Little Doll (Mafia!Dazai x reader)

(C. 32) War Zone

A/N every time I start writing one of these end chapters, I realize I decided to put  enough story in for two or three. It keeps happening. I'm just going to stop telling you how many more chapters there are. It's a surprise now.

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Dazai had met Ango and Oda at Lupin for the last time the night before. It had been a long day for all of them, they were exhausted. They found themselves discussing Ango's role in everything, his betrayals, as well as Oda's fight with Gide.

"The government has observed that when some abilities interact," Ango was saying, "they may careen off into an entirely unexpected direction in rare cases. I wasn't really supposed to tell you that. It would become a major issue if the brass were to know that I am meeting you like this. I'll have to go underground for the time being."

"Well, well... you're talking as though you will leave this place alive." Dazai interjected and Ango turned to him.

"Are you planning on making this a war zone?" Oda asked.

"It's my fault." Ango said, taking a sip of his drink, "I was wrong. I selfishly thought that here, I could actually meet with you two without having to consider my position."

"Ango," Dazai's words were like ice, "go. Before I change my mind. I'm not sad, I knew this from the beginning. Whether you were with the gifted special operations division or not, anything I would never want to lose is always lost."

His mind filled with thoughts of Y/n, of all the times he had almost lost her. It was the root of his fear in confronting her now, he realized. Not rejection, but of the fact that he had admitted it to himself that he wanted her, treasured her. Now that meant he was destined to lose her.

"It is a given that everything that is worth wanting," he continued, "will be lost the moment I obtain it. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering."

Dazai drained the rest of the contents of his glass and Oda watched, concerned.

"Y/n said something odd to me today." he remarked, almost as if he was reading Dazai's thoughts.

"What was that?" Dazai replied, smiling ruefully.

"Dazai, fear of loss is a foolish thing. If you continue to live your life like that, you will end up regretting it." Oda said in place of an answer to his question. Dazai was unfazed.

"If all things go as planned, I wont be here long enough to regret."

Oda sighed, shaking his head and Ango stood.

"Dazai, Odasaku," he began, looking at them each in turn, "if there ever comes a time when the division and the Port Mafia don't exist and we all become freer men, let's come back here and-"

"Don't say it, Ango." Oda interrupted, "Don't say anything more."

They each knew it could never be and nothing hurts more than hope for the impossible. Ango placed a few coins on the table for his drink and made his way out of the bar in silence. Dazai and Oda remained quietly in their seats for a moment before Oda spoke again.

"Dazai, don't forget," he said, getting to his feet and paying his own bill, "she isn't like the rest of us. She comes back."

And then, Dazai was alone.

That had been last night, it seemed a world away to both men now as they stood at the back of the crowd that had gathered in the wake of the van's explosion. Dazai had heard everything, he knew what his friend had lost. That was why he had come.

"Odasaku." he called out as he made his way over to the older man who looked over at Dazai, meeting his insistent gaze, "I know what you're thinking. Don't do it. Even if you do it..."

"Even if I do it, it won't bring the kids back." Oda finished for him, turning back to the fire.

"They still have numbers." Dazai continued, "And they are at-"

"I know where they are. I got an invitation, you see."

"Listen to me. The Boss just attended a secret meeting with the Gifted Special Ops Division. There is something more than this going on."

"There is nothing more going on, Dazai." Oda sighed, walking past Dazai and stopping when they were back to back. Neither turned to face the other. "It's all over for me."

"Odasaku, forgive me for putting it this way, but please hear me out. You need to rely on something. It can be anything. You should wait and see what happens next, whatever that is. It will happen."

"Y/n said something odd to me yesterday."

"You mentioned."

"She told me that none of this would end well, not for any of us."

Dazai let out a small, sad laugh.

"She used her ability, did she? I figured as much after what you said last night."

"She did it to save Akutagawa's life."

"Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Port Mafia?" Dazai turned now, watching the little of Oda's face that could be seen from behind his back, "I was hoping there'd be something in it for me. If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I thought that way, I could... I could find a reason to live somehow."

"I wanted to become a writer." Oda revealed with little notice, "I thought I'd los my right to do that if I killed again. That is why I stopped killing."

"Odasaku."

"All that has come to a close, Dazai." Odasaku said as he began to walk away.

"Don't go!" Dazai called after him desperately, "Odasaku!"

He tried to grab his friend's shoulder, but he was too far out of reach now.

"I only want one thing."

"Odasaku!"

"You've already found your reason Dazai, stop being such a fool."