Flim Out || Jeon Jungkook ff

Have we lost sight of us?

"You drew stars around my scars
But now I'm bleeding "

The walk towards the cemetery from his car was the dreadest thing he has ever done in his life. Lifting his feet to take each step was heaviest thing he has ever done. The burden of his arm was the heaviest thing he was ever carried. The coldest thing that has ever came in contact with him. The baby wasn't alive anymore. She wouldn't feel anything.He knew it. Yet he couldn't help but hug the numb body tighter and closer to his chest to shield it from the cold wind. The casket was ready Infront of the freshly digged tomb. It was about time to leave his daughter. He should do it. But he couldn't bring himself up to do so. The caretaker of the cemetery waited for him to place his baby down on the casket. But he dreaded the idea of doing so. It was still so dark. Still so cold. How can he leave his daughter alone here? She'll be scared right?

" Sir? The baby?"

The caretaker urged him to give the baby but he didn't. He just tightned his hold around her and sat their.

" Sir?"

Jungkook : Not now.

He replied as he bringed the cold body of his child closer to him and wrapped the blanket over her tiny body tightly. He wasn't gonna leave their baby here now. Not like this. Not in this condition...

Their daughter had been buried at the crack of dawn. The air was still thick with fog and chilled as before. The caretakers have all left the place as their job was done. But jungkook couldn't. He just sat on the ground, hugging his knees and staring blankly at the tomb. His arms that had been holding their daughter for past few hours felt too empty now. Just like his soul. He has done several missions. Has attended countless funerals of martyers. He thought he has became stronger now. Not like the 18 year old jungkook who would weep like a child at each death. He thought he had learned to accept the fate. But that day he realised that he didn't. He was still the same. He was still like his 18 year old self. That 18 years old which wasn't strong enough to accept his fate.

Jungkook grabbed the door knob of the hospital room. But he couldn't bring himself up to do so. His hand shaking at her agonizing sobs that were echoing from the other end shattering his heart in the worst way. Mustering the last bit of his courage he opened the door and everything went momentarily silent. In the room was his father who stood far behind the bed. And near the bed was his mother who was caressing his aching wife who was crying miserably. His eyes locked with his wife who shifted on her place. Her hand hastily moved her hairs away from her face and wiped her tears agressively as she uttered his name.

Y/n : Ju-jungkook- they are- jungkook they are saying to that-

Jungkook slowly nodded his head making her world crash down. She hadn't believe what her mother-in-law and father-in-law had said. There has to be something wrong but here was her husband admitting the same thing. Her arms dropped from the clasp of her mother-in-law. No- it can't be happening. Jungkook quickly conquered the distance between him and her wife as he engulfed her in a hug. Her face remaining on his chest while his other arm remained around her back tightly to hold her weak body against his. Biting his lips tightly he tried to muffle his sobs. His forehead dropped on top of her head helplessly. Only if he could take her grive away. Only if she could take his pain away.

That was the first crack in their marriage.

They had a specific rule in their house from then on which stated that " Don't mention that incident ever again." But this rule was often broken in their household. No- They didn't need to specifically mention the incident but everytime they payed a visit to her gynachologist would remind them. Everytime she got her period would remind them. Everytime she got a negative test result it would remind them.Everytime jungkook left for his mission at night would remind them. Everytime it snowed it reminded them. Eventually they started to avoid each other whenever things like it resurfaced but perhaps that was the wrong thing to do. Perhaps if they hadn't piled it all up inside, their relationship wouldn't have turned this bitter. But there was nothing to do anymore. It was already too late.