Fear the Walking Dead (reimagined)

Part 4. 𝐋imerence

Limerence (noun)
The state of being infatuated or
obsessed with someone, often
romantic in nature

act one

I hide my face behind my hand.
"Stop." I chuckle at Chris.
"Come on, wave at the camera!" Chris laughs.
He grabs my hand and uncovers my face so I smile at the lens, still unconvinced.
Chris looks at the small screen and smiles softly.
"I told you I only capture beautiful things."
I feel heat creep up my cheeks so I avert my eyes.
"I should really go." I tell him honestly.
"What? Why? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or..." Chris starts but I cut him off by putting my hand on his arm.
"No you didn't. I just promised Nick I'd help him out with something." I explain, telling him a partial truth.
"Nick? With what?" He frowns.
I sigh and hesitate before continuing.
"He said he would stop using but he needs help."
Chris scoffs.
"Y/n he won't stop. He has promised his family a million times, he never does. He always relapses. He can't do it."
"Maybe he just needs someone to actually believe in him!" I defend Nick.
"Either way, I will be there for him. He will stop." I say angrily before making my way into the house again, leaving Chris by himself.

act two

I make my way into the living room and only find Alicia and Madison.
"Hey, where's Nick?"
"I think he's in his room." Alicia says so I immediately walk back up the stairs.
I find the door closed to I knock carefully.
"Leave me alone Alicia." Nick's voice comes through, sounding agitated.
"It's me." I say sheepishly.
A second later the door opens and Nick looks at me with a hint of surprise.
He steps aside and I walk into the room before he closes the door behind us.
He walks over to his bed and sits down.
I hesitate but decide to go sit next to him.
He looks nervous but I can't put my finger on why. I scan across his room until something catches my eye.
I see a small zip lock bag hidden under a book that's on his nightstand.
I grab the book and underneath is a small bag filled with white pills.
My eyes widen and I look back at Nick who looks at me with a guilty look on his face.
"Where did you get this?" I ask as I snatch up the bag and hold it out in front of him.
He stammers but no coherent words come out.
"Nick!" I say sternly.
"My mom got them to slowly ween me off the pills. Quitting cold turkey is too dangerous, especially without hospitals." He explains.
"So how many are you supposed to take of these?" I ask, looking at the pills.
"At first one every day and after a week only one a week for a month." He tells me.
"Have you taken it already today?" I ask, doubting wether or not I will get a truthful answer.
"No." He says without looking at me.
"Don't lie to me." I say with hurt in my voice.
"Nick I'm trying to help you. This will get you killed. Please just let me." I say desperately.
"Have you taken it already today?" I repeat.
"Yes." He answers agitated.
I put the bag down and turn to him.
I push some of his shoulder-length hair out of his face.
"We've got this." I say in a hushed tone.
"I just wanted to do it one more time." He tries to reason.
"No. You can do this."
"I'm about to step into a world of shit, you know that right?" He says as he looks at me angrily.
"What do you need?" I ask him.
"I'm gonna need some water and a bucket in case I throw up. And a lot of distraction." He tells me.
"Okay I'll be back soon. And don't even think about it." I say as I grab the small bag again, taking it out of the room with me.

act three

I walk into the kitchen with a determined look on my face and slam the bag down on the counter in front of Madison.
"He's quitting." I say sternly.
She grabs it and sighs disappointedly.
"Alicia, do you have any other books? I thought I could read to him." I tell her and she nods.
"I've got Wuthering Hights, I had to read it for school." She hands me the book.
"Thanks, I'll start with that one then." I smile at her thankfully.
"Madison can I borrow a bucket too? And some towels?" I ask.
"Of course, here." She hands me a bucket from underneath the sink.
"There's towels in the bathroom. If you need us just call." She says with a pitiful look on her face. I simply nod before getting the towels and a glass full of water before going back to Nick.
"I've got a bucket, towels, water and I brought a book that I can read to you." I say determined.
"Listen. I need one more." He says but I shake my head as I retake my place on the bed next to him.
"I'm right here. We've got this." I say as I look into his eyes.
"This isn't going to be pleasant." He says as he lays down.
"Damn, I was looking forward to it." I say sarcastically, gaining a small chuckle.
I lay down next to him and rest my back against the headboard.
"Lets talk." He says.
"Okay. About what?"
"Tell me about you. You seem interesting enough." He jokes.
"What do you want to know?"
"Tell me about your family."
"Well... It was just me and my parents. All of my other family lives in different states. My parents went on vacation about two weeks ago and they were supposed to come back three days after everything went down. I haven't heard anything from them." I tell him as my face drops.
"Y/n I'm sorry." Nick looks at me with a sympathetic expression.
I look down at my hands as I fumble with my fingers.
"Y/n." He repeats, gaining my attention.
He reaches out to me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before his eyes fall down to my lips.
I feel my heart thumping in my chest but neither of us can promise each other anything right now so I clear my throat and continue before he does something he'll regret.
"That's why I'm so grateful that you guys took me in. I didn't have anywhere else to go." I say while trying to fake a smile.

