Little Doll (Mafia!Dazai x reader)

(C. 25) Please//Hypocrite

A/N I am waiting for the day where I post a chapter and it turns out I forgot to delete my notes out of it so after the chapter ends you guys just get like a four sentence summary of what happened and some quotes. I feel like its bound to happen eventually, if it hasn't already.

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Y/n had settled into her new home quickly and it caused even more chaotic joy for the trio than they had had before she and Dazai had their disagreement. The trio had taken to leaving one another notes. Sliding them under one another's doors, breaking in and taping them to the walls. All little harmless pranks, reminders for meetings, little drawings and doodles. One time, Dazai had even woken up to a post-it on his forehead bearing a little smiley face and the words 'got you' in Y/n's familiar, messy writing.

"Did you get my note?" she had mischievously inquired as he had sat down for breakfast with her and Chuuya.

"You taped it to my fucking forehead." he had grumbled and Chuuya had broken out into peels of joyous laughter.

"I know." she giggled.

"It got stuck in my hair."

"Oh that's so good!" Chuuya had gasped, out of breath from laughter. 

Their group missions had started up again and while there was a joy to it, things had changed. Y/n had changed, the new edge to her brutality had not left her when their conflict had come to an end. She threw herself before enemies, in front of gun shots. She was using her ability to her advantage and it was almost a terrifying thing to see. Dazai couldn't imagine going up against someone like that, he hoped never to be on the receiving end of her tactics.

The first time Chuuya had seen her die had been funny however. They had cornered their last target and he had pulled a gun on them. Both Dazai and Chuuya had stopped in their tracks, holding their hands up in weaponless surrender but Y/n had simply continued to advance. The man had shot her five times before turning the gun back onto her companions.

Dazai had stood, smirking slightly, as Chuuya had fallen to his knees beside her, cradling her head in his hands. He had glared at Dazai, yelled at him. Asked how he could be so heartless. Dazai had just shrugged. 

Chuuya had nearly screamed when Y/n sat up and spat out the bullets. Their target had not been as successful in holding his exclamation of surprise back.

"Miss me?" she had playfully asked as she got to her feet.

"What the fuck." Chuuya had exclaimed, laughing in disbelief before rounding on Dazai as Y/n finished the job, "You fucking knew! You fucker, letting me... you fucking knew!"

For Dazai's birthday, he had brought Chuuya and Y/n to Lupin to spend time with Ango and Oda. He was growing closer with the two men, and it was a gift to see his friends all getting along and having fun together. Not that he would ever admit it, of course.

Before any of them knew it, time had passed to the extent that even the youngest member of their trio had reached the ripe old age of eighteen. It had even come as a surprise to Y/n herself.

"Happy birthday!" they had exclaimed, having snuck into her room at the crack of dawn to wake Y/n up as a joke.

She had groggily sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

"What the heck guys." she had grumbled, "It's not even my birthday. What time even is it?"

Dazai had laughed and Chuuya had placed the present they had pooled their money to get her on the edge of her bed.

"It's definitely your birthday." Dazai had said as Chuuya pulled out his phone.

"Look." Chuuya turned it on, displaying the time and date to Y/n who was still half asleep.

"Four fifteen am... July 20th... oh wait.... never mind, I guess it is my birthday. Happy birthday to me, I guess. Wild." (A/N: sorry I'm giving you a birthday date)

They had gotten her clothes for her birthday, just two pairs of black jeans and a few shirts. Some normal pajamas. A black zip hoodie was in the mix too. She had almost been brought to tears by the revelation. Now when taking part in their late night hangouts, it was all she wore.

Dazai had no frame of reference from which to understand it, but the more he watched Y/n die, the more unbearable it became. It had just continued to grow worse and worse, she used it like it was her only tactic in a fight. He thought he would be used to it by now, but late at night the images replayed in his head. Y/n getting a knife in her heart, bleeding out with her throat slit, head bashed in by some freak with a baseball bat. He thought he could create something from it, from such a constant source of loss, but all that sprung from it was his own disgust and worry.

It wasn't disgust at her, no. That idea seemed impossible. Rather, it was more a disgust at how invaluable she saw her own life. How easily she seemed to throw it all away. It was the willingness. 

The final straw was when she threw herself off the top of an eighteen story building to catch a target that was trying to make an escape. Even though he knew better, Dazai had run to the edge, reaching out after her. He had stood frozen, watching her fall, could see the splatter of blood on the ground where she had landed.

By the time he and Chuuya had made it out of the building, she already had the man handcuffed and unconscious. She sat on the curb with him at her feet, waiting for them.

"Got him." she casually smiled, covered in her own blood and gesturing to the figure at her feet as they made their way over to her.

Dazai stormed to her side and glared down at her.

"What?" she questioned, genuine confusion spreading across her expression in the form of a furrowed brow.

"You're stressing him out." Chuuya sighed, coming up on Y/n's other side and taking a seat beside her.

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, well if you don't like me dying... then-" she sarcastically replied.

"No, I don't." Dazai cut her off.

"Hypocritical coming from a man who has been trying to kill himself from the day I met him."

"Stop it." Dazai said, the sharp edge of his voice dulling with the more he said, "And I want you to stop fighting like that."

"Why should I? It works. Besides, you don't yell at anyone else when they use their abilities."

"That's because they don't die for theirs."

"Yeah but my death is practically inconsequential." she shrugged, "I come back."

"I must admit," Chuuya cut in and Y/n turned to him as he spoke, "it is a little much. I don't love watching my best friend die every five minutes when were on a mission."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad." she sighed.

"Yes, it is that bad Y/n." Dazai countered.

"And what about you and your whole creation from loss theory? I would have thought you'd have a field day with this."

Dazai crouched down beside Y/n, meeting her eyes. He didn't like being genuine, being vulnerable. It felt weak. There wasn't any other choice when it came to Y/n though, she was so stubborn.

"Please, Y/n." he said, his voice coming out much softer, "You're a good fighter without it as well as with it. Sometimes it might be necessary, but this is excessive. Its too much for m- us."

Her eyes widened and her lips were slightly parted. Clearly she hadn't expected his request to have come from such a deep place. Even Chuuya who was used to seeing this softer side of his executive on occasion was a little taken aback.

"Okay." she said at last, he voice barley more than a whisper, "I'll cut back."

He could have hugged her.

"Thank you."