Ashes to Ashes

To be gay, or not to be gay, that is the question..

by @thestarsareonfire and myself, Kathryn

Also no I'm not naming anyone well okay I'm Shadrack.. and my girfriend is rachel. Illena used to be my girlfriend until Rachel came.. things changed. We have a special connection I think. I don't know if she feels the same way though, she's traipsing after this guy's named Colin or something. Who knows. I sweAr though, it hurts so much to see the one you call yours looking for someone else.

Thing is we have been threw so much together and I guess I understand that her and colin are just bestfriends. After all he has a wife... Today she admitted she was jealous of other couples and wants to move up to the next level. Although I'm lying about Colin having a wife, after all he's only 17. I realise it's stupid to get upset but I feel that they.. that they are meant to be. It's stupid, and I know I should break it off with her. She's only with me to prove to herself that she can get a boyfriend. I bet her and Colin(damn that Irish bastard) are hooking up secretly. I'm hurt..

I was talking to him today and he admited he feels nothing towards her. I really feel like I can trust him. After all he did admit he wasn't into seeing people who kept chickens especially girls whom have bromances with chickens

Colin's POV:

Today was difficult. I had to tell her boyfriend that I feel nothing. It's so hard to control these feelings, I love her so much. And the whole chicken thing. Her relationship with animals is endearing and I find it kawaii as hell. Urgh why is life such an ass to me?

Why am I doing this? Im trying to pretend i'm in love with someone when I'm not. I love this amazing guy and I don't have the guts to tell people. Rachel's obssession about me has gone to far. Infact its creepy. Rachel is nice, but she isnt him.. I just love him with every part of myself. I need to tell the truth before everyone gets hurt.

Jk I ain't gay lel. I'm considering discussing this with Rachel as I feel like she's with the wrong guy. I want to take her to the movies and watch cheesy films together but oh my god her boyfriend gets in the way so much. Maybe there's a way to get rid of him.. no not by killing him of course.

No I'm defo gay. See my thoughs above, it just proves that im trying to make up excuses.

I'm really not, though I may seem it. But my love burns in my chest. Wow, now I understand why people think I'm gay. Whoopsie. I ain't gay peeps.

Ugh IM DOING IT AGAIN. pretending I'm not gay when I really am. I guess I'm a wimp. I need shadrack.. he is my everything. I hope he dies

Rachel's P.O.V

Casually creeping on him... mhh. Okay so Colin is pretty hot I must say myself but he's been acting really weird lately and I think that he might be gay.

Colin's POV:

Okay time to accept myself for who I really am. I'm pansexual and so that means I have romantic attachments to pans. I'm so happy I could get this out but now time to tell Rachel..

"hey Rachel, just to tell you that I can't like you. Never have and never will. Thing is I AM GAY. Not Pan. Sozzy but it doesnt matter cause your a creepy little freak who stalks me"

I look down at my once apon a time hand. There in its place stood the hook. I smirk evily remembering all the good times I've had. Meh. Shadrack is my one true love. I need to make him mine.. all mine mwahaha.

The truth is that he wasnt my first love. It was in fact this guy named Graham. Graham made me feel like i was worth something more. I miss him so much.

Now he is gone .All because of my hook. I should of taken it off but I didn't and now Graham is dead.

Long Live King Graham, my first love.