𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍 & 𝐄𝐂𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘-𝙜𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮

FOURTEEN

I didn't wait for his answer before continuing out into the Glade. The Med-hut wasn't far from us and I hobbled as fast as I could to it. Gally quickly caught up with me and kept his hand on the small of my back to make sure I didn't fall.

The boys were back to work and they all stopped to stare at me, but I didn't care, I only had one goal in mind.

Clint wasn't in the hut, but Jeff was and he tried to tell me to get back to bed. "Clint's orders."

I ignored him and looked at each bed until I got to the one that Newt was laying in. He was asleep, breathing slowly. He was covered in sweat and shaking, but that wasn't what caught my eye. He had a bandage wrapped around his ankle, with a small plank pressed against it.

"He twisted his ankle." I didn't phrase it as a question.

"He has a really bad fever." Jeff said. "We're not sure what brought it on."

"How long has he been here?" I clenched my teeth, willing the tears to not fall, but they had a mind of their own.

"About a week." I turned at Alby's voice. He walked to us and stood on the other side of Newt. "It's good to see you up and around." He gave me a small smile that I couldn't return.

"What was he doing out in the Maze?" I asked him. If Newt was close to anyone it was Alby.

Alby looked down at Newt as he answered. "He's always struggled with...dark thoughts. He was so good at hiding it though. After you were attacked and slipped into a coma, he just spiraled. He kept blaming himself. Said it was his fault you were in the deadheads in the first place."

I choked on a sob and shook my head. "It wasn't his fault." I looked around at the boys. "None of it was your guy's fault. I wish I could have told Newt that before..."

"He's gonna be fine." Jeff said softly. "His ankle needs to heal and we need to find something to bring down the fever, but he'll be back to normal."

"Or close to normal." I muttered. I felt my knees buckle and Gally moved me to the closest bed. I heard the voices of the boys from the woods again. It was your fault for coming up. Your fault for being here. It was my fault my friends were hurt.

"Florence." I looked up at Alby through blurry eyes, he had tears of his own. "We'll get past this."

Gally had taken me back to the hut and promised that he would give me updates on Newt as long as I promised to stay in bed. It was a promise I couldn't keep, but had to anyway.

It was hard though. I had been in the same position for over a month and felt like I needed to move or I would lose function over my own body.

Gally had to take me to the restroom and was close by when I showered to make sure I didn't fall or anything. Even when I started gaining some weight and my strength back, he would still stick close. He treated me as if I would break. Like I was weak. And as the days went on, I found myself getting angrier and angrier.

So everyone saw me as weak. Even Gally. When I got up to use the bathroom-really just to walk around-Gally was quick to his feet. I groaned in frustration. "You don't have to come with me. I got up fine didn't I?"

"I'm not letting you go by yourself."

"I don't need you to hold my hand. I'm fully capable of using the bathroom by myself."

He could sense that I was getting frustrated and did his best to stay calm, though I could see how irritated he was. "Flor, I'm not leaving you alone again." His face fell and I tried to ignore the way his voice was close to breaking.

I clenched my teeth, fighting back tears. I was so tired of crying, tired of the overwhelming fear that grew in my chest anytime I remembered my attack. I was so tired of everything. "I'm sorry that you feel the need to protect me." I meant to say it sharply-not sure why I wanted to pick a fight with him. Though maybe then he would leave me alone. "I'm sorry I'm a burden to you.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You think you're a burden to me?"

"Aren't I? You spend your waking hours with me. You take care of me. You shouldn't have to do those things. You don't even go to your job anymore!"

He was quiet for a second and exhaled through his nose. "I do those things because I want to. Not because I feel like I need to."

"No, you do it because you feel bad for me. You're guilty that I got hurt." I started to walk out of the hut. "I just want to be left alone."

I felt his hand close around my wrist and he turned me to face him. He was angry now and he wasn't hiding it or holding it back. "You don't get to tell me how I feel. You couldn't possibly imagine how I feel."

"I know how everyone feels! You all think it would be easier if I wasn't here right? It would be better if I wasn't here!"

His face fell in shock and then frowned. "Do you actually believe that?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. If it's what everyone thinks then what does it matter what I believe?"

"Because it's not true." He shouted. "Florence, you choose to believe the thoughts of people who only wanted to hurt you, but you don't want to believe the thoughts of ones who care about you."

"That's all I hear!" I shout back. "They're always in the back of my mind, reminding me how useless I am. Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't come up at all. Maybe it would have been better if I had died in the deadheads."

His mouth hung open and I saw how hurt he was by my words. "Don't say that. You take those words back right now."

I looked around us, a group of boys gathering, but I was so angry, I couldn't care who was listening. "You should have left me tied to that tree."

Gally's eye twitched and his jaw worked itself into what I was sure was a painful back and forth motion. And then his face went calm. "Stop trying to push me away. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. It doesn't matter what reason you were sent up here, it doesn't matter what those stupid fucking boys had said. You are Florence. This isn't you. I want my Florence back."

The boys were quiet as they waited for my response. I closed my eyes. I know exactly what you are. It was the sentence that started everything. That landed us in this exact moment. And had I been a different person-a different girl-maybe I would have swooned at Gally's words. But that girl likely hasn't been in my shoes, and didn't have the experiences that I had. So I sucked in a breath, steadying myself. "I'm not that girl anymore Gally. I've been through some shit and I...I can't be her anymore."