Courage to Let Love in

Chapter 17: In an open Combat

Queen Natasha's P.O.V.

When I heard that loud bang I rushed out of tent only to discover myself engaged in an open combat. I can scarcely remember every tiny detail of what came to pass that day but I can still close my eyes and concentrate hard on what had happened and smell that smoke, blood and ashes.

For hours we fought furiously, to me, that fight was so senseless that I couldn't comprehend what was going on at that time. I remember how I rushed towards a horsemen and knocked him over with a spear. All my routine practice was helping me restrict the Attackers to enter further into our Camp. After knocking him off his ride, I mounted the horse and rushed towards a tall man, who seemed to me, their leader.

I remember how he was still on his horseback when I had shot my spear, it was a very long chase and towards the end of it, we had managed to come quite far away from the main combat space. Once I had eased his pain by inserting that small pocket knife right through his heart, I turned my attention towards the others. 

Like it always happens to me, the cuts and injuries on my entire body were slowly and gradually  making their presence known to me. Ignoring the pain, I galloped to reach the core of the combat only to be knocked down by an attacker. I landed on a soft ground near the pond. The intruders attacked me with all their might and I was loosing the duel when a couple of men came to my rescue.

Gradually they managed to overcome them and they came crumbling to our feet with countless injuries. I motioned my men not to kill them and they nodded in agreement. Right at that very instant, we heard the cries at a distance and several more Intruders came streaming in like a hurricane.

That instant was the moment when I closed my eyes in despair and prayed for mercy from my Creator. Like I said, it was an instant but it felt like eternity. The moment I opened my eyes, I felt strength running through my veins. Other men also joined by my side and formed a human shield against the Intruders.

The time stilled at that moment as the opposition came rushing towards us. Before that moment, I never had experienced the infinity of an instant nor was I ever so amazed by several events taking place simultaneously on that "well aware" moment in Time.

It is strange how vividly the images of that combat come to my mind. For months I struggled to solve the puzzle in my mind. I kept on arranging the events as they happened but I can only remember a few of them in a form of flashbacks. Sometimes, these flashbacks are so vivid that it shakes me to the core. But then again, all the wars and battles that I have been to, they all have the same affect on me.

Sometimes I am visited by the ghosts of the past. Amongst such ghosts are those faceless and nameless men that I had encountered myself during the fights. It is with regret that I had done the deed, but when I had to do it, I opt the least painful way of doing it. Nevertheless, I am never proud of such bloodshed.

When the second encountered begun we were already weary and most of us were bleeding with open wounds and injuries. I can still recall the sounds and battle cries as the blades collided and how with time sunlight slowly came penetrating through the thick forest trees. And how it was on mid-day when the sun came to it's zenith, and we heard familiar sounds of the battle horns being blown at a distance. Help had arrived.

I caught a few glimpses of some familiar faces but I was too pre-occupied in resisting the Intruders. Gradually, I came to admire the courage and boldness with which the Intruders were now trying to hold their grounds. In spite of their misfortune in achieving their goal, they continued fighting. The rescue we had received towards the end of the combat ignited a new spirit within us and we were able to do our job neatly.

Like I have previously told so, several occurrences resulted in our victory. The surviving intruders were then held captive. And in the end of the day we could finally take breathe of relief and ponder on reasons of the Attack.

I was in the Chief's tent when the Chief himself, my friend, Aaron entered. I turned to face him when I learned that he was accompanied by two other men, one of them being my husband. I was taken back, since I was not expecting him at all. Previously, towards the end of the fight, I thought that I had seen him but quickly brushed that thought away and now he was standing right before me with a poker-face.

The moment our eyes met he ignored all the propriety or manners and came rushing towards me directly. The other two men left us alone in the tent. As he swiftly made his way towards me, closing the distances between us, I felt weak. My knees were almost trembling and my mind was semi-numb as he took his final steps and was standing inches away from me.

He looked straight into my eyes and that made me shiver to my bones. He was looking at me with terrible seriousness. He wore his ultra business-like expression. What made it so intimidating was that he never blinked during that brief "eye-contact". He was staring at me with such determination that it was making my already weak-self tremble. Those unspoken moments interrogated me until my spirit was stripped most brutally and had left me utterly exposed.

For some reasons, I feared, that his eyes were accusing me or perhaps blaming me for putting myself in such a danger, a danger that had then taken so many lives. His "unspoken" accusation defeated me mercilessly and I took all the blame without argument.

It is quite strange when we can't prove how much responsible we are for causing such an ugly situation but deep inside we know that some how we really are responsible for it, no matter how vaguely. Such unexplainable phenomenon do occur. One might not be able to know exactly how much or with what intensity you are to be accused for causing trouble, but you would always find a reason in something to blame yourself for.

I was not responsible for causing the Attack but I was responsible for not taking enough measures in keeping myself protected for the sake of others. I took all the blame and lowered my gaze.

I felt how he gently took my arm in his hand and dragged me slowly towards the exit. The return journey was a very uneventful, unpleasant and quite. Neither of us talked nor did our guards. Some brief exchange of words passed between guards and Fredrick but he avoided interacting with me altogether. I preferred him avoiding me. It made me feel less ashamed also. A small comfort, I thought to myself.

I could not explain why I felt so ashamed of not taking guards with me. Or why I was so comfortable and accepting in taking all his "unspoken accusations". All I could think at that time was men, men who died protecting me. I could now recall that initially I was encircled by men who were prepared to die protecting until they could not no longer hold me back and I had indulged myself in the fight as well.

I sighed deeply as I dismounted my mare. The cold silence between me and Fredrick pierced through my soul like that winter cold wind. As we entered the palace we were received by quite an audience but Fredrick gestured and dismissed them. Small whispers and mummers broke but he took my hand and we turned to walk passed them.

By now, my mind was half-conscious. I was now gradually becoming aware of all the injuries and wounds that I had caused myself. My physical senses were becoming more sharper while my mind was drifting further away from the current scenario. I was having troubles walking straight and I was wondering to myself the cause of it, stupidly.

Just as we reached the desserted room, I slowly tried to gain my 'presence' of mind. Fredrick had ordered the Healers and nurses and he was now busy drawing the curtains shut while keeping the windows open for ventilation. I was still standing when he had finished arranging the room. I realized that we were in his quarters. There was a knock at the door and he opened it. 

The Healers and nurses came and settled me in a comfortable sofa. He stood by my side and stayed there until they had finished "patching me" up. He was observing me so closely and monitoring them so keenly that I feel uncomfortable. Perhaps I was expecting a second dose of his "silent anger".

Once they finished they tended to that cut on his forehead that I hadn't noticed until at that moment. They left the room quitely. And as he clicked the door shut and turned to face me I prepare myself to face him with whatever little courage and strength I was left with.