The other girl's story

He played me

One by one, I remember how he smiled at me before Miya knocked me out. I couldn't even say goodbye. It was the last time I saw him. Why have my memories of him vanished? How could I forget him? He was my one and only true friend. The one I couldn't save. The one who died because I was too weak. My tears start flowing uncontrollably. He was a human and a traitor, so why? Why do I have to love him in this life? Felix tries to grab my hands, but I punch around and get out of bed. He doesn't say anything, nor does he ask what's wrong with me. I try to get away from him but fail. He pushes me down on the floor and holds me in place. No... I can't move... I'm scared. "Let me go." I beg almost desperately. He doesn't listen but hugs me very tightly instead. "It's alright. You are safe here with me. Calm down. I will not leave your side. I promise you. This one time, please... believe me. Give me one more chance, Roxanne." My body freezes all of a sudden. "Hey, what did you just call me?" He doesn't answer. I yell at him: "Did you just call me Roxanne?" He slightly releases me in order to meet my confused eyes. Reality hits me. I shake my head in disbelief. "Liar." I whisper. "Please, give me a chance to explain myself." I hit his face with all of my force. "Did you have fun playing with me and my feelings? Dorian was right. How could I ever trust a man? You keep lying to me, no matter the amount of chances I give you." I shout at him angrily. He releases me, in guilt. I pick up my clothes and leave the room without another word. I wipe my tears and run down toward a river to calm down. My shivering fades slowly. I give Tia a call. "Rose? What happened? You are up late. Are you crying? Where is our bassist? Is he not with you?" I gulp. "Tia... Can you please buy a train ticket back for me?" A short silence. "When do you want to leave?" No other questions asked, as I know her. She is really the only one in the entire world I can trust. Truly the only one who has never betrayed me. "Right now. As soon as possible. Next train, I'll take it. I'll go to yours. And also..." I take a deep breath. "I have something to tell you when I arrive." She mumbles a small,"I understand." Before hanging up. She followed my orders as I take the next train back to Berlin. Like a zombie, I sit down inside the train. Those feelings... I don't like it. I want to go back to my past self. I was uncapable of feeling anything back then, so why do I have to suffer now? Is that the pain I have to shoulder as a prize? I smile bitterly. Fate must enjoy seeing me like this. Why am I even mad at Felix? Well... he betrayed me in my past life. And in this life, he somehow remembers it. And he knew that I'm Roxanne. He seems to know everything. About the past and the present. Yet he acted dumb. I feel like he played with my feelings. In his past life... he was a traitor. He was part of the revolutionary army. My enemy. Yet he was interacting with me every single day. Without me knowing it. I thought he was genuine... he must have loved playing God. And now I feel dumb and weak because he was 10 steps ahead of me all along. I don't want to think about this anymore. When I arrive, Tia is waiting on the platform for me. I hug her as soon as I see her, and my tears start flowing again. She hugs me back, smelling like cherry blossom. "It's alright. Let's go home." She whispers. I nod into her neck. When we arrive home, there is already a bunch of sect and wine on the table, some cigarettes, and chocolate. "You always know what I need." We sit down, and Tia patiently waits until I've drunken a glass and feel ready to tell her the story. "Tia, I am not from this time..." She tilts her head. "If you mean it's too late for us to talk, we can also do that tomorrow." I shake my head. "I didn't mean time of the day... I have a past life in this world. 1319 years ago. I lived as a brutal mass murderer. I was not human, and I owned the world. At least for a short time." Silence. I know how crazy that must sound to her. It sounds crazy to me as well now that I say it. I might have believed that my past life has actually been only a dream if Felix hadn't remembered it as well. "My name was Roxanne Helion. I was hated by humans because I could do to them whatever I wanted. All of them were my toys. I became crazier each day searching for freedom. I thought I was free because I had this great power, but I was wrong... there was one person who was more powerful than me and who took away my illusion of freedom by betraying and killing me. I've made up for my sins by reliving my victims pain over and over again until I became numb to it. And when I became numb to it, I spent 1300 years with this numb emptiness. In the nothing, waiting for the real owner of this body... Rose, to give me a chance to set things right and actually receive freedom. That is why I have reincarnated as her." Tia drinks a glass of red wine. "That sounds like a made up story Rose." I sigh. "I know. You don't believe me?" She drinks it all up in one go. "I'm not sure... you don't have a reason for lying to me, right?" I nod. "Actually it's about to get crazier... because you Tiana Helion have reincarnated as well. You just don't remember it. You used to be the demonic Supreme killer of Kallistine City. Miya Carrington." Her eyes widen for a second. "Supreme killer..." she mumbles. Then she takes my hands into hers. "Then what you said is really true and let me guess... Felix as well... he remembers his past life as well!" She almost gets hysterical. Why does she believe me all of a sudden and how does she know that about Felix?" She explains it to me: "When both, you and Felix met me for the first time... you both had a very similar reaction. As if you already knew me. Do you remember the name you mumbled when you saw me in the park? It was 'Miya'. But not only that... when Felix visited our tattoo studio and met me for the first time he said: 'Supreme killer Carrington?' But then he also said that he mistook me for someone else... both of you... even before knowing each other... this means you are telling the truth. I believe you."