Classroom of The Elite: A simple task

Starting To Change.

Horikita Suzune's POV

I wake up on the cold, floor of the gymnasium, my body aching from the remnants of the fight I had with Kushida because of the exam. As I slowly rise, an uneasy feeling settles in. The headache pounding in my temples doesn't help matters. I stumble my way back to my room, but the details of how I got there escape me.

Lying on my bed, the unease persists. I attempt to close my eyes and find solace in sleep, but a notification on my phone shatters any hope of that. The school informs me that my final challenge is beginning. I glance at the screen, and my heart sinks when I see the name: Ayanokoji Kiyotaka.

A wave of panic washes over me, memories of a past confrontation with Ryuen Kakeru, a student from Ayanokoji's class, flooding back. The verbal assault, the threats, and the manipulation—I remember it all. My breathing quickens, and I feel the weight of the trauma associated with the mere mention of Ayanokoji.

I am suddenly transported back to that dark alley where he ruthlessly exploited my vulnerability, using a recording of my brother who was beating me trying to get me to drop out. The physical and mental beating left a void in my heart that I've struggled to fill. Regret gnaws at me for allowing myself to be manipulated in my weakest moments.

In this downward spiral of recollection, I somehow snap myself back to reality. The notification on my phone brings me back to the present stopping me from going down a hole that would ruin my mental state more than it already has been.

I have a challenge with Ayanokoji, and I need to prepare. Disgust with myself compels me to take a cold shower, the water running down my body as if attempting to cleanse away the memories.

As I emerge from the shower, there's no trace of my former self. I look into the mirror, and my reflection seems empty, devoid of the usual determination. 

I stare at my own reflection, and it's a disaster. How did I turn into this mess? It's pathetic, and I can't stand it. Facing Ayanokoji in the challenge feels like signing up for a beating. I'm pretty sure I won't survive. Every time I think things might look up, life just throws me back in the dirt. Why bother? What's the point of dragging myself through this school when it feels like I'm dragging my own sorry self through the mud?

My brother, the one I thought might understand, now treats me like a ghost. Last time he saw me, he just walked past, like I'm some invisible stranger. It stings more than I care to admit.

I tried, really tried, to be better. But it's like I'm going backward instead of forward. The madness is crawling in, and I can't shake it off. Yet, I can't leave either. Going back home means facing my mom's wrath, and I'd rather stick it out here, even if it feels like hell.

Graduating from Class A? What a joke. It's not like it's going to fix anything. In my messed-up state of mind right now even If  I somehow managed to graduate from class A I would not be mentally stable. I wonder why I was even doing this in the first place.

And it hits me—I've been trying to copy my brother. I tried being like him since my mother always acknowledged him always praised him and I wanted that for myself, however it's not working. I'm not him, and I never will be. Maybe that's why everything's falling apart. I've been trying so hard to be someone I'm not, and for what? The mess staring back at me in the mirror is the answer. A sad, sorry attempt of a human being. 

Ryuen's mocking words hit harder than I'd like to admit. Painful as it is, he was right about everything. My ego, pride, and confidence are nothing but a facade. I have no achievements to back them up, no reason to carry such a huge ego, no basis for any pride or confidence.

 It's all my brother's legacy, not mine. I tried so hard to emulate him, to adopt his swagger and confidence, but all I ended up as was a knock off, the Walmart great value version of him. I'm the choice you settle for when you can't afford anything else.