Kalopsia (Sequel to Monachopsis)

2 - I'm so low, can't get under me

Katsuki doesn't look at him, eyes focused on the tile floor. The mention of the last day he saw Deku alive only pulls him deeper into the swamp of guilt and self-hatred that has been growing bigger and bigger since that day. He grits out, 

"What about it." 

He remembers every single moment of that day like it only just happened, it replays in his mind every single moment he spends awake and asleep. If this were the real Deku, he would probably be begging to be forgiven, to see him smile at him and say everything is going to be okay.

 But this thing isn't him, so he isn't going to treat it like it is. 'Deku' rubs the back of his neck, searching for something to say. A habit that the real Deku had. It pisses Katsuki off just seeing the thing imitate him so personally. 

"I just thought... we could talk about it, you know?"

 Katsuki narrows his eyes at the thing and turns away. 'Deku' doesn't know he knows that he's a fucking fake, right? Katsuki doesn't answer, and the small room is back to being silent. Since this thing has been able to impersonate Deku so well, does it also have his memories? 

Does it know what Deku was thinking when he... 

Katsuki slowly stands up, 'Deku' watching him do so, an uncertain look on his freckled face. He looks down at him, hands in his pockets. They are still shaking, and like hell he would let 'Deku' see that. 

"Okay. Let's talk about it shitty 'Deku.'" 

The thing scrambles up from the tiled bathroom floor, his cheeks slightly flushed. 

"O-Okay do you wanna-"

 Katsuki interrupts him. 

"We'll go on a fucking walk, or some shit 'Deku' just get the fuck out of the bathroom!" 

'Deku' rushes out of the bathroom, clearly in fear Katsuki will change his mind. He quickly brushes his teeth to rid his mouth from the disgusting taste of vomit and leaves the bathroom. He hears talking downstairs, and waits by the top of the stairs, staring at one of the pictures hanging on the wall. 

It's when Deku and him went to the waterpark as kids, four-year-old Katsuki having orange floaties around his arms and Deku having a pair of green goggles on his face, squinting at the camera. 

"We are so glad your back Izuku, we were so worried about you!" 

his mom says from downstairs, talking to that thing like it's the same person she watched grow up. 

"I'm sorry I worried all of you, auntie, I never meant to!"

 At hearing the monsters voice, he goes downstairs and to the front door, putting his shoes on. 

"Katsuki? Where are you going?" 

Masaru calls from the dining room where everyone is talking to each other, and he opens the door. 

"Me and 'Deku' are going on a walk."

 At hearing his name, Deku leaves the dining room and goes to the front door, quickly putting on his shoes.

 "Okay, you two be careful!" 

Inko says, her voice small and full of so much worry. Katsuki glares as Deku leans down to put his shoes on. How dare this monster take Deku's body and act like that, gaining everyone's fucking sympathy?