Orange Heart ~Joe Burrow

80

McKenna's POV:

March 9th, 2022

Spiraling is an understatement, I have been in a downward spiral since I met with Mitch face-to-face nearly a month ago now. I overdosed, I miscarried Skyler, I ran away from Joe, and in all of that mess, I lost some control over my weight and put on 10 pounds which isn't exactly a bad thing but when you're famous, it's not good either. Comments have been shut down on my Instagram and Joe's due to all of the pregnancy and fat-shaming comments.

I have been drinking pretty heavily, normally those types of comments wouldn't get to me. I'm used to having haters, but I've truly reached my breaking point with everything I've gone through in the last month. I feel horrible since Joe is practically here to babysit me but I'm just done. I wish I could tell people what's happened to me but even if I did, they would never understand. People are cruel and no matter what you go through, there will always be haters. 

I've been getting back into the groove of working out, karate training has been a huge part of my life the last few days. I've even got Joe to train with me even though I'm pretty sure he's only going to make me happy, which is honestly the sweetest thing ever. Besides the hate comments, I'd say we are starting the healing process from losing Skyler. Joe was visited by Skyler the night after I was and that has really given us closure and I think we are both really grateful to have been able to see her even if it was just once for a few moments. 

As far as Mitch, the police think he's moved upstate but they have no proof as per usual. I am still fearing for Joe's life, but being in his presence is the only thing I need to keep me sane. I love him, I love him so much. He's so good to me and he's done everything in his power to cheer me up while he's been here and I've been trying to cheer him up. I know that him finding out about Skyler and losing her on the same day was a huge hit to him and I still feel awful about it. However, we are both growing and learning from our past mistakes, granted I have more to learn than him but it's the thought that counts. 

Joe and I have also told a few others of our loss just so that the closest people in our lives know what's been happening as of lately. Ja'Marr and Tee know, Josh knows, Meadow knows, Tanner knows, my grandparents know, and Joe's parents know. All of them have been nothing but there for us when we need them and I'm grateful to have such kind and loving people in my life.

I have found a new apartment as well, Joe has been helping me pack my stuff and he's going to help me move when the time comes. "Hey, Joe?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"When did you want to move in together?"

He smiled at me, "You could move in today,"

I laughed, "No, seriously thinking, when could it happen?"

"Well, I kind of want a bigger house first. I'm still in a starter house and when you move in, I want it to be our forever home. Assuming I stay in Cincinnati of course, but once we have kids, I'd rather not uproot them. So realistically, at some point this year,"

I smiled, "I like that idea and I agree, I don't want to uproot our kids either. I think I'm going to stop taking roles after this year for a bit to give us some time together. We can get married, find our forever home, and start having kids,"

Joe kissed my forehead and then my lips, "I would love that, sweetheart,"

"It's also possible that I might have to leave the country to film a few movies,"

"That's okay, Kenna. That just gives me an excuse to travel the world with you,"

I wrapped my arms around him and smiled, "You do realize that if you went blonde, we could literally be Ken and Barbie?"

He laughed, "Yeah, right. I was blonde once in my life darling, I doubt it'll happen again,"

"It might help you win a Super Bowl,"

"What? The brunette isn't enough to win?"

I smirked, "I didn't say that,"

"Mmmmhmmm, sure,"

I pressed a kiss to Joe's lips and smiled, "Do you understand how much I love you, Joseph Lee?"

"I think I do, McKenna Blake,"

I wrapped my arms around him and sighed, "You're my best friend, Joe,"

"You're my best friend too, darling. Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I just really needed you to know,"

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too,"

Joe lifted me into his arms and took us to bed, it was so comforting to just lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat as his chest raised and fell. Joe was playing with my hair and that helped me to fall asleep rather quickly. He was my everything and I would never trade him for anything at all.

A/N:

Short chapter, I apologize. I can never get enough of their cuteness though. They are the dream couple that I aspire to have. Thank you all for the love and support!

Big things are coming though! My best friend and I are writing a book series together and I've never been so excited before. It's a Dystopian series of hopefully 3 books and maybe a prequel down the road but we haven't decided yet. I'm so excited to share it with each and every one of you!