Kalopsia (Sequel to Monachopsis)

4 - For I just threw out the love of my dreams

Every time he meets its eyes, its cheeks turn red, and it quickly looks away. Finally, he decides he's done with it the tenth time it happens. 

"Why the fuck do you keep looking at me shitty 'Deku'?!"

 'Deku' jumps and lights up like a fucking Christmas tree, hands nervously fidgeting with his shirt. 

"S-Sorry Kacchan! I just wanted to ask if we could hold hands? I know that we're in public and you don't want anyone to see but I figured since no one is around-" 

'Deku' nervously mutters, speaking so fast Katsuki doesn't catch the rest of it. He looks down at the garbage filled beach. They walked all the way to Takoba Municipal Beach Park. The place is his fucking nightmare, the smell of garbage tainting the water and the sand. 

He can't remember a time where this place was fucking clean, but he's seen some pictures of him and Deku here when they were kids, placed in that photo album his mom has in the house. Katsuki glances at 'Deku's' hand. 

It's the same one that he's held a thousand times before, at least from the outside, save for a couple of new scars. If Deku could see him right now, he would probably shun Katsuki more than he already deserves. 

He grabs its hand but doesn't squeeze it like he did when Deku was still alive. Still, the thing reacts just like he would. If he didn't see Deku's life leave his body, he would have been completely fooled by this fake. 

It's got all his mannerisms, the little twitches, even the way he speaks, down to a fucking T. 'Deku' squeezes his hand slightly. 

"I'm so happy you want to hold hands again. I thought for sure you wouldn't want to ever see me again after that day."

 Katsuki doesn't say anything, and slowly stops walking. He can see the waves going back and forth from here, the fence in front of them placed there to keep people from falling down the small cliff that drops down to the dirty beach. 

What would happen if he pushed this thing down there? Would it just get back up? The thought instantly leaves his head. He wouldn't be able to kill Deku twice, even if this version of him isn't really him.

 It's there, those thoughts leaving his mind and the feeling of 'Deku's' thumb trailing small circles into his hand, that he asks the question that's been plaguing his mind ever since seeing it standing at his door. 

"Who the fuck are you."

 The response is not immediate. Deku is still smiling at him, not processing the sentence. Katsuki looks at him coldly, the sound of waves crashing against each other in the back of his mind. Then, 'Deku's' face falls, his eyes watering and he tightens his grip on his hand. 

Katsuki watches in stunned silence as a part of the fakes neck opens up in a thin line, darkness under his skin. When he speaks, there are two different voices. He recognizes it as Deku's and a voice like his but deeper. 

"How did you know?"