Summer's Winter

Chapter 24 - Tucker

I was mowing the lawn. I look at Anise's house. I see her opening her arms to a guy. A GUY. Anise Mai is outside with a guy. A GUY. He is blonde and pretty handsome, I have to admit, he is not prettier than me. He wears a shirt and shorts. He has long hair and flipped it to one side of his head. 

His confidence is off the roof. I'm jealous. My blood boils. What is my Anise doing with him? I feel a sense of shame. Are they dating? I hope not. I watch their every move. I stupidly head to my backyard with my lawn mower. I peered at both of them heading out to her court. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME HOLDING HER HANDS. 

She checks the ball to him. They are doing a 1v1. He threw the ball right over her. I giggled and he looked at me with a cold stare. I stared coldly back at him. I want him away from Anise. I do want her with me. At the same time. It was my fault that she hates me now. I can't do anything about it.

I had my hands still on the lawn mower. He has his hand on the basketball. I feel like he is trying to protect Anise or something. I glare at him with a blank expression. He glared at me back. Anise moved closer to Knox. I never felt so jealous. 

"Knox, let's keep going," She said while placing her hand on his arm.

"Alright," Knox said while looking at her. 

I cringed and gagged when he looked into her eyes. His long hair breezed through the soft wind of summer. His hair looks like a snakes. I hate him already. I can feel like he will be a bad boyfriend for her. 

She kisses Knox. Shit, She kisses him. He leaned in closer and kissed her back. Inside I am going into a frenzy. I frowned. I FROWNED. I stared at Knox deep down with an icy fury. Knox noticed my stares. I feel like he is getting annoyed with me and dragging Anise into her house. 

Oh to be in that guy's position right now. How come he gets to be in the court with her? Jealously, Jealously, Jealously. Do crushes hurt this bad? The sun suddenly turned colder and I can see Knox holding hands with Anise now.

 The white tulips remind me of Anise giving those flowers to me. ME. I fear to lose her. Is she going to love him for the rest of her life? Will my life be over at this very second? I won't lose her. I won't give her away to him. I felt this unhealthy feeling. Rage, annoyance, and jealousy.

 Thoughts of Anise became the sun punishing my heart by burning it alive. It bore a hole in my soul. I don't know how I feel, I shouldn't be feeling like I need to cry, it's over, you don't need her, she has someone to love now. 

 Why do I still feel for her? I'm the one that broke her, I want her again. I want her to stalk me again. I want her to deliver flowers again. I am nice to her and she thinks less of me now. I think I did deserve her ignorance. I don't want her to ignore me again. 

What if I never talked like that about her with Scott? Would I still hate her? What if she likes me the way I like her now? What if I am faced with seeing her again on my porch holding those white flowers? The 'what if' will always haunt me. This event caused me into a senseless void of acceptance. I hate myself for hating her in the first place. Why I didn't see the sign that she was just being nice? 

I look at my contact, Anise with a heart.  It was unbearable pain and jealousy as I believed he did not suit her.  I was heart broken. What else could I do? She admitted that she liked him. Our paths never passed. She is always with Knox. I'm always here, waiting in my backyard seeing them play which each other. 

Me and Scott have been in touch recently. He doesn't know about my crush on Anise. I think it is time I tell him. I called him through social media. He seems to have in Belize. 

"What is up dude" Scott said. 

"Good, I think I need to tell you something" I said. 

"Alright go ahead" He said. 

"I think I like Anise Mai" I said. 

I can hear through the phone that he spat his water or drink out of his mouth. 

"WHAT! ANISE MAI? SHE IS UGLY. DUDE SHE FUMBLED YOU" Scott said. 

"No dude, you are not going to believe this. She has a big glow up." I said. 

"I will look at her social media real quick" Scott said. 

Scott paused for a minute. 

"Alright you are right. You have fumbled." Scott said. 

"Ugh. I should have just let her annoy me." I said. 

"Oh? You miss her stalking you?" Scott said with a goofy tone.

"Not going to lie yeah. She treated me well and also helped me. I just feel jealous when she doesn't want to talk to me anymore" I said.

Scott laughed. 

"She fell first for you, it looks like you fell harder dude. How is the turn tables now" Scott joked.

"Alright dude, calm down." I said. 

The called ended because Scott's stupid data sucked.