Loving You, Feels Wrong. (Freen x Becky x Billy)

Chapter 21

When Freen arrived at Irin's, her first question to Irin when she pulled the door open was, "Did you get through to her, nong?"

"No, P'Freen. She seems to have switched her phone off." Irin said.

Freen walked in, looking tense.

"What happened? You said you may have done something to hurt her?" Irin said.

"GOD, I'M SO STUPID!" Freen said, covering her face with her own hands.

Irin came up to her, and squeezed her arm gently, "P'Freen, relax, whatever it is, I'm sure you can fix it..."

"No, no, maybe not this time... She's not gonna budge this time..." Freen said, finally looking at Irin and Irin saw the way her eyes teared up.

She hugged her and said, "Sit down, let me get you some water, I need you to calm down and then I want you to tell me in detail, everything that's been going on between you two. I can't help you two if I don't know what's going on."

"Okay, but can you please help me find out if she's okay? Can we go over to her place?" Freen said.

"I don't think that may be a good idea, if she's mad at you. Let me ask Noey if she can go check on her, on her way back from her morning run."

Freen nodded.

"Is Nini awake?"

"Oh no. She wakes up at 6 am and then goes back to sleep at around 7 am, only to wake again at around 9.30 am." Irin said with laughter in her tone.

Freen smiled. "Motherhood looks good on you nong, can't stress that enough."

Irin smiled and went into the kitchen and brought her a glass of water and sat down with her.

"It's my favourite role yet. But doesn't mean I've forgotten how to be the friend that has to get you out of trouble, P'Freen.." Irin said with a wink. And Freen acknowledged with a smile and a hand on her knee, squeezing comfortingly.

Freen waited for Irin to call Noey and once that was done, she told Irin everything.

She told her about the first few days after Billy had passed and how difficult a time that had been for them. She told her about how they somehow found a groove, a routine around one another, and how that slowly became comforting, so much that if that routine shifted even a little out of place, either of them would find themselves getting upset.

She told her about how they sought comfort in the form of physical affection like holding hands at first. And how that suddenly extended to close proximity, and then the kisses that began the day Becky had that panic attack at the school, and how from then on.

It was like going down a rollercoaster, the rush of it all, it was their only escape from the pain of losing their Billy.

"We had created a little bubble for ourselves. No one could hurt us when we were together. No one could take away what we shared. We drowned in it eventually, felt it consume us, until I didn't know what my grieving felt like without her, and she too, had all her emotions messed up with me."

"I fell in love with her nong, and I know now she fell in love with me too, even though neither of us would let her admit it then. It was too soon, so soon after P'Billy... I couldn't let her admit to such a thing then..."

Freen noticed Irin wipe a tear rolling down her own cheek.

"I left her here. And ran far away from her. To get a grip on my emotions. I thought staying away would help me get over her, so that I could come back and be a friend, maybe a best friend, like we used to be... But-"