Ember

7. Burning at both ends

Remi

4 weeks later

The twins birthday has come and gone. The signs of lycan genetics are unbearably strong, Aleric has grown 10 inches at least and his appetite is out of control. We passed threw one village as quickly as we could gathering supplies and getting my piercings redone so I could feel like myself again and the woman was happy to take some fresh herbs I picked in exchange in exchange.

"Every woman should express and be unapologetically themselves" the woman said to me. Gave me some much needed confidence.

The rest of the village wanted bigger compensation. The village was small and so mystical. Aleric in that 1.5 hour period ate 4 raw steaks from a stand and an entire bag of apples. We had to flee rather quickly before my growing boy stole anything else. Nora though her energy is depleting so fast and when she is awake she is fast moving, so fast she hurts herself at times. I knew lycan pups grew at a quick rate but my boy is almost the size of a 4 year old when he is only 2. Nora seems to be growing more in power since she is still so little.

Trying to teach them the lycan ways such as being descret and to control the urges was proven difficult while on the run. Staying alert and being parents, Jacob and I are purely exhausted.

I sit by the fire most nights and mourn the loss of everything I loved so deeply. My father, my pack, my home all taken and then burned by my unknown forces that live in my body.

Walk, hunt, and sleep is our entire day plus the daily training with the twins. I want a life for them. I want Jacob to be happy and rebuild his life, I want to create a home for my ever growing pups. Zaden surely is looking for us all, I will give my life if that means he never gets his claws into me again or taken my pups. We must keep moving to keep him from gaining on us. Working all day to move and all night to plan the next day. Tonight was different.

The peaceful tree cover opens to a breath taking water front. The water smoothing over the rocks in waves of liquid calm. Each wave brings the cool October air to my face, the smell of the icy chill brings tears of my soul to the surface and joy for our freedom. A tornado of emotions. In this moment I need to cherish this moment. Winter is coming fast, we need to make a plan for the coldest months. For now I will wipe my tears and remember this small gift of nature.

Pulling on the long sleeve I acquired from a nice young woman a few weeks ago. We may be wolves but my body has not healed as good as Jake's. He is in great shape as for myself I am still healing old wounds. The chilly air feels amazing even if I feel ill at times. We built a tolerance to the poison given in that hell, doesn't mean it didn't do damage. Once it is out of my system I will thrive.

Jacob sits next to me watching the evening sky. The moon creeping into my soul and warming my heart. I can feel the goddess giving me strength to be who I need to be. To protect my family. Leaning my head on Jacob's lap I invite the sleep celene is offering me. Soothing sounds of the heart beats of my small family lull me to sleep.

*******************

"Mama we are hungry and Nora tripped so aaalll the deer are gone!" My furious son bellows, making me jump onto my feet. From a dead restful sleep. His little hands flying around dramatically pacing the frosted ground obviously about to lose his shit. My pup red in the face, fist clenched pissed off.

"I didn't mean to leric I wanted to help JJ hunt" Nora cries making her mispronounce his name with a sobbing hiccup.

I scoop her up wiping her sorrowful tears away and squeezing her tight, tears soak my shoulder. Her heavy breaths slowing. I kneel down and reach for Aleric, his brow creast and deep red face flared comes forward into the embrace. Their scent wastes away any doubts I could have about the day. We would have to visit a village. We need food and my poor pups need out of these woods for a few hours. Both of their bodies sink to me releasing the weight of all the anger.

"We will be OK my babies. I know it is hard being out here cold and hungry but we do not hurt each other even feelings. You are right to feel all these big feelings. Just try to be kind" I sooth my children and feel the tension fall away.

"All packed up and ready to go" My Beta sneaks forward to not ruin this much needed moment announcing it is time for our departure. The beauty of this place I will forever remember as a safe place. I hope I can return one day when it is safe.

Scooping up my tiny pup and Jacob places Aleric on his back we start our uphill travel. Steep painful walk. The rocks are hard and so cold on my feet since we have not been able to aquire shoes with no money and not many willing to trade. The cuts on my feet pulling apart with each step. The entire hill was torture, pep talking myself the entire way. My pups need food, I am a badass alpha. I can do this.

Jacob had longer legs and feet made of the hardest stone, his trip was faster. The blessing of a man brought Aleric to the top and rushed 1/4 of the way down to pick me and Nora up.

"Remi when we get food you need to eat this time" the stern look made my wolf stir but I knew he was right. The malnutrition was taking my abilities away.

He placed Nora down and bridal style held me.

"It is soft here with grass and moss. It will be a bit cold, I need you both to listen, stay close and walk. Mama needs me to help her" I imagined a silent nod as we began to move. I rested so comfortably not realizing I was falling asleep warm and safe.