act four

We sit and talk for a while and with every minute that passes I can see Nick becoming more squirmy and sweat starts forming on his forehead.
I grab one of the towels I took and wet it slightly before dabbing it on his forehead.
"How are you doing?" I ask him.
He groans and grabs his stomach.
"Been better."
"Come here." I say quietly as I pull him closer to me to allow him to rest his head on my shoulder.
I grab the book Alicia gave me and flip to a random page to start reading to him to occupy his mind.
At first it feels as if he isn't even listening as he writhes in pain. But I continue to read to him lacking a better solution to take some of his suffering away.
I hesitate when I reach the part everyone has read or heard at some point in their lives.
"He shall never know I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same."
I look down at Nick and find him ever so slightly more calm.
"All you ever wanted was for someone to believe in you." I say but Nick's eyes stay closed.
"All you ever wanted was for someone to love you for who you are. Someone that will stand by you even when all you know is to destroy yourself. Someone that will hold your hand and lead you through whatever world of shit you're going through. Maybe all it took was the world ending and two lonely people desperately looking for support finding a friendly face." I let out a small breathy laugh.
I stroke his hair away from his clammy forehead. I rest my head on top of his and think about how badly I have wanted to feel like I wasn't alone for as long as I remember.
"You know, I think this is the first time I have actually felt like I'm not truly alone. Isn't it sad how the world as we know it had to become a hell hole for us to finally feel normal?" I vent, knowing that Nick is asleep on my shoulder.

act five

The door clicks open and Madison walks in.
"I brought you guys some food. How is he?" She asks worriedly.
"He's asleep." I smile.
She looks disappointed at her son.
"No he isn't. He's pretending to be so you let your guard down. But as soon as you and everyone else goes to sleep he'll go find what he actually wants."
I look down at him with a sense of betrayal and suddenly his eyes flutter open and he straightens himself up with annoyance.
"Nick we all just want what's best for you." Madison tries to tell him but he won't even look at her.
"Y/n, maybe Alicia and I can take over for a while so you can go get some rest."
I look at Nick who now stares into my eyes with a pleading look as if silently asking me to stay with him.
I hesitate for a moment, feeling tired but not wanting to let him down.
"It's okay thank you."
Madison smiles before leaving us alone again.
"Thank you for staying with me." He breathes out.
"Were you awake the whole time?" I ask, feeling embarrassed about everything I had just told him thinking he was asleep.
He nods as he looks down at his lap.
"I think the world has always been a hell hole for me, so now that it's the same for everyone it feels like we fit in. Like we're finally living the same reality as everyone else." He says while groaning.
I stroke his hair and dab his forehead with the towel again to try and make him somewhat more comfortable.
"It hurts." He moans and my heart breaks for him.
"I know." I whisper to him.
He grabs onto his stomach and rolls around on the bed.
"I'm gonna be sick." He tells me before he throws himself over the edge of the bed.
I grab the bucket and hold it up to his face just in time.
I pat his back gently before handing him the towel to wipe off his mouth.
I help him to lay back down against the headboard.
"I don't know how to help you Nick. I'm so sorry." I say as I feel helplessness weigh on my chest.
"Talk to me. Tell me I'm not alone in this shit." He groans without opening his eyes.
"I- .. I've never talked to anyone about this. You aren't alone Nick, even though it feels like it. I was always the odd one out. Everyone laughed when I passed by and I always found myself sitting alone. You turned to drugs but I chose another coping mechanism."
I see him open his eyes and look at me with his eyebrows knit together.
I slowly reach down and pull up my sleeves to uncover my arm covered in scars.
I look at myself and at the hundreds of thin, straight lines running up and down my arm.
Nick grabs it and looks at it as he runs his thumb along the relief of the marks on my skin.
His expression looks pained.
He moves his arm around me and pulls me to his chest.
I rest my head on his chest and feel his arms tighten around me.
The rhythm of his heart beating puts me in a trance that I don't ever want to wake up from.