Summer's Winter

Chapter 9 - Anise

School starts next week and I realized that his presence was lingering somewhere. He's my first real crush. Sure, I had crushes before but those crushes never made me feel weak like this. My thoughts are messy, I can't focus on anything. My thoughts drift back to Tucker. My heart melts like chocolate basting in the sun. 

Boom right when I wake up and see the white ceiling, and Tucker's hair. See the resemblance? I rubbed my eyes and saw Tucker's face. The pressure on my face appears. Looking at the fake flowers hanging from the ceiling made me remember when I carried flowers to his place. 

Life does its thing and I meet this incredible guy that sweeps off the hot summer ground. I felt this constant state of his coldness everywhere. Water, ice, my hands, anything white that matches his white hair, the tulips I see at my mom's store, and silvers like his eyes. 

Sure, I also had relationships but those were platonic. Their kisses wouldn't compare to his. Tucker, I want you to notice me. Love me. Fix me. I want to stay with you. I won't leave you. Ever. I promise. I don't want to leave those silver-piercing eyes. He makes me have chills down my face and then my spine. 

I opened the blinds from my room and peered into his backyard. Tucker Falter is outside with a girl. A GIRL. She is blonde, pretty, I have to admit, she is so much prettier than me. She wears a crop top and a skirt.  She flips her hair to one side and the volume of the layers of her hair is curly. Oh, I would kill to be like her. I'm not pretty, I think tomboy clothes fit my personality. Her confidence is off the roof. I'm jealous. My blood boils. What is my Tucker doing with her? I feel a sense of shame. Are they dating? I hope not. I watch their every move. Tucker took off his shirt and the girl took off hers. They were in their swimming stuff. The girl looks very look in that two-piece bikini. I could never my belly rolls would probably show. 

She splashed water Tucker and Tucker didn't smile or move a muscle as always. He splashed her back. Oh to be in that girl's position right now. How come she gets to be in the pool? Jealously, Jealously, Jealously. I closed the blinds. I'm crying. Do crushes hurt this bad? The sun suddenly turned colder and I can see Tucker holding hands with a girl now. The silvers remind me of Tucker using his eyes to look at someone else and not me. ME. I fear to lose him. Is she going to kiss him? Will my life be over at this very second? Like I promise, I won't lose him. I felt this unhealthy feeling. Rage, annoyance, and jealousy. 

I closed the blinds. I don't have anything to do with this. I plopped on my bed. My heart burned into ashes. The sun grew colder and I was furious. Thoughts of Tuckers became icicles stabbing my heart into million pieces. 

At night Mom came home with white tulips. I rushed downstairs. Mother is washing her hands in the kitchen to prepare for dinner. I have a sad approach on my face. My mother turned around and looked at me. She gave me a weird look. 

"Tell me what is on your mind," My mom said to me rushing over to me. 

I just felt a gush of water on my hands from my mother washing her hands. The water used to remind me of Tucker swimming. This time swimming with someone else. 

"Do you know the new neighbor's son?" I said looking up at Mother. 

"Of course. Oh. I see where this is going. Did he hurt you? Where. Where. Where did he hurt you?" My mother said looking at my body. 

"No, not like that mother," I said crossing my arms now. 

"Okay tell me, you were always happy like the sun. What makes you upset like hail hit your head millions of times?" My mother said. 

"I have a crush on him mother," I said. 

My mom's eyes widen. 

"Oh welcome to being a teen," My mom said giggling. 

"What about it that is so funny?" I said looking at her in confusion. 

"Oh you know, how I had a crush on your dad and he rejected me several times. I'm kind of glad we divorced." She said. 

"How did he finally like you back?" I said in amusement. 

"It was difficult Anise, I grew out of love and his parents one day were looking for suitors for their son. I was picked for him. He eventually stopped throwing a fit and just married me. I grew back feelings for him, he didn't" She said. 

"Oh yeah, you told me that story many times. You hopeless romantic," I joked. 

"Hahah, go deliver the flowers to the Falters, would you? Make sure that Tucker doesn't get into your mind. Whatever he did that hurt you. He doesn't deserve your attention now." My mother said while preparing dinner. 

"Alright mother." I sighed and put on my shoes.

I stood there on his porch all stupid and staring at the doorbell. I sighed. I pressed the doorbell and waited there with flowers and a fake smile on my face. Tucker opens, this time with that girl. 

"Flowers again?" I said with a fake smile. 

"Oh that is for Aunt Amy," The girl said and grabbed the flower. 

Did she just say, Aunt? Aunt Amy? That must mean she is Tucker's cousin. A relief splashed through my face. My feelings grew more. Maybe he is more capable than me. 

"Thanks," Tucker said and closed the door. 

I watch him close the door on me. Oh well, as long my problems are justified. I went to my house and ran up to my room. I giggled. I'm in love with Tucker.