{First Book}
In where two close friends finally meet again after years. Both ending in a terrible note and feeling as they got betrayed by one another. They finally meet again feeling the same tension from before.
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"I have loved you since we were eighteen"
The short brunette girl woke up at two in the morning unable to fall asleep. She stared up at the ceiling as her fingers ran through her girlfriend's hair. Bada's head laid on her chest as her arms were wrapped around her small waist. Their legs tangled together and she could hear her small breathing. She could feel her chest rise and fall against her body. A small sigh left Leah's lips as she stared at nothing in particular. She never allowed herself to be this happy, not with anyone. But being around Bada she couldn't help it. She always made her laugh, smile and made her days. Now laying her in bed with her she somewhat felt out of place. It wasn't her girlfriend's fault, if anything it was hers. Anytime she allowed herself to be truly happy or feel some sense of joy within her. She knew the risk of her own mind playing tricks with her and ruining her day. She never allowed herself to be happy because of her anxiety and depression. Something she thought would just go eventually. It wasn't until she started to see a therapist in which she told her it was a mental illness. It doesn't just go away whenever you want it to. It always lingers around even when you feel above the clouds. You could be going through a good chapter in your life with no worries at all.
And all of the sudden it hits you, it isn't fast like a truck slamming into you on the road. More like it started subtle. At first you're unaware of it, when you realize it is coming back you shrug it off assuming it's nothing at all. Then it slowly started to consume your mind and body. Not allowing you to see the bright things around you. You constantly question everything around you and about yourself. You feel this weight on your body any time you try to pull yourself out of bed. Once you get on your two feet the ground beneath you starts to crumble down. You could feel hands grabbing your ankles wanting to stop you from pushing through. You trip on your own two feet, you start to drag your body across the ground until you make it out the door. When you make it out you feel a sense of relief, a wave of breathable air hits you. Her green blue eyes glanced down at the beautiful sleeping mess of a girl laying on her chest. She leaned down kissing her forehead causing her to stir in her sleep. She let out a small yawn, her eyes fluttering open. Bada removed her body from hers getting out of bed and heading into the bathroom. Leah watched her with a blank face.
Another sigh leaving her lips. She remembers this feeling of feeling lost and unsure. She wasn't sure of what she felt but she did feel a bit sad. Something she normally felt when her anxiety started to creep in again. She's always been able to control her anxiety, especially with medication. She stopped taking it for a while feeling as if she was in a good place with herself. That it wasn't necessary anymore, but her therapist had warned her. That her anxiety could come back at any time and could be stronger than the last one. Each episode had been stronger than the one before making it harder for her to fight through it. Now laying here feeling sleepless and lost. She's aware of the mental illness starting to make its way back to her. Sitting up on the bed, she pushed herself out of bed sliping her warm feet into her slippers. She ran her fingers through her messy brown hair. Making her way out of the bedroom she could hear the door of her bathroom opening. She ignored it heading down the small hall of her apartment. She turned the lights on in her kitchen as she grabbed the milk from her fridge. She grabbed a mug pouring herself some milk.
