Anti-Hero

Marry Me Juliet

I wanted to write this because I was listening to some of Taylor's songs with references to "heros" and "films" from Folklore and Evermore and something kind of clicked for me. In those albums, whenever she is referencing movies or films, I am convinced she is singing about Miss Americana (her 2020 documentary that she created during her Lover album era). I think her original plan was to come out as queer in Miss Americana (whether that is gay, bi, unlabeled, etc, I don't know, and I am not going to pretend like I do).

To be honest, I was only introduced to gaylor theory this year, but it is the most convincing "conspiracy" theory I've ever heard about. I may be biased because I am queer and I do interpret most art and experiences through a queer lens, but you must have to be in complete denial or insanely attached to compulsory heterosexuality to not see the signs.

Taylor Swift's music has always resonated with me, and the first time I ever heard any of her songs was in 2008. I was on the bus to elementary school, and I heard "Love Story" for the first time. Back then, I was confused why I heard a girl's voice singing "marry me Juliet" so passionately on the radio. It is strange that I distinctly remember that to this day, and I am not trying to be parasocial with Taylor Swift herself, but I have always felt a special connection to her music since that day...Another note on songs from the Fearless album, can anybody tell me what the fuck "Change" is supposed to actually be about?

I never actually considered myself a "swiftie" or a generally "big fan" of her music until this year. She was an artist I would return to listening to every now and then, because I did really enjoy her music, but I'm going to be honest, something about her public persona and the public perception of Taylor Swift made her art less enjoyable to me. No offense, but I am going to be misogynistic here and say that a straight cis rich white girl writing about her breakups with straight cis rich white men is not interesting to me-like at all. And, as someone who was fed that narrative about Taylor Swift, that is how I viewed her art. Also, I don't care if it's problematic to say this, but her being queer adds a lot more depth to her music. I do think she is talented no matter what, but I still stand by her music and art being pretty boring if it is only about cis heteronormative relationships and a rich white cis heteronormative life.

However, although I kind of wrote Taylor off as an artist who I was not super passionate about listening to—because of the narratives I knew about her at the time—I still could not understand why I resonated with her music so much. After I heard "Love Story" for the first time in elementary school, I was introduced to her music again in middle school, and I remember two songs I was really into were "Our Song" and "Ours." In "Our Song," Taylor Swift did that thing she loves to do in her music (again) and took on the role of both characters in the song (the boy and herself). Similar to "Love Story," she was singing lyrics like "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have." I am honestly not sure how many artists do this in their discographies, but this specific theme seems  rampant in Taylor Swift's music. She constantly uses the excuse of a "male perspective" to sing about women. At the time of first being introduced to these songs—when I was also still closeted and pretty young—I thought nothing of this, but now I understand why I enjoyed her music so much. To be honest, I feel like I don't even need to explain why "Ours" would resonate so much with a closeted queer middle schooler. If you can't understand how that song is a soft gay anthem, please don't throw rocks at me or the people who claim "Ours" as queer.

Moving on to Taylor's Red album: This is an album that came out while I was also in middle school, and I remember watching the music video for "Everything Has Changed" during this time. Besides that music video just kind of being adorable, I am also unsurprised that this is one of the songs that resonated with me back then. I do enjoy soft songs like this, but also considering the lyrics, Taylor doesn't address the muse in this song with any specific pronouns. Also, I am so confused about how EVERYTHING has changed—like how boring if she is talking about meeting a mediocre rich white man and falling in love...that doesn't sound like much of a change to me. I also think I got really into Ed Sheeran's music at this time, but I haven't really gone back to his music since high school unfortunately.