Ben's PoV
I continued walking. I figured that I would head towards the city. They would have some answers for me there, and a place to stay. I kicked a mirror with a crack in it to the side. I shattered into 2 pieces and I scampered away.
Without realizing it, I began to think about Mom and Dad. I didn't want to, but it just happened. I also thought about Tobey and Elena. I wondered how they were feeling, and how different life was like at home. I wondered about Mom. How was she doing? Did she miss me? I wondered the same about Dad.
I also thought about life before I had cancer...
~It was a gorgeous day outside. I got out of my bed and ran to the kitchen. Mom was sitting down, reading a magazine and smoking.
"Mommy!" I ran to her and she smiled. She blew the smoke out of the window and opened up her arms.
"Hi honey! How did you sleep last night?"
"Good!" I giggled and smiled at her. She kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.
"Oh yeah? What did you dream about?"
I launched into this huge story about slaying dragons and saving a princess from her tower, and the town giving me a huge award for saving everyone. Suddenly, Dad came bursting through the door.
I was swept away and put into the bathroom. Mom turned on the light and I was kept in there for a long time. There was occasionally some yelling, but there were hushed voices most of the time.
Someone opened the door, and I crouched down to the toilet, hiding away. I've seen what Dad could do, and I didn't want any of it.
But instead, it was Harry. "Hey champ. How's it going?" He whispered.
"Good. Why are we whispering?"
"I don't know." We both laughed. He crawled over to me and put his arm around me. He kissed my forehead like mom and hugged me close. "Ben, if I'm not around anymore, I just wanna let you know that I love you. You are one of my best friends. One day, I know that we'll be together..."
I looked up at him, alarmed. "Harry, why are you talking like that? Where are you going? Don't leave me!" I hugged him tighter. He put an arm on my back.
"Shhh... Ben I'm not going anywhere. I just want you to know that if I do leave."
"Please don't leave Harry..." I started shaking. He pulled away from me. We heard heavy footsteps coming towards the bathroom door.
"I love you Ben." He whispered and the door swung open, my dad standing there. ~
I shuddered. My thoughts stopped there. I thought about it again, and again, and again. If I would have known about Harry before, I would have said something different or just escaped with him out of there. I was my entire fault that he died... I should have stopped it. Maybe cancer was karma's way of getting back at me...
I immediately started thinking again...
~ Mom was sitting next to me, gripping my hand hard. I gulped and looked around the doctor's office. It was plain white, and there were diagrams of bodies all around the walls. Finally the doctor entered the room.
"Well, the test results came back, and I'm afraid that I have some bad news..." Mom sniffled loudly. Dad gripped his armrest.
"Just spit it out Doc." My dad said.
He gulped and turned to me. "Ben, I'm sorry. You are diagnosed with..."
"Stop," Mom said. She covered her face with her hands and rocked back and forth. "This is all my fault..."
Dad took my hand and led me back out to the hallway. I stared up at him as he pushed me into the wall.
"Look kid, do you have any idea how much this is going to cost us all? You're little 'cancer' condition? And look at what it's done to your mother! When we get back..." He trailed off and cracked his knuckles.
I shuddered and looked back up at him. He slammed my body up against the wall one more time and then walked away. I slumped down to the floor and buried my head in my arms. He was right, this was my fault.
I wish I hadn't been born at all. ~
I looked down at my feet and sat down on a pile of rubbish. I couldn't remember what Dad did to me that night, but there were some types of scars on my back, long and thick ones too. I suspected that he had done that.
~ "Mom," I was sitting in my hospital bed. My lips were all chapped and no matter how much water I drank, they remained that way.
"Uh huh?" She was flipping through a magazine.
"Why is Dad so mean to us?"
She shook her head, her eyes never leaving the magazine. It must of been a really good article. "You shouldn't say that about your father. There a lot of good things about him."
"Like what?" I mumbled.
Her eyes were focused on the book. Little by little, she seemed to stop caring about me. She wouldn't visit me as often anymore, she wouldn't bring me toys, and there were no more hugs and kisses. She was focused more on other things, like Tobey's swimming lessons and Elena's ballet classes. I was just a helpless soul, doomed to die any minute.
"Mr. Jackson will be here in a second." The nurse came in. She took out my I.V needle. It used to hurt, but not anymore. There was nothing that they could do to me that hurt more than cancer. ~
My parents don't love me.
And I don't love them.
I stood up. I was dead now, or at least in some type of middle-ground between heaven and hell. I would never ever see them ever again. In a way, I'm glad that I died. The things that they did to me...
I continued walking. Now, I wouldn't have unwanted emotional baggage. I would just have me to worry about.
"I don't love you..." I whispered, to no one in particular. They wouldn't be able to hear me anyways.
