Ashes to Ashes

In the end ( Kandy is finished ?! )

a.n IN THE END AS WE FADE INTO THE NIGHT..... O.o sorry ~K

[ Katie ]

I was mad. No, I was furious. My emotions were all boiled up into one big bag of hurt and heartache. The type that one gets after realising their favourite character had just been killed off in Game of Thrones. It was sort of hard to describe. I knew what being heartbroken felt like, having experiencing it more commonly than that of the average person.

Scratch that, an average person has never been through the same amount of emotional depression I have in a month! Let alone a whole life time. But what I was feeling just now?

It was more like heartbroken relief.

Of course there was part of me that was still mad, mad that Andy didn't have the balls to actually break up with me face to face. But the other was just so relived that the relationship was over and the dork was out of harms way. Out of the danger that clung to me like a shadow..

Yes, of course I loved Andy. I loved him to the moon and back, more than I can say for my other boyfri- ex's... But it had gotten to the point in the relationship where I had found myself falling in too deep. I was too attached. And I couldn't have kept up the charade... The very thing that was keeping him out of harms way and me in a lie..

The thing is... I'm a time bomb.

A ticking time bomb that meant all the people that got too close or actually meant something to me, got obliterated in my wake. I couldn't protect anybody. I certainly couldn't afford attachments that might be caught in the cross fire if any of them found those I entrusted my affections with.

That is why I tend to break the people I love the most. That is why I lie, why I cheat and repeatedly push my own sister away from me... Because it keeps her and everyone else alive. If I hurt the people I care deeply enough for, if I break them just enough to keep them at a safe distance from me, I save their lives.

That is why I am relieved that Andy, dorky, Batman obsessed, Andy is out of my picture. He is safe now, and I am satisfied with actually being blessed to have gotten to know him.

Wiping at the build up of moisture from under my eyes ( they're sweating okay! I don't do heat and I don't cry! -ew-), I locked my phone. The screen immediately going dark and obscuring my vision from my boyfri- ex's text.

Batman (Andy <3): Hey Kat.. I've know for some time now that I not who you truly wanted. I'm not that guy you think about first thing in the morning or last thing at night. I know that whenever you were with me, you were thinking of him. Of what could and should have been. And believe me when I say, I wish I was.. But I'm not. And I won't put you through the heartache anymore, I won't keep you from the happiness you truly deserve.

Please Katie, if you believe that you owe me anything, anything at all.. For once in your life think of yourself.. Be selfish just this once and be happy.

Goodbye, Catwoman X

"Goodbye, Batman." I whispered, laying back on the soft mattress of my bed and staring up absentmindedly at my plain, white ceiling.

Selfish? Could I be selfish and do something for myself for once?

And put him in danger.. I think not!

My heart sunk as I realised Andy's final request was a doubled edged sword, one that would cut me in half at both sides.

If I was to be happy, like Andy had requested, I would put him in danger. But if I kept him safe, I would be betraying Andy's last wish...

Ugh for Odin's sake, Katie!

I cussed quietly to myself. Glaring up at the roof above my head now, like I could magically burn a hole right through it and all my problems would be sucked away.. But of course that was clearly impossible.

I had far too many problems for that. Even if half were sucked away, I'd still have millions to deal with.

I shall list three for example:

•I had Rachel, and her hatred towards me, which hurt everyday because the person she really hated, was not me at all. Just a fabricated person that kept her out of my shipwreck of a life and caused me excruciating pain as I watched, voiceless, as my sister turned her back on me..

•I had him (but I'm not going to talk about that)

•And I've got this damn infernal case to solve and no real research or motivation to go on!

I cursed out loud then.

I needed help. I needed my friends, friends that actually knew who I really was and cared for me like an actual family.

But could I endanger them like this?

I worried my lip as I pondered over the dilemma at hand. Glaring at my ceiling then at my phone, then the ceiling again. This repeated like a pattern, over and over for a good hour before I realised... That I can ask this of them. They were my family! Not by blood, but nevertheless, they were the people that I'd been to hell and back with.

Literally!!

Pulling out my phone with haste, I unlocked it. Punching in the number with hurried and shaking hands, I pressed it to my ear and waited.

Three shrill rings later and it was answered on the other end.

"Hello?" The familiar and heartwarming voice spoke through the phones speaker in a rather groggy manor.

Glancing at the clock on my wall, I realised why with a restrained laugh. It was only nine o'clock in the morning here in London, but where he is it was still two in the morning. I could just picture him now, glaring at me down the phone with droopy, puppy eyes.

Surprising a laugh I knew would only gain me a dead phone line, I spoke,

"Sam, I need your help. How soon can you be here?"

a.n CAUSE' IT'S THE END AND I'M NOT AFRAID, I'M NOT AFRAID TO DDDDDIIIEEEEE

So that is the end of Kandy :'( awww we had a good run... But now there's this Sam fella... Hmm now who could that be ;) ~K