(C. 26) Pinky Promise

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A/N oooh this is gonna be a rough one guys. also a cute one. major TW for SA and pedophilia cause she's still eighteen so she is legally not child but still. Also,,, I'm so excited for the ending I have planned for this book. It's gonna be so cute. Also,, thank you so much for 8k+ reads!! I'm so grateful.

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It was a few weeks after she had agreed to stop killing herself so freely on their missions that Dazai decided to visit her room. It was the first time he had done so without Chuuya at his side in several months, the first time he had done so since she had moved rooms save when he was sneaking a few notes in. But she hadn't been there when he had done that and he felt like it didn't count.

He was almost nervous at the prospect, had to keep on reminding himself that this was how their friendship had started. This was their tradition, their way of life. That it would be okay, she wouldn't be mad.

He pictured her surprise, visualized her smile at his arrival. Steeled himself against his nerves. He had never felt this way at the beginning, it must just be the passage of time. That was all, he just hadn't done it in a while. Nothing else. Right?

On his way back from finishing up the last of his paperwork, it was already nearing eleven pm. Chuuya was out on some solo mission or another, Akutagawa was most certainly asleep, and Dazai was bored. It made total sense.

Continuing to justify his actions in such was as he approached her door, Dazai fiddled with the edges of the bandage around his left wrist. He considered just fully breaking in for a moment, a replay of their early friendship, but found himself frozen in front of the door at the idea. No, knocking was safer.

There came no reply from behind the door and after about a minute, he knocked again. It was strange, he knew Y/n had finished her work already. She had actively told him she was going to her room when she had left him alone in his office a few hours before hand. Chuuya was gone and she didn't like smoking alone, so where else would she be?

Without really thinking about it, he tried the handle of the door and found it to turn easily beneath his hand. His heart dropped. Without a second thought, he burst into the room, mind wild with visions of finding her truly dead or seeing everything torn to bits and her being absent. He stepped into the darkness.

The light from the hallway and the full moon streaming in through the windows illuminated the figure of Y/n. She was sitting on her messy bed, back pressed to the wall and knees pulled into her chest. Looking up at the sound of him entering, her hair was a wild mess and Dazai could see the neckline of the slip she wore had a huge tear down the side. Eyes wide and empty, she observed Dazai as he shut the door behind him.

Slowly, he made his way over to the bed, stopping when he came to its edge and kneeling down onto the floor, resting his arms on the soft mattress.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice as soft and gentle as he could make it.

Y/n didn't answer, only continued to stare at him with her wide empty eyes.

"Y/n," he began, reaching out to grab her hand. His words died in his throat and his movements fell still when he saw how violently she flinched away in reaction.

"Can I come sit next to you?" he asked.

She thought for a moment before nodding her head once. It was a jerky, uneven motion and Dazai got to his feet. He sat on the edge of the bed, making sure to give her space.

"Was Mori here?"

Suddenly, tears began to fall from Y/n's eyes and she buried her head in her knees. Dazai watched her as she sobbed, her shoulders shaking from the effort. He wanted nothing more than to comfort her, to rub her back, to tell her things would be okay, to apologize for not being able to protect her, for letting her down again. Instead, he just sat there, waiting for her to calm down.

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