A bunch of drunk, happy people. When I walked inside, a tiny girl came to me, holding a bunch of name tags in her hands. She was smiling at me, her rosy red cheeks standing out the most.

"Hello! What's your name?" She asked me, looking at the name tags in her hands.

"Kim Hongjoong," I responded.

The moment I said my name, a good part of people looked my way. The room filled up with a tense, chaotic whisper. And the girl in front of me watched me wide-eyed. She gave me a name tag and then showed me an empty spot. I went there, taking a seat next to a nerdy-looking guy. Honestly, I couldn't recognize anyone over there because, in my dreams, they were all faceless.

"Soo, Hongjoong-ssi, how have you been?" Someone asked me. They were trying to break the ice.

"I'm just fine. What about you?" I kept the small talk going.

So far, the night had started peacefully. We were eating, drinking and having a small talk. I managed to skip most of the talking. In my dreams, those people were faceless monsters. Yet, meeting them and seeing them in a different light made me question my memories. Were they really that cruel to me? Or did my memories have twisted into darker ones? Maybe my imagination had added up to the actual memories. All of them were normal people who had gathered to drink and have fun. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me?

Or maybe not. As the time had passed, they got louder and rowdier. Soon, one of them stood up to speak. He could barely stand up on his feet and keep his balance. He had cleared his throat. Everyone cheered him. We all looked at him, waiting to hear what he wanted to say.

"Thanks for coming, everyone!" he said, looking around the room. "I didn't expect to see you all here. I know, that some of you left work to come here, some of you came here even if you guys have enlisted. Thanks for making time and joining us. But the most surprising arrival, the one didn't expect to see, is... it's that fucking freak Kim Hongjoong," he said, pointing at me. "Ya, Hongjoong, are you still such a weirdo? Damn, you were so much fun back in the day. Messing with you made our schooldays a lot funnier." the guy said, laughing maniacally. He walked closer to me. Then he took my drink and poured it on me.

I could feel all of them staring at me. Their laughs were echoing inside my head. That guy spoke some more, mocking me. But I couldn't hear his words. The only thing I could hear were their laughs. They were so loud. They were all around me. It made me freeze on the spot. It was bad. I couldn't do anything. Out of nowhere, I got grabbed by the collar. It was the same guy who mocked me. He then punched me, yelling something I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear any word he spoke. Instead, I managed to get out of my frozen state, and I fought back. The people around us just stayed by and watched us as we fought. I was only trying to survive. I fought my way out of the place. Some people joined us, and I used the chaos to sneak out. Once outside, I called a cab and told him my address. I needed to get home.

...

Back at my apartment, I stumbled on my way to the living room. I was too weak to go further. My lungs felt suffocated. I couldn't breathe. Hot tears fell down my face. My whole body was in suffocating pain. I was choking on my bodily fluids. 'I'm going to die! This is the end for me.' I thought as I lay on the floor. But the suffering continued. I spent an eternity in that state.

My phone started ringing when I was about to give up on my life. Seonghwa was calling me desperately. With the very little control I had left, I picked up the phone. On the other side, I heard his worried voice calling my name.

"Where are you? Are you okay?" Hwa blurted out the moment I picked up his call.

"Seong... Hwa..." I mumbled. "I... need... you."

"What's wrong?! Where are you?"

"Home... please... Seonghwa."

"I'm coming!" Hwa said as I heard his rushed steps in the background.

His voice and the sound of his steps helped to distract me. And soon, I heard a loud banging on my door. With my last remaining strength, I crawled to the front door and opened it for him. When he saw me on the floor Seonghwa picked me up in his warm hug. Hwa tried to sing me our song in the calmest voice he could keep. But it was useless. Then, he tried to help me breathe slower, yet I couldn't manage it. Nothing was helping me calm down.

Seonghwa then did the most unexpected thing. He took my face in his hands and kissed me. It wasn't the usual soft kiss. It was passionate and aggressive. That kiss pulled me out of my panic. Now, my concentration focused on the kissing. It distracted me from every other thought that I had on my mind. The laughs faded away in the distance, leaving only the sensation of his burning hot kisses. Soon, I passed out. The exhaustion took over my body.