Loving You, Feels Wrong. (Freen x Becky x Billy)

Chapter 10

“Listen, I know that it feels wrong when you look at it from the outside, but if this sort of physical intimacy makes any of this easier for you, we can keep it between us. No one else has to know how you manage your grief. No one knows what you go through day in and day out without him.”

“What about you? What do you feel about it?”

“I wouldn’t judge you for wanting to feel something other than pain. To be honest, it was comforting for me too, I felt… safe.” Freen said, shyly looking away.

Becky's hand reached across to hold hers.

“I felt safe too. Like I wasn’t dying from despair.” Becky said.

Freen reached up and cupped her face gently, so very lovingly.

“Nong, I would do anything to help you through this, and I know you would for me too, but if at any point you think all of this is crazy, that we’re doing it all wrong, I want you to tell me, I won’t argue and I won’t push, I’ll give you all the space you need.”

“God! P'Freen, you care for me so much.” Becky said it with pain written all over her features, like she felt she was undeserving of any kind of love.

“P'Billy and you are my best friends, Becky. I’ve lost one of you. I don’t wanna lose what I have left.” Freen said.

“I know, that’s why I want to try and come back to myself. Because I may have lost the love of my life, but I can’t afford to lose the last trace of him on this earth. Both of you were such an influential part of one another’s lives."

“Same goes for you. It’s like you’re all I have left of P'Billy.” Freen said.

“Except, you never kissed Billy.” Becky joked, a teasing smile coming upon her face.

“You don’t know that.” Freen said with a wink and then laid down pulling the cover over her.

“WHAT?! No. Billy would have told me!” Becky stated loudly, trying to uncover a hiding Freen.

“Please! There are a lot of secrets between best friends that never make it to the wifey.” Freen said from under the covers.

“Like what?” Becky was curious now.

“Like all of his tricks to get you to have sex with him when you weren’t in the mood.” Freen said.

“There could have never been a day when I was not in the mood to have sex with Billy.”

“There were days when you'd come home too tired from work...” Freen said.

Becky gave it some thought. “UGH! I can’t believe it!” Becky exclaimed.

Freen laughed heartily at that one. And Becky laughed eventually too.

“I'm kidding, Becky.. come on na, get some sleep.” Freen finally told her, signaling to her to lay down.

Becky looked around and then back at Freen and said, “P'Freen, if it’s okay with you, I think I’m going to try and sleep in my bed tonight.”

Freen raised herself up partially on her side, leaning on her elbow. “Are you sure?” she asked Becky.

“No. but I want to try,” Becky said.

“Okay.” Freen said.

Becky got up from the bed and said “Goodnight, P'Freen.”

“Bec, if this is about last night… I hope you know I’m not gonna try and kiss you or something… it was the moment.”

Becky chuckled. “There goes my chances of asking for a goodnight kiss right here.” Becky said pointing to her forehead